Persuasion
by Endlessly Drowning
Summary: AU to The Half Breed Diaries. Jacob imprints on an unknown girl but runs away in anger. Soon after he regrets his decision. But he has no idea who she is or how to find her. Is the fate of imprinting enough to lead him to her? Or is his destiny lost?
1. Chapter 1 Dilemma

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- Ok, so here is my next project that I've been wanting to start for awhile. I really enjoyed writing Calli and Jacob, so I decided to take the storyline from The Half Breed Diaries in a different direction. If you haven't read that story, you'll still be able to follow this one just fine, this is just basically an AU to that story. So, I hope you enjoy this story too!**

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I stopped walking and turned my head up, to find only the tall tops of the trees blocking out the cloudy day. I took a long, deep breath, letting the rain stream down my face. Finally I hung my head and continued walking quickly. My heart raced furiously in my chest, and it had nothing to do with my frustrated walk.

I wanted to phase, badly, to just change and run out all the frustration and all the anger I had bottled inside. But I didn't want them in my head right now, hearing more stuff about her. Because she was all I really thought about. I was tired of having the thoughts, and I loved her. I figured they were probably pretty damn tired of it all too.

But I could never get Bella out of my head. My thoughts, especially lately, were almost always angry…but they were always her, regardless. Two months since they'd gotten married, and not even for two seconds could I get it out of my head.

For awhile I woke up every day telling myself that the wedding wasn't going to happen. That she was going to come to me, tell me that she just couldn't marry him. But she never came. We never even talked after that day in my room; that was the last time I saw her. I told her I would let go, that I would stop pulling her in another direction; a direction she didn't want to be pulled in. We said we would be friends. But now we had nothing. I hadn't heard anything from her leech either…not since he had sent me that stupid invitation.

Just picturing the damn thing made me shake, and I pushed the thought out as fast as it came.

I had thought about going to the wedding constantly. I didn't want to attend, I knew I couldn't handle that, but I thought about standing back in the trees and watching it all. But I knew if I went there would be no just standing around. I knew one of two things would happen; either I would tear the bloodsucker apart right there, in front of everyone, in front of Bella on her wedding day. Or I would grab her and run as far as I could as fast as I could.

But I had promised her. And I knew that either one of those things would be breaking that promise. So the morning of their wedding I woke up and went straight into the forest, pacing and running all day, trying desperately to contain the anger, the hate, the hurt welling up inside me.

And when I got home that night all it had taken was one look from Billy for me to know that it had happened, that it was over, that she was forever his.

And every day since then has kind of been a blur. Like I've been moving, living, but only because I have to. I patrol when Sam tells me to patrol, trying my best to keep my head as clear of Bella as I possibly can.

Being around the pack was torture for awhile. It's not so bad now. In the beginning they all just looked at me so pitifully, calling the leech names, trying to make me feel better. Of course, it never did, and after awhile they got that, and it stopped. Now they just say hi, make some small talk, and go on their way. All but Leah, of course, who's been excruciatingly annoying since the big fight. She's been driving me insane, always coming around and babbling a mile a minute about total crap.

School started awhile back, and that, like everything in my life these days, has been a blur. I go every day. I sit at my desk, I look at the teachers. But I'm never focused on that. I'm never focused on anything but Bella and my anger, my hurt…and unfortunately, my love.

Billy's been worrying more and more about me. I knew that today as I walked through the rainy forest, just like I knew that every day. At first he sat me down a bunch of times trying to talk me through it. When he realized that wasn't really working he was just kind of quiet for awhile. Then he went through a little phase where he tried to yell and scream. Tough love, I guess.

I know he tries asking Sam what I'm thinking when I'm phased. But it's never anything different. I'm always, always thinking about Bella.

Billy talks to Charlie a lot, gets lots of updates on how things are going with her. I've been waiting every day with baited breath for the time Charlie finally tells Billy that Bella and Edward are going to some far away college. Surprisingly it hasn't happened yet. I really was expecting it to happen right after they got married. But they're still in Forks, and Bella is still unchanged.

Some tiny, idiotic part of me has kept some kind of hope alive for her. I had hoped she wouldn't marry him…but she did. Now I hoped that she would change her mind, that she had changed her mind, that she wasn't going to let him turn her into one of _them_. But, when I thought realistically, rationally, I knew that would never happen. Bella would be changed, and the girl I know, the girl I love, would be gone forever.

I stopped walking abruptly, kicking the trunk of a tree directly in front of me hard enough to hear a nice crack. I hated so many things right now, and it was driving me crazy. I hated Edward; a part of me even hated Bella. I hated that she was going to let him change her into a monster. I hated that she wouldn't choose a better life for herself. But more than anything right now, I hated that I could never get her off my mind. Because now that I knew that she was his, that she will be his forever and will never be with me, I just wanted to stop thinking about her.

But no; I think about her all the time. I wonder if she ever thinks of me, if she ever misses me. If she ever regrets choosing _him_ over me. Does she ever regret the choice of becoming a monster, a vampire, instead of the life she could have with me? A normal, full life with family and children and…humanity.

Just thinking about her being bitten, of her dying, of her turning into one of those awful…the quivering hit and I knew I needed to stop thinking about it, stop picturing it. I took a couple deep breaths to try and calm myself down. This happens to me so much lately. So much pain, so much anger that I wish would go the hell away. When I'm not just going through the motions, living my life in a daze, I'm constantly angry. And when I'm not feeling that anger, I feel nothing.

I stopped walking and stared ahead at absolutely nothing. I knew that one day, eventually, the pain and the anger would go away. It had to. But I had no idea when that day would come. I wanted that day now. I wanted it right this minute. Now that I knew for sure that I had no chance with Bella, that she would forever be Edward's, I wanted her out of my damn head. I wanted to stop picturing her face, her smile. I wanted to stop hearing her voice. But it didn't matter how bad I wanted it. It never, ever happened.

I sat down on the moss covered ground and put my head in my hands. I leaned back onto the huge tree trunk behind me and just sat, trying desperately to push the stupid thoughts out of my head. I started to take slow, deep breaths, and after awhile I felt better. Well, not really better. Just not angry. Dead again, empty. Because that's how I feel when I'm not angry.

My mind went back to the year before, to that day Bella had come to see me the first time after he left her. She had looked awful…sad, dead, like I felt now. But she came back again, and again, and slowly I watched her come back to life.

I wondered what, if anything, would do that for me. I longed for the days when I would just sit in the garage and work. When me and Embry and Quil would just hang out. There was no patrolling, and we weren't werewolves. When the Cullen's were long gone, and Bella came, and she wasn't mine…but she wasn't Edward's either.

But I knew that wasn't true. It hadn't mattered that Edward wasn't there for awhile. She was always his. I sighed in disgust and tried to think of something, anything else. Anything but the two of them.

I tried to think about school, about what was going on in my classes, but I couldn't really remember any of the stuff we were studying. Or, I guess, the stuff we were supposed to be studying. The stuff I was supposed to be studying.

I tried thinking about the guys and what was going on with them. I realized I had absolutely no clue. It had been so long since I talked to Embry or Quil, or anyone for that matter.

I was so unbelievably desperate for a distraction that I tried to remember the last useless thing Leah had been going on about. It was just a few days ago, and I was pretty sure it was about some movie she wanted to see, but I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was called.

It was while I sat there, my head in my hands, my eyes closed, trying to pull up the name of that damn movie, grasping at any single subject that wasn't Bella, that I heard a rustling off in the brush.

Instinctively my head snapped up, and I looked up in the direction of the sound. I held my breath to hear better, and the rustling continued. It sounded closer than it actually was, thanks to my acute hearing, and I tried to push away the other sounds I picked up to locate where it came from. I sniffed the air, trying to see if I could figure out what was making the sound. At least I knew it wasn't a vampire…I could smell them from a mile away.

I stood up and started making my way towards the sound, trying to remember who had been scheduled to patrol that day, if anyone had. But, of course, I had no idea. I only knew that I wasn't supposed to be patrolling.

I didn't even like phasing or patrolling anymore. It used to be one of the best things in my life, and I loved every minute of it. But now I was always trying so damn hard to keep my thoughts away from Bella, to keep my mind somewhat private. I usually just sang some random song in my head. I know it drives them up the wall, but I figure it's better than constant thoughts of Bella…at least the song changes day to day.

The rustling started to get louder, and I knew I was getting close. I kept walking in the direction of the rustling. I wasn't scared…I knew there wasn't anything in this forest that I couldn't handle. I almost wished it was a vampire. It might be nice to rip something to shreds. But now I was starting to pick up a faint scent, and I knew for a fact it wasn't one of them. This was human.

I kept walking forward and came to a line of thin, tall trees that looked into a small clearing. Suddenly I saw what was making the sound, and I stopped mid step.

I watched the girl walk across the forest floor, my heart starting to race immediately. She walked slowly, purposefully, her head turned up toward the sky. She wore brown hiking boots, blue jeans, and a black t shirt. Her light brown hair was cut short, different lengths in different places, the longest one ending just above her shoulders.

She was short, more than a foot shorter than my six foot six frame. She wasn't thin, but she looked really athletic; her body was very compact and toned. She had a symmetrical face with a narrow, thin nose, high cheekbones, and thin lips. And her face looked open, peaceful, like she was completely at home in the forest, with her surroundings. She stopped walking and closed her eyes, her head still turned up, then took a deep breath and smiled. All of this rushed through my mind in an instant before the reality of what was happening hit me.

I looked away from her quickly and grabbed the nearest tree for support. My knees felt weak and I was almost sure I was going to collapse. My breath came in rapid gasps and I tried to take long, deep gulps to calm myself down. My head started swimming and I swayed slightly on my feet, gripping the tree even harder.

I had no idea who this girl was, I had never seen her before in my life. But here, now, this stranger had answered the very dilemma I'd been contemplating all day in the forest. The dilemma I had been contemplating for so long.

Bella would never be a problem again. Because this mystery girl had just become my imprint.


	2. Chapter 2 Imprint

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

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****I did the only thing that made sense to me, the only thing that seemed logical right now.

I ran. I ran far and fast, never looking back as my heart pounded what felt like a hole in my chest. I put distance between me and this unknown, unwanted stranger.

I don't know how long I actually ran, but I finally stopped, wiping the back of my hand across my forehead and then bracing both hands on my knees for support. My breathing still came in wild gasps that I knew were not cause by my frantic running. My whole body shook with convulsions and I told myself over and over in my head to calm down.

I began to concentrate on my breathing, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out over and over. I felt the convulsions rocking my body slow down more and more until they finally stopped. I finally straightened up slowly, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. I began pacing back and forth rapidly, my anger increasing with each and every step.

The voice in my head just kept screaming no. I felt something deep inside me trying to pull me back in the direction I had just come from, back in the direction she was in, but I fought it as hard as I could.

This wasn't right; I never wanted this! I never wanted to imprint; never! Well, that wasn't really true I guess. I had wanted to imprint, but only on Bella. I remembered trying to force myself to imprint on her. But of course it hadn't worked. It wasn't something you could force to happen. It wasn't something you could control.

But I would control it! Damn what they said about imprinting, I would fight it! I could feel myself being drawn involuntarily to her, and I stopped pacing abruptly and planted my feet hard into the ground, standing firm, fighting the urge to run back to this stranger.

Why now? Why was this happening now? It wasn't supposed to happen ever; but especially not right now! I wanted to stop thinking about Bella, I wanted that desperately. But this…I definitely didn't want this. I didn't want someone else to think about. Already the memory of Bella was different in my mind. It was there, but there wasn't that longing, that need…that love. My memory of her seemed distant now, and in what, just a few minutes?. My mind was consumed with this girl.

I pictured her face; her open, peaceful face. Her lithe, graceful steps, her beautiful, sweet smile. I pictured her pale, porcelain skin and her small petite features. She looked so small, so tiny, standing there alone in the middle of the tall trees. Like a porcelain doll. And as I pictured her something in my mind screamed at me to go to her.

No! No, I wouldn't! I didn't want anything to do with her. I didn't know her, but I tried to force myself to hate her, despise her, loathe her. Why, why, why was this happening now? Who was she, and what the hell was she doing here, on the reservation, alone in the middle of the forest?

I felt that part of me, whatever part it was that had imprinted on her trying to pull me back to her, trying to do what was natural for me, for my kind. I thought of Sam and Emily, of Jared and Kim. I thought of the way they looked at each other and how they were inseparable, how they were each other's missing half. I knew, without a doubt, that they belonged together, that they were meant for each other. That was just how imprinting worked. They were everything that the other needed. That they could ever want.

But I absolutely did not want her. I didn't know her, and I didn't want to know her. But could I really keep myself away from her? The pull, the draw I felt to her, was so incredibly strong, and it was only getting stronger as the minutes ticked by. I could literally feel my feet trying to make their way in her direction.

I balled up my fists and planted my feet even harder, determined to remain in place. I was going to stay away from her. If it killed me, I was going to stay away. Eventually I started pacing again, singing random lyrics in my head in an attempt to divert my thoughts.

I started walking through the forest again without even really thinking about it. I had to restrain myself from walking back in the direction of where the girl was. I walked slowly, methodically, all the time with a picture of her in my mind. And as hard as I tried, I couldn't get the picture of her to go away. I was positive I had her face memorized by now, that I could draw all of its features from memory. I wondered who she was. I knew everyone in La Push, and most of the people in Forks, by sight at least. But I knew I had never seen this girl before.

Who was she? And what was she doing in the forest; alone in the forest? Not too many strangers made their way to La Push; it wasn't really a tourist hotspot. Even if the girl was new to Forks, I was sure I would have heard something about her. Forks was a small town, and things got around fast. And whatever got around Forks always got around La Push.

Maybe she was visiting someone. But who? I was still sure that, if that were the case, I would have heard something. She looked like she was pretty young; definitely no older than me. Maybe she was new to Forks, but that still didn't explain why she was in La Push, walking around alone in the forest. Kids came up from Forks a lot to go to First Beach, but she wasn't even close to First Beach, and those kids always came up in groups.

She could have walked into the forest from the beach. But today was most definitely not a beach day. Of course, there were never great beach days in La Push, but some days were better than others. Every once in awhile a day would come along where the sun would peek out from behind the clouds and the temperature would hit the seventies. But today was not one of those days. It wasn't raining hard, but it had been coming down steadily all day.

And she wasn't even wearing a rain coat. She had only been in jeans and a t shirt, with the rain soaking through her. She was probably going to freeze to death. That thought made me laugh as I looked down at my bare chest. I was only wearing a pair of black sweat pants, no shirt, no shoes. But I was a different story. I was pretty sure her temperature wasn't running one oh nine.

But I didn't care if she froze! I just wanted her out of my head. She had to just be visiting the reservation. And that meant she would leave, eventually. I just had to stay away from her until then. I would stay out here in the woods all day if I had to.

But, for the time being, she was in the woods. I considered going home. I was pretty sure I wouldn't run into her locked in my bedroom. But I didn't want to go home. I didn't like being there under Billy's watchful eye. He was always looking at me like I might explode at any minute. I hated looking around my house, my room, and remembering Bella.

Right then I realized I hadn't thought about Bella in awhile. Awhile for me, anyway. That I had only been thinking of the other girl. As uneasy as I felt about this strange girl, it really was a relief to have my thoughts off Bella for any length of time. It was a relief not to be thinking about her. It didn't hurt or upset me. It was just a relief to not obsess over something I knew I could never have.

Except that now I was obsessing over _her_. This girl I knew absolutely nothing about…this girl I imprinted on. But this girl; this girl was different. I knew I could probably be with her, that…

No! I screamed no in my head, trying to overpower the voice that screamed at me to go back to her. I was absolutely not going to let my thoughts go there. I could wonder about her, question her, and I knew that I definitely, for the time being, couldn't stop thinking about her. But I would not think about us being together. Just a couple hours before I had been moping pathetically over Bella, and now I was just going to start picturing myself with this other girl?

No I was not. No way. But was it really possible for me to keep myself away from this girl who, according to our legends, I was now destined for? Who was now destined for me?

My mind went instantly to Sam. Sam who had loved Leah so much. And she had loved him. Sam knew that his future was with Leah, that they would be together forever. He had made her so many promises. And then he had seen Emily, Leah's cousin. All it had taken was one look, and his future had shifted. Because he imprinted on Emily. And from the moment he had laid eyes on her, he had been with her. And Sam could, never, ever be with someone else. All Sam saw was Emily, all he thought about was Emily. I should know, I was in his head so often.

And Sam had broken Leah's heart. He couldn't help it, of course, but he had. But this wasn't the same; I wouldn't be breaking anyone's heart. Bella wasn't in love with me. Well, ok, she loved me. She even admitted it. But not enough to pull her away from Edward.

I told her once that Edward was like a drug for her. She couldn't be without him, that was just the way it was. But she could be without me. The pang that usually accompanied that particularly awful thought didn't come. I didn't miss it, but the reason it was gone made me angry.

I did not want to imprint. It was never that I wanted someone else to love. I didn't want to love anyone at all. I wanted to stop thinking about Bella, wanted to stop loving her, but I didn't want someone new to think about. I never planned on someone filling that hole. And no one ever would. All I had to do was stay away from the girl, whoever the hell she was. I thought about the rest of the pack and what they would all say when they found out.

The rest of the pack…when they found out! It was easy enough for me not to tell anyone, but when I phased they could all hear me. As hard as I tried not to think about Bella when I was phased, I slipped up all the time. But everyone already knew about her, so it wasn't really a big deal. But I didn't want anyone knowing about this girl. All it would take was just one slip up, and everyone would know. The pack, Billy, everyone. And I knew exactly what they would say. They would say that I couldn't fight it, that it was meant to be.

Well, I was going to fight it. I knew the imprinting was strong, I could feel it. The intense longing to be with this girl I didn't even know. But I would just have to be stronger. I could be stronger. I could fight it. My anger would fuel the fight, and I was damn well angry. What the hell kind of hand was this I was being dealt? Definitely not a fair one, that was for sure.

But I was meant to be this girl's everything. That's what imprinting really meant. Her friend and confidante, her companion and lover. Her protector when in danger, her shoulder to cry on when she was hurting. What if she really needed that and I was taking it away from her? What if there was a reason our kind imprinted on the ones we did, some need the other had that we were supposed to fulfill? What if she had something I needed? Or something I wanted?

But I didn't want this, and I didn't want her! She would have to live without me. What could I give her anyway, as broken as I felt, as broken as I was?

But I knew that wasn't really true, not anymore, at least. I knew that just the imprinting in itself had healed something that needed to be healed, whether I wanted it to or not. Already what I felt for Bella seemed insignificant to what I now felt for this girl. My feelings for Bella were dwarfed in just a short time by my feelings for this absolute stranger. My love for her, which had seemed so strong and unbreakable, was already fading away so quickly. It wasn't yet completely gone, but it didn't consume me like before.

Instead my head was consumed with _her_. With the one picture of her I had in my mind. With her face, her smile. I started wondering how she smelled, what her voice sounded like. I wondered what it would be like to look at her every day and love her, and know that she loved me.

Because she would; I knew she would. I knew that if I went to her, there was no question that she would love me. That's just how it worked. I wondered what it would feel like to love someone, and be with someone who wanted to be with me and only me. I wondered what it would feel like to look into her eyes. I hadn't been able to see her eyes from where I stood; I didn't even know what color they were. But I knew that, to me, they would be absolutely beautiful.

She was a beautiful girl, very small and petite, but still strong somehow. The way she walked had almost made it look like she was floating; it was so elegant and graceful. She had looked so at home in the forest, like I was. And she had looked confident, not at all scared or uncertain.

I stopped walking, closed my eyes, and pressed my hands to the sides of my head, trying to physically force the thoughts out. I had only looked at her for maybe a minute and already I was thinking of her every move. I didn't want to think about her anymore. I had to find something, anything else to think about. And to think, just a few hours before I was doing the exact same thing, but Bella was the one I had wanted out of my head. Well, mission accomplished. It was ironic, and pretty disturbing, that in just a few hours my every thought had shifted to some other girl.

I looked around the forest, noticing the day was starting to come to an end. It was starting to get dark outside, and it was chillier than the last time I'd paid any attention. I must have been walking around for hours; I didn't even know where exactly I was in the forest.

I sat down on the ground, scooting back to lean against a tree trunk and draping my arms over my knees. I reached up with one hand without even really thinking about it and began stroking the ponytail at the base of my neck. I felt that the rubber band had come loose and pulled it out, winding it back around my hair more tightly.

Everyone in the pack wore a buzz cut, with the exception of Leah, of course. When I first changed I cut my hair to match theirs. But I had thought Bella liked it better long, so I grew it back out. Now it was down to my shoulders. It made me look different than the others when I was phased; I was much shaggier than them. But I really did prefer it longer, and decided that Bella or no Bella, I would keep it that way.

The others didn't like it, but what could they do. I was second in command, and I was supposed to be first. I didn't take orders from anyone anymore. I could give orders now too, but I never did. I didn't want to be in command. I didn't want to be a werewolf. After all, if I wasn't a werewolf I never would have imprinted. And I definitely did not want to imprint.

I thought about all the others, wondering if they wanted to imprint. Where they waiting for the day when they would find their other halves? I thought about Leah, who was still in love with Sam. Did she want to imprint? Was she waiting for the day when she would find her match and could stop obsessing over Sam?

I could hear her thoughts when we were phased, and they were always bitter, and always about Sam. At least, they had been. I couldn't actually remember the last time I had heard her think about Sam. But I knew it couldn't have been long ago; she always thought about him.

She pestered me a lot, especially lately. She felt some kind of connection to me ever since I saved her that day during the fight. It was a connection that I didn't share. I'd known her my whole life, and she had really always annoyed me. When she changed and became one of us no one had been too happy; we never expected a girl to phase. And no one enjoyed listening to her angry thoughts about Sam and Emily.

Of course, she had good reason to be angry. But that didn't mean we wanted to hear about it all the time. Sam and Emily felt terrible about what they had done to Leah. But there was nothing they could do, they were destined to be together, and always would be. The scars that marred Emily's body were proof enough of that. Even though Sam had gotten angry and slashed Emily's right side from her face right down to her arm, they were still together. Because that's the way it was meant to be.

But not for me. No, I would not be with this unknown girl. I couldn't be. The pull I felt to her was strong; so strong. It took everything I had in me to just stay seated. I could feel my body trying frantically to get up and go to her. I knew that, could feel it in every bone. But I wouldn't. I would stay away, and eventually she would be gone. I would, most likely, never see her again. And that was good. I wasn't sure what I would do, willing or unwillingly, if I saw her again.

And then some part of me felt this overwhelming sadness that I would never see her again, would never look at her or see her smile or know what color her eyes were. But I pushed that part back and tried desperately to keep it away.

I put my head in my hands and sat that way for a long time before I got up, making my way towards home.


	3. Chapter 3 Mistakes We Make

**_The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- I have been having the absolute worst bout of writer's block...with all three of my stories! I was finally able to get this chapter out, and I'm so excited that this story is beginning to progress. If you've read The Half Breed Diaries, you know that the first two chapters mirror the first two of that story exactly, but now this story is beginning to take its own shape, and I'm excited to see it progress. I hope you enjoy, review and let me know what you think of it so far! Thanks!**

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I could feel the tension in the air as soon as I walked through the front door. Was it always like this? I couldn't really remember. I remembered that things had been difficult between us, but I couldn't remember it being this bad, where I could actually feel the charge of the situation in the air. I guess I probably hadn't been paying much attention.

I walked right past Billy into the kitchen, grabbing a pizza box out of the fridge and throwing a couple slices onto a plate and into the microwave. I wasn't even really hungry, but I knew I needed to eat.

When I was finished I stood and started toward the tiny hall that led to my room. But I should have known I wouldn't get away that easily.

"Come here, Jacob," my dad spoke up.

I sighed, continuing to face forward. "Dad, I'm really tired, I just want to go to bed."

"Sleep can wait," he replied gravely.

I sighed again and turned, going back to the living room. "What is it?"

"Jacob, this has got to stop. You're just…a shell. You don't do anything, you don't talk to anyone. This is not healthy."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that dad," I said with an edge to my voice.

"You can't keep going like this. You have to get over it," he kept going, with anger in his voice this time. "Bella has made her choice. It's hard, I know, but you need to get past it."

"Yeah, I know that too," I answered impatiently. All I wanted right now was to tell him how far my mind was from Bella at the moment. She was the very least of my problems.

"Then why aren't you doing anything about it?" he demanded, his voice raising a few octaves.

Suddenly I was furious. I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "Doing?! What do you want me to do, huh? Go ahead, tell me!"

"I don't know, but you need to do something!" he yelled back at me.

"Well, when you figure it out let me know!" I spat angrily and rushed off to my room, slamming the door loudly behind me.

I threw myself onto my bed, laying my arm over my eyes. I closed them and took a deep, slow breath.

I couldn't be too mad at my dad. It wasn't really his fault things had gotten like this. For the last few hours it was like I had woken up from a deep daze. I was feeling and noticing things so much more than I had for a long time. Maybe we had had a lot of discussions that went like this and I just couldn't really remember.

My head swam with all of the things I was now noticing around me…and her. The one picture of her I had was firmly planted in my mind. And even when I thought of other things, that never went away.

I pictured her just as I had seen her; taking careful, deliberate steps across the forest floor. I pictured the small smile I had seen on her face. I pictured the way her skin shone with the moisture that reached it through the tall tree tops.

And I asked myself a million questions about her that I had absolutely no answers to. Her name, how she smelled, what her voice sounded like, where she lived. And as all of this was running through my mind I was yelling at myself for it, telling myself to knock it off, that it wasn't going to help anything, that I didn't want her. That I had done the right thing by walking away from her. My head was full, and confused, and starting to hurt.

This was totally the wrong time to imprint. It was wrong…wasn't supposed to happen. Not now, not in this situation, with everything that had happened. No, actually, never. I didn't ever want to imprint. So walking away from her had been the right thing. It had been right. I just kept telling myself that. And I kept thinking about her, kept picturing her obsessively.

The walk that day must have exhausted me more than normal; or maybe just the abnormal occurrences of the day had. While my mind was racing incessantly with thoughts of her, I could feel my body beginning to shut down, to turn off for the night.

My dreams that night started much how my day had gone. I walked up to the line of trees and there she was, in her blue jeans, her black shirt, the peaceful, small smile playing on her lips. But this time she remained standing, never walking across the forest floor, instead looking around her, up at the sky, down at the forest floor, into the tall trees. But she never looked in my direction.

She never took a step toward me, and I never advanced toward her. Instead we both just remained firmly in place, her eyes on her surroundings, my eyes always on her.

And I felt this strange sort of contentment, of peace, that I was pretty sure I had never felt before. Everything just felt right. Like all of the pieces of some puzzle…the puzzle of my life, maybe...were in place. The anger, that felt like it had consumed me for so long, was gone, and all I felt was this amazing calm.

I think my entire night was taken up by me just staring at her in my dream. And then the point came where she started to fade. It happened quickly, abruptly, and as soon as it began I started feeling a tightness in my chest. It felt a little hard to breathe and I struggled, to no avail, to keep the image of her clear in my mind.

As soon as my eyes opened my world was all wrong. I shot up in bed and clasped my hand to my chest. The tightness was there, and it was getting worse, so that I actually felt physically short of breath.

My eyes darted around my room, back and forth, back and forth, as if I were going to find her there. Of course I didn't, and I felt almost sick. I felt my body begin to shake slightly, and I groaned, dropping my head to my hands and taking a deep breath. I was hoping it would loosen up my chest, but it didn't. And as I sat there with my head in my hands, my first thought of the day hit me with such startling force it rocked me back.

_What the hell did I do?_

Because all I wanted, all I needed right now, was her. I needed to see her. I needed to touch her. To hear her voice. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Bella, the timing, none of it. I wanted her. Right now, I wanted her. How could I have made such a huge mistake? Why didn't I go to her?! I needed her. There was no doubt in my mind about that anymore.

I threw myself back onto the bed and squeezed my eyes shut, willing sleep to come again. When I was sleeping there was a clear picture of her in my mind, and I wanted that calm, peaceful feeling back.

But I was unbelievably anxious; sleep would never come. And I was in pain, actual physical pain. I took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm myself and fall back into my slumber. And while my mind raced with images of her, another thought occurred to me…a thought I might actually be able to do something with.

I jumped up off my bed and grabbed the closest shirt, throwing it on in a rush. I sat back down, grabbed at my shoes, and put them on, tying them furiously. I stood and threw open my door, walking hurriedly into the living room.

"No…not at all. He's just…" Billy stopped talking as soon as he saw me, his eyes widening as he stared.

"Jacob, what's wrong with you?" he asked in a slightly panicked voice. I had no idea how I looked, and I didn't care. All I cared about was who was on the other end of the phone he was holding.

"Who are you talking to?" I demanded.

His eyes were still wide as he answered. "I…its Charlie."

"Good, let me talk to him real quick," I said as I took a couple quick strides, grabbing the phone before he even had a chance to answer.

"Hey Charlie," I said in a rushed voice.

"Uh…hey Jake!" he began, a little hesitantly. "How are you?"

By the tone of his voice I was sure he knew exactly how I was, just as I was sure I had been the topic of conversation before I entered the room. "Good. Fine, look, I gotta ask you a couple questions. It might sound kinda weird, but…I just need to know, ok?"

"Ok," he replied slowly.

"Jake, what are you…" Billy finally spoke up.

But I paid him no attention as I interrupted whatever he was going to ask with the beginning of my interrogation. "Have any new families moved to Forks? Specifically one with a teenage daughter?"

I shot a quick glance at Billy, seeing his brow wrinkle in confusion, as I waited impatiently for Charlie's answer.

"Uh…no Jake, no new families," he answered, his voice suspicious.

"You're sure?" I asked as I felt my stomach begin to sink. Why oh why couldn't this just be easy?

"Positive. Can I ask…"

"Have you noticed any teenage girls around that don't belong? That you don't recognize, that don't live here?"

"Why Jake?" he demanded.

"Just…please Charlie!" I said loudly, the desperation in my voice apparent.

It must have been pretty apparent to him too. "No Jacob, I haven't seen anyone like that."

I blew out a loud, frustrated breath. "Any of the families there have visitors that you know of?"

"No…not that I know. But if you could just tell me…"

"Thanks Charlie, gotta go. Here's Billy back," I interrupted, putting the phone back in my dad's hand without looking at him and rushing to the front door.

"Jacob, where are you going? What in the…"

But I was out the door and slamming it behind me before he had a chance to finish. It was Sunday morning, and on Sunday mornings the whole pack could usually be found at Sam's house. There was always kind of an unofficial meeting that turned into a day of eating all of Emily's food and playing sports in the front yard. It was then that I realized I couldn't remember the last of those meetings I had been to.

Someone else had to have seen her. I was betting on one of the pack. This is what I thought to myself as I raced to Sam and Emily's little house, hearing the pack's laughter before I could see them.

As I crossed into the front yard I saw Embry freeze mid laugh, his eyes widening as soon as he saw me. As the other pack members saw his expression they turned one by one to look at me, their expressions, for the most part, mirroring Embry's.

As soon as Sam caught my eye his face creased with worry. I must really be a sight right now; he looked a lot like Billy when he had first seen me this morning.

"What's wrong Jake?" he asked immediately, by my side in a second. "Is everything alright? Is Billy ok?"

"Billy's fine," I answered immediately, watching them all watching me.

Sam looked at me carefully. "And you?" he asked slowly, scrutinizing me.

"Fine, fine. Look, was anyone patrolling yesterday?" I went on quickly.

Everyone began advancing toward me, Embry and Quil standing at my side while the others fanned out in front of me.

"Yep, me and Embry," Paul answered.

I looked up and blew out a big breath of air, the knot in my stomach loosening slightly at the good news. I dropped my head back down and looked to Embry. "Please, _please_ tell me you saw a girl hiking in the forest?"

Embry's brow wrinkled in confusion. "A girl. No. Why?"

Now everyone's expression quickly turned to bewilderment as mine changed to disappointment.

"You're sure? Are you sure you didn't see anyone?" I looked back and forth between Embry and Paul.

"Uh uh," Embry shook his head.

My eyes darted around the rest of the group. "Was anyone else out yesterday, in the forest?"

"I went out for a little bit," Sam spoke up.

"And me and Brady went hiking for a little while," Collin supplied.

"Did any of you see a teenage girl? Hiking, walking…anywhere?"

All of them shook their heads no, watching me carefully.

I looked around the group again. "Did anyone see a girl around here that didn't belong? Anyone?"

They all collectively murmured 'no's' and 'nope's' and shook their heads.

I growled, grabbing my hair in frustration and walking a few yards away, pacing. "This place is the size of a damn thumbtack and no one else saw her?" I hissed, mostly to myself.

"Who the hell is this girl?" Quil asked.

But I didn't answer, instead pacing back and forth rapidly as the knot in the pit of my stomach got tighter and tighter. What had I done? How could I have been so stupid?

"You know, come to think of it," Paul began slowly, "we did see a car we didn't recognize yesterday."

I stopped pacing immediately and turned to him with wide eyes.

"Oh yeah," Embry conceded, looking at me carefully.

"It was this old beat up red SUV."

"You didn't see anyone in it? Did you see the plate? Was it from Washington?"

"What am I, a cop? I wasn't out there writing tickets Jake," Paul scoffed, smiling.

"So you don't remember anything?!" I thundered, balling up my fists.

Paul took an immediate step back, looking at me like I might explode at any moment, which wasn't too far off. I began shaking from head to toe and quickly closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Now would not be the right time to phase.

"Jake!" I heard Emily say excitedly. When I opened my eyes she paused mid step, her expression of concern mirroring Sam's. "Jake…are you ok?" she asked worriedly, coming closer.

I pinched the bridge if my nose with my thumb and forefinger, sighing loudly. I lowered my head and closed my eyes again, and immediately the picture of her sprang to mind. As soon as I saw her, even just the memory, my head cleared a little and I felt slightly calmer.

"Emily, did you see anyone…out of place on the rez yesterday?" I heard Sam ask. I remained still, holding on to the memory instead of looking up.

"Out of place?"

"You know…someone you didn't recognize from here…or Forks."

"A girl," Embry chimed in.

"I don't…oh hey, I did see someone I didn't recognize yesterday," she said slowly.

My head shot up and I walked to her rapidly. "When? Who? What did they look like?"

She looked at me curiously. "Well, I took over a shift at the store yesterday, and a girl came in I had never seen before."

At her words my heart began racing violently. "What did she look like?"

"Ummm, kinda short…her clothes were all soaked through…" She trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"Short brown hair?" I choked out.

"Yeah! It was in a bunch of layers. Why? Do you know her?"

"Is there…any chance…that she paid with a credit card?" I asked anxiously.

Something in my demeanor, my voice, was definitely bothering them. They all looked at me like I was insane.

"No. She just bought a bottle of water…paid in cash. Why Jake?"

I walked away again, thinking I would resume my pacing. But I felt weak, nauseated, like I might be sick, so I collapsed to a sitting position on the ground and put my head in my hands.

"Jake, what's going on?" Sam asked gently, as I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Who is this…girl?"

And right then I decided it didn't matter if they knew. I didn't care about them finding out; I didn't want to keep it from them. I just wanted her. I wanted to find her. I needed to find her.

"I'm an idiot Sam," I mumbled dejectedly, never looking up.

"Tell us what's going on," I heard Embry say from close by.

I looked up, first at Embry, then Quil, and finally Sam. The pain I was feeling was unbelievable, excruciating, and I was sure, by the way he looked back, that he could see that in my eyes.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"She's…my imprint," I practically whispered.


	4. Chapter 4 Explanations

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

Sam just stared at me wide eyed while everyone else spoke at once.

"You imprinted?" Embry asked incredulously.

"What?" Quil practically yelled.

"Oh no," murmured Emily.

"Why didn't you…" began Jared.

"Alright, everyone just…stop," Sam spoke up firmly, looking around the group, his eyes settling on me again. He cleared his throat. "Uh…do you…not want to discuss this in front of everyone?"

I sighed. "Who cares…they'll hear it all later anyway."

Sam just nodded. "What happened?" he asked gently.

I finally stood and began pacing anxiously. "I was wandering around in the forest, and then I sat for awhile. And I heard something, so I went to find out what it was. And it was…it was her, and I imprinted." I kept pacing as I explained, my words coming out rushed. "And I got upset, so I just…took off running. And I stayed in the forest until, I don't know, dark maybe. And then I just went home."

A few of them began murmuring to themselves, but I didn't even pay attention. I was sure I knew the basics of what they would be saying.

Sam just nodded, then looked around. "Ok, look…why don't you guys go home? I'm gonna talk to Jake for a little bit. You don't all need to be here for it."

I stopped pacing and looked at the faces of all the pack members. Most of them had pity in their eyes, the same pity they had looked at me with for so long now. Leah actually looked a little angry and turned away as soon as my eyes met hers.

They began mumbling their goodbye's and walking away, stealing glances back at me as they left. Only Embry, Quil, Emily, and Sam remained.

"Is it alright if we stay?" Quil asked quietly.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Why don't we go inside?" Sam suggested.

"I can make you some breakfast," Emily said comfortingly, wrapping her arm around me and giving me a small smile.

We walked into the house, my head down dejectedly. Emily towed me to the table and pulled out a chair. I sat down, automatically putting my head in my hands. Sam, Embry, and Quil all sat down with me while Emily went to the fridge, pulling out eggs and bacon. She started to make breakfast as the rest of us sat there in silence.

I could feel a steady pounding in my head. It wasn't quite like a headache, but it was just there. Most of the pain I felt was in my chest. Like it was being constricted somehow. Every breath I drew in felt heavy, short somehow. Like I just couldn't bring in enough air.

"Why did you run?" Quil finally asked.

I reached back automatically to wring my hand around my ponytail and let out an exasperated breath. "I was just so…pissed. I couldn't believe it was happening, after everything with Bella. I kept telling myself it was the wrong time and it just couldn't happen and…" I trailed off. "I pretty much felt ok yesterday, and then I woke up this morning and…and I just…it just…hurt. It hurts."

"It's because you can't see her," Sam said softly as he looked over at Emily, whose back was turned to us, standing at the stove. "If you saw her…it wouldn't…hurt like that."

"Sam…it's only been…maybe…not even twenty four hours. It already, it feels…it hurts. How am I supposed to do this?" I pleaded.

Sam looked at me with a grim expression. "I…I don't know. I've never seen anyone…well, who wasn't around their imprint. I don't know what to say, really."

"I mean, we can try to find her though," Quil spoke up. "We can look for her."

"Where would we even start?" said Embry.

"Maybe she's from Forks?" supplied Sam.

I shook my head morosely. "I talked to Charlie this morning. No one new's moved in, he doesn't know of anyone that has visitors…hasn't seen anyone unfamiliar."

"Maybe it's someone he doesn't know about. Or, even if she's not from Forks, we can look somewhere else. She could be from Port Angeles," said Quil encouragingly.

"Or she could be from Olympia, or Tacoma, Seattle…Oregon," Embry went on.

Quil shot him an angry look.

"Quil's right Jake…we can look," said Sam comfortingly.

"You might not be the only one's looking," Emily said as she brought the food over, setting it in the middle of the table. She went to the cupboard to grab plates.

"What do you mean?" asked Embry.

"Well," she went on as she brought the plates over and sat next to Sam, "from the other side's perspective…" She looked at Sam lovingly, then over to me. "You're not the only one it will have an effect on. When Sam imprinted on me…I mean, I was upset and angry, you know, because of the whole Leah thing. But there was other stuff too. I…I needed to look at him, to see him or be near him, even though I was upset about it all. I could feel it physically. Something didn't just change in him…it changed in me too."

"Awww, that's no good," I moaned. "She knows even less about this crap then I do! She'll be feeling this stuff…even pain maybe…and she'll have no idea what the hell it is!" The idea of her being in any kind of pain just made the pain in my chest worse.

Emily gave me a small smile as she dished up a plate and set it in front of me. "But maybe she'll connect what she's feeling with…here, with this place. Maybe she'll notice it happened after she came here, and she'll come back."

I felt a small spark of hope shoot through me as she said this. Was it possible that she would be looking for me? Well, not me, but…whatever was causing a change in her. Would she come back here searching it out? I could only hope.

"But in the meantime we can look for her," said Quil confidently. Of course he would understand better than Embry, who just looked at him, slightly incredulous. Quil had imprinted; Embry hadn't.

We were all silent as we began eating. I put the food in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed, without even really tasting it. Emily's food was always great, but I couldn't pay attention to it today.

"Do you…I mean…" Embry cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "Are you…still thinking about Bella?" he finally asked quietly.

I was amazed to find that I hadn't thought about her since the day before. Hearing her name had absolutely no effect on me. It didn't hurt or sting; I didn't have any angry feelings at just the sound of it.

"No…not at all," I mumbled.

We kept eating for a few minutes until all of us, besides Emily, were finished.

"Jake…you'll find her," Sam said. "Eventually, you'll find her. She's your destiny, it's unavoidable. It may take awhile…but it will happen."

I swallowed hard, afraid my voice would crack. "How…if it…hurts this much now, just after one day, how much will it hurt after…a week? A month...a year…" At the end my voice did crack and I swallowed again. "And what if something happens to her and I'm not there? I…I just…" I trailed off, closing my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. The thought of anything happening to this girl I didn't know was too much to bear. It tore at my already aching chest.

"Try not to think like that," Emily said, reaching over and putting one of her hands over my own. "You have to stay positive if you want to find her. It will happen…you just have to have faith."

She smiled at me. I managed a grim, meager smile in return, then looked down at the tabletop.

"You'll have to tell Billy," Sam said.

"I know," I sighed. "He probably already thinks I'm nuts. I grabbed the phone from him and started interrogating Charlie this morning…didn't even explain anything. I'm surprised he hasn't called around for me yet."

"Well…you haven't spent too much time around here lately," said Quil quietly. "He probably doesn't expect you to be here."

I looked around at everyone; they all avoided my gaze.

"I'm really sorry guys. I guess I haven't really been…a good friend. Or good pack member lately," I mumbled.

"Don't apologize Jake," said Sam. "You've been going through a lot. We knew you'd come around. We just…didn't really expect it to be like this."

"Yeah, me either," I grumbled. "Could the timing seriously have been any worse? I mean, after everything that's happened, I have to imprint _now_?"

"Destiny doesn't really follow a timeline," Emily said, smiling briefly at Sam.

"Guess not," I said. Stupid destiny.

"Well, we can start looking tomorrow, after school. We get out a couple hours earlier than the other schools anyway. We can look around Forks first, then if we don't find her there we can start looking around other places," Quil volunteered.

I smiled slightly. "Thanks guys."

"Where will we look for her?" Embry asked. "I mean, what places?"

"Did she look our age Jake?" questioned Quil.

I nodded. "At least…maybe a little younger. But definitely no older, I'm almost positive."

"So we hang around the schools," said Quil. "Probably the best place to look."

"We're just gonna hang around outside of random schools?" Embry said skeptically. "Might look a little weird."

"Then we'll look weird," I said firmly. "I don't give a damn. I have to find her."

Embry just nodded, while Quil smiled and Sam looked thoughtful.

"What did she look like?" Sam asked. "We'll need to know if we're all going to be looking out for her."

I closed my eyes and let the crystal clear image of her form in my mind. "She's short…really short…about a foot and a half shorter than me. Really pale skin, brown hair, not too dark, but not too light either. It's short, it comes to just above her shoulders, and it's cut into lots of layers around her face and in the back. It's parted far to the side. She's got kind of a narrow face…high cheekbones, a long, narrow nose. Thin lips. She's athletic…really toned. She definitely plays a sport of some kind or something. She was just wearing a black t shirt, jeans, and hiking boots. She looked pretty comfortable in the forest…like she hikes a lot or something."

I kept my eyes closed for a few seconds after I stopped speaking, wanting to hold on to the image of her. I finally opened them to see everyone staring at me.

"You'll find her Jake," Emily said, breaking everyone's silence. "You're meant to."

* * *

I walked in the door a few hours later to find my dad watching a game, looking a little preoccupied.

"Jake!" he exclaimed when I walked in, looking relieved. "Where were you?" he demanded.

"I was at Sam's."

He looked surprised. "Oh. Ok…what was going on this morning? You look terrible. What was all that about with Charlie?"

I sighed and went over to sit on the couch. I folded my hands in front of me, holding them together tightly and staring at them. The room was silent for a minute or so before I finally looked up and met his gaze. "I…imprinted yesterday dad."

He sat back, almost like he had been slapped, his eyes widening. "You…imprinted?" he asked incredulously.

I just nodded.

He shook his head a little. "Who?"

I could feel that painful expression come across my face as he asked the question I really couldn't answer. I could tell he saw it too. "I was wandering around in the forest yesterday. I saw the girl…I imprinted. And then I…ran away." I ducked my head down.

"You…ran away," he stated simply. It wasn't a question.

I nodded, continuing to look at the ground.

"So who was she?" he asked. I could tell he expected it to be someone I would recognize; someone from here. And why shouldn't he? Everyone else had imprinted on one of us; someone from the reservation. If not ours, then the Macah reservation.

"I…don't know. She wasn't from around here. I didn't recognize her. Emily saw her too, in the store…but we don't know who she is."

He looked confused. "You…don't know who she is?" he said, his voice incredulous. "But then…what…" He trailed off, his eyes suddenly lighting up. "That's why…with Charlie…you were trying to see if she was from Forks."

I looked up, nodding.

"But she wasn't."

"Not that Charlie knows," I mumbled.

"Oh Jake," he murmured. "I…what are you going to do?"

I swallowed hard. "I'm going to find her." I tried to sound confident, but my voice wavered. "I…have to find her."

"You ran because of Bella," he stated plainly, once again.

"Yeah."

"And how do you feel now?"

I looked down at me feet. "Like an idiot. Like the biggest idiot in the entire world. Yesterday, when I ran…even when I got home…it seemed like I was doing the right thing."

"And now?" he asked gently.

"I _need_ her," I said desperately. "I need to see her. I need to find her."

"Has it…changed things…with Bella?"

I looked up at him. "I'm not even thinking about her anymore. I wouldn't have even thought it was possible. You know, the guys, they talked to me, saying it was maybe better she didn't pick me…that if one day I imprinted I would leave her. And I always said no, that I loved her too much, that I was supposed to be with her. But it's true. I saw this girl just once, for maybe a minute…and she's all I can think about. If Bella had been with me…I would have left her like she was nothing."

Billy nodded gravely. "Now you know…that you're destiny is not Bella. That it wasn't Bella. Maybe it would have been, if things such as these didn't exist. But they do…so it's not. And now you can move on."

I sighed loudly. "I've already moved on dad. I've already moved on."


	5. Chapter 5 The Search

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- So I know this story is getting off to a slow start, but I'm really intent on capturing what Jacob is going through. So thanks to everyone who's reading, and I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Are you sure that's not her…cause it looks an awful lot like what you…" Embry began, cocking head to the side, admiring the girl.

"I'm pretty sure he'll recognize her when he sees her," Quil scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"It's not her," I said quietly, quickly averting my eyes from the girl in question and scanning the crowd pouring out of the school.

We were in Hoquaim this week. We had spent that first Monday in Forks, just in case Charlie had been wrong and the girl really was from Forks.

But of course it hadn't been that easy. She didn't live in Forks. Billy had even asked Charlie to make sure there weren't any unknown visitors around, and had given him the description of the girl and her car. Billy said that Charlie had looked at him a little funny, but must have seen something in his eyes that kept him from asking too many questions. He just nodded and agreed to keep an eye out.

But he hadn't seen her. We hadn't seen her. No one had. We spent awhile looking around Port Angeles. We got a lot of strange looks just standing around outside of schools, scouring the crowds. It probably didn't help that we were so noticeable; we towered over everyone.

The guys looked at us apprehensively, the girl's appreciatively. Embry kind of reveled in it, all the girls checking him out. Quil and I didn't even look twice at them; and the first time was only to make sure it wasn't her.

Quil had become my ally over the last couple weeks. He knew what I was going through better than anyone. He had imprinted on Claire, and basically had to stand back and do nothing, waiting for her to grow up. He didn't completely understand my pain; after all he could see Claire, could smile at her, ruffle her hair. He could make sure she was alright. But still, he understood better than anyone else did.

The pain had been bad that first day after I imprinted. I had been terrified of it getting worse, hoping that it wouldn't.

But it did. Each day I woke up the pounding in my head seemed a little louder, harder. The pain in my chest was sharper. Every day it had increased. It was hard to get used to. I hadn't thought anything could be as bad as the pain I felt with Bella.

But I was wrong. This was so much worse. Not just the physical pain I felt, but the emotional hell I was in. I was always worrying about her. Wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she was alright. Who she was with. A million questions tumbled through my mind every single moment.

I didn't even understand really how it was possible to love someone so much. Especially someone I didn't even know anything about. But I did. I knew I did. It was beyond just needing her. I wanted her. I wanted to love her. I wanted her to love me.

"Did you _see_ that girl?" Embry commented excitedly, his gaze following his object of interest intently.

"She's blonde man, obviously not her…could you pay attention here?" Quil admonished.

Embry rolled his eyes. "Sorry," he muttered, and continued looking over everyone.

My mind continued pouring over everything as I scanned the groups of people for her. My dreams were slowly beginning to change. I think my mind was starting to fill in some of the details I didn't know about her.

The first few nights the dreams were all like the first one. I stood back and watched her while she watched anything that wasn't me. She looked at the sky, the trees, the ground…nothing. But never me.

But about a week into them it suddenly changed. The first night she faced me in the dream my chest had felt like it might burst; she looked at me, never taking her eyes away. It felt so real; it was hard to believe that dreams could really be the way these ones were. Her eyes were brown. In my mind, at least. That was one of those details my mind was filling in. But the color was all wrong for her. They were the deep brown black that I saw every day; in the mirror, on Billy, on the other pack members. They were all wrong for her small features and pale skin.

But I didn't care about that too much. Because we were looking at each other, facing each other. And now each night in the dream I stared at her for awhile until she turned to look at me. Neither of us advanced, or spoke. We just stared at each other.

"Not too many coming out anymore…you want to go inside and look around?" Quil asked, breaking into my thoughts.

"Yeah, let's go," I said, walking toward the school.

We went in, walking through each of the hallways, looking into the classrooms. When we were done with that we went to the cafeteria, then the gym. But there was no sign of her.

I hadn't really expected there to be. I wasn't sure exactly what it would be like if I saw her again. If I were near her. But I was sure there would be something; even if I couldn't really see her, even if I were only remotely near her. I knew there was some kind of connection between us, even if we didn't know each other.

But I had felt nothing. At any of the schools we had been to. So we still searched them out. But I hadn't expected too much at any of them.

Quil sighed loudly next to me as we finished searching. "So nothing, huh?" he asked quietly.

I just shook my head, knowing my face probably showed the same dejected look it had for awhile now.

"Well, I think we've gotten as much out of this school as we're gonna…we can try the next one on the list tomorrow," he said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Yeah…tomorrow," I replied, looking down as we walked to the car.

"You know, we could totally be missing her…she could be absent…or walked by us without us noticing…or she could just be in a totally different state, we don't…"

"Embry!" Quil cut him off harshly. "Would you shut up about all that already!"

Embry glared at him and mumbled something unintelligible under his breath as he climbed into the back seat. I got in the driver's seat while Quil climbed in the passenger side.

The car was silent for awhile as we drove home.

"You're gonna find her Jake," Quil said softly. "You heard Sam and Emily. It's your destiny."

"Yeah…but when? It sucks…every day it sucks more and more. And I just can't…it's hard…I can't imagine what it will be like in another week. Or month. Or…" I stopped, unable to make myself go any further. I didn't want to imagine a few months, or a year going by without seeing her.

"I don't really know what you're going through man. But you just gotta try and stay positive. I don't know if that will help any…but it can't hurt, right?"

I looked over at Quil and gave him a small smile. "Yeah…can't hurt." I looked away and remained silent for a minute. "Thanks for doing this you guys. I know it really sucks…but I'm glad you're helping."

"Not a problem," Quil replied, smiling back.

"I'm not trying to make it seem like I don't want to help Jake," Embry said apologetically from the backseat. "I guess I just don't really understand."

"It's ok. I don't really want you to understand. I'd hate to think of someone else going through this crap."

"Well…we hate seeing you go through it," said Quil quietly.

I smiled again. "Thanks guys."

"No luck yet?" Sam asked, closing the door behind me.

"It's been weeks Sam…weeks!" I said in a frustrated tone as I paced the tiny kitchen. Sam was the only one I ever really complained much to. He would listen quietly and let me vent as much as I needed to. I always appreciated it.

"I know. We knew it would be…difficult," he said, trying to make his tone comforting.

I sighed and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. "I am seriously an idiot…why the hell did I run away," I muttered.

"You're not an idiot Jake…you were going through a lot. Now unfortunately, you're going through more. But you're strong…you'll get through it. And you will find her."

I looked down at my hands for awhile before looking back up at him. "Thanks Sam."

Sam smiled, saying nothing.

We both sat there in silence for a minute as I looked around the room. Their usually tidy home was in disarray, with things strung out all over the place.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright for the wedding next week?" Sam asked worriedly.

I sighed. "_Yes_. I told you…don't worry about that. Just focus on the wedding. I'll be fine. I'm excited." I tried to put some kind of good emotion behind my voice.

Sam eyed me skeptically.

"Really," I stressed. "Besides, I'm the best man…it would be pretty weird if I wasn't there."

Sam finally smiled again. "Yeah…it would be."

"So how's Emily doing?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Stressing, of course. She's so dead set on planning everything herself, and having it all completely perfect. I mean, of course there's not too much to plan…it is a pretty small wedding…but she's still seriously obsessing."

"Must be a woman thing," I sad, grinning. "If it were us planning it, it'd probably be a lot simpler."

"Probably…but I'm sure I'd be terrible at doing it all."

"And you'd probably hate it. Girls seem to like all that crap."

"Oh, I know I'd hate it," Sam grinned, rolling his eyes. "Just looking at her doing it all makes my head hurt."

We were quiet for a few minutes.

"So where to next?" Sam asked quietly.

I sighed heavily. "Olympia. I still can't believe those guys keep going with me. That you've even gone." I motioned in his direction. "We've been to so many…I don't even know how many damn schools. And Olympia! There are a lot there. This just feels kind of hopeless. I feel like I'll feel something when I'm close to her…when I'm getting close to her." I sighed again. "But I haven't felt anything."

"You're probably right…you probably will feel something. I don't need to be in the same room with Emily, or even see her, to feel that she's nearby."

"It really feels like we're not getting anywhere, like I'm not getting anywhere. There are a whole lot of schools. A whole lot of girls. And what if we did miss her…what if we already looked where she is and just didn't catch her?"

"You just have to try and stay positive. You know, maybe this isn't the way you'll find her. But it's something to help until that time comes. The important thing to remember is that you will find her. It will happen."

"I know. I keep trying to think that way…I really do. It's just…"

"I know it's hard," Sam finished quietly. "But you'll get through it."

I smiled grimly. "I know."

I walked back to my house at a slow pace. I didn't find a lot of need to rush lately. But what I saw in front of the house made me rush inside quickly. I threw the door open and looked around wildly.

"She's down at the beach," my dad said grimly, looking at me with a careful expression.

"How long?" I asked.

"Little less than an hour maybe."

I stood there for a minute, thinking, before I squared my shoulders and went to walk outside.

"Are you going to tell her Jake?" Billy asked quietly.

I sighed. "I guess she has a right to know," I mumbled, before walking out and closing the door softly behind me.


	6. Chapter 6 Goodbyes

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

I found Bella standing back a few feet from the edge of the water, looking out absently. She didn't notice me approaching, and I took a few seconds to study her before I said anything.

She looked the same as she always had. Long hair trailing down her back, wearing her usual jeans and t shirt. I couldn't see her face, but I knew it would look just the same as the last time I had seen it.

But there was a difference. And a noticeable one. I felt nothing. My heart wasn't pounding, my hands didn't feel shaky, my breathing didn't quicken. These were all things I had associated with Bella since the first time I had seen her, that day on the beach with her friends from school.

I didn't even feel the anger that had become normal in her presence, the anger that came from her relationship with _him_. It was like all my emotional energy was spent on _her_, and I had none left for Bella. The feeling of relief was slight, and disappeared quickly, replaced once again with my never ending anxiety over my imprint.

I cleared my throat to let her know I was just a few feet away. She spun around quickly, gasping, and lost her balance. I threw my arm out to catch her.

She straightened up and let go of me quickly, blushing like she always did. Even at her touch I felt nothing. It was so strange, having felt so strongly towards her for so long, to now feel nothing.

"I, uh…didn't hear you coming," she stammered, looking down at the ground.

"You never do," I said quietly.

She looked up at me briefly, then turned back to the water. "So how have you been?"

I almost laughed out loud. I envisioned telling her exactly how I had been, then decided to stick with a simpler answer. "Fine." I took a deep breath. "And you?" I asked flatly.

"I've…been good," she mumbled, kicking at the sand. Finally she turned and looked at me full on. "I really thought that we would stay friends Jake," she said firmly.

Something that sounded like a snort escaped my mouth. "No, Bella. You knew, after everything, that we would notstay friends. You married him, for crying out loud. What did you think, we would just hang out like old times? I would come there? Or you'd be coming here? This is the first time you've been here in…a long time." My words seemed like they should have been angry, should have had some kind of conviction behind them…but there was nothing. They came out as devoid of emotion as if we were talking about the weather.

"I've tried calling you," she said pointedly.

"Not since you guys got married."

She sighed. "Well you didn't seem too anxious to talk to me."

"And is that so surprising?"

"You were my best friend! So yeah, even after everything, it's a little surprising."

It was my turn to sigh. "I…couldn't talk to you Bella. What were we going to talk about? Your new life with your vampire family? I knew you were ok, I knew you were still here. Charlie reports to Billy faithfully. Beyond that…what would we have really said to each other?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Maybe we could talk about whatever it is that's up with you."

"Excuse me?"

"Jake, your eyes are bloodshot; you've got dark circles under them. And you just…look different. Just…talk to me. Yell at me if you want. Do something. I…I hate that all of this is affecting you so much." She looked at me, concern etched on her face.

I laughed without even thinking. "All of this," I waved my hand at her, "is not bothering me, ok."

"So is there something else then?" Her voice was gentle. That bugged me. Now I was feeling a little angry. My voice was coming out sharper. I realized this was what I wanted. I wanted to get in an argument. It didn't necessarily have to be with Bella, but she was here now.

But that wasn't fair to her. So I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and struggled to make my voice even. "Why are you really here Bella?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Answer me first."

I folded my arms and looked at her just as stubbornly.

It was a few minutes before she relented. "I'm leaving," she said quietly. "I didn't want that last time in your room to be the last time I saw you." Her eyes went back down to the ground, her toe kicking at the sand again.

"Leaving?"

She just nodded.

"You mean changing, don't you?"

Her eyes met mine. She nodded again.

"Honestly, I thought you'd be gone sooner."

"I've been putting it off longer than I'd intended," she said shakily. "I went and spent some time with my mother. I've been trying to spend a lot of time with Charlie too. And now…now it's time to do it."

Now I felt something. A tug in my chest at the thought of Bella going. Not necessarily because I wouldn't be seeing her anymore. We didn't see each other as it was. But because she was actually going to go and be changed. She wouldn't be human anymore. She wouldn't be Bella anymore.

"You don't have to do it Bella…you don't have to be changed. Ok, so you want to be with Edward…fine, be with him. But can't you stay human?"

She gave me a small smile. "No. I can't Jake. Edward is a vampire. I need to be like him to be with him."

"You've been with him for the last few months and you've been human."

"And what about when I go on aging and he stays the same?" She sighed. "Jake, I've made up my mind already. I love him. Whatever I have to do to be with him…that's what I'll do."

We stared at each other for a few moments before simultaneously dropping our gazes to the ground.

We stood there saying nothing for a long time before I finally spoke.

"I imprinted," I muttered quietly, wondering if she could even here me.

Her answering gasp told me she had. I looked up to meet her wide eyes.

"When?"

"Few weeks ago."

Bella cleared her throat and shoved her hands in her pockets. "Who…who is she?" she asked quietly.

My hands fisted at my sides, but I quickly relaxed them. "I don't know. I ran away."

Her expression was puzzled. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"She's not from around here. I ran when I first imprinted. By the next day…I realized what I had done. But it was too late. Whoever she is, she must have just been here for the day. No one knows who she is."

"Oh Jake. I'm so sorry!" She rushed forward and threw her arms around me. I hugged her back awkwardly.

She pulled back, dropping her arms from around my waist. "Are you ok?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "No…not really."

"What…what are you going to do?"

I sighed. "I've been going around to schools in Washington, seeing if I can find her. So far…nothing. But Sam says it will happen eventually…that it's destiny."

"Why did you run away? I mean…when you imprint, don't you just…love them…automatically?" Her voice caught in her throat and she cleared it quickly.

"I was angry. I never really wanted to imprint…and the timing definitely sucks as it is. I didn't really think about it clearly till the next morning. Then it was too late."

"But you do love her…don't you?"

I took a few steps back. "Yeah…I do."

"Do you think you'll find her?"

"I have to keep believing I will," I said firmly. "If not, I'll go crazy. More crazy than I already am, at least."

She stared at me worriedly. "I wish I knew what to say. I don't think I can really say anything to make you feel better though."

"You can't."

She looked across the water at the setting sun and then in the direction of the house.

"You have to go?" I guessed.

She nodded. "We're having dinner with Charlie tonight…then we're leaving."

"I'm surprised Charlie didn't say anything to Billy."

She ducked her head. "I asked him not to. I wanted to be the one to tell you."

I just nodded.

When she spoke again it was in a choked voice. "You know, of all the things I have to give up…you're one of the hardest. Maybe _the_ hardest. And I haven't even seen you in months." She reached up and wiped a tear away before it could fall down her cheek.

I looked at her intently. "It's hard to believe I won't ever see you again."

She smiled. "You know, I always thought, if I found out you imprinted, I would be really angry. I would feel hurt, or really jealous. Maybe it's just because I haven't seen the girl, or seen you two together. But…I don't really feel that way. I just feel like I really want you to find her. Because I want you to be happy, Jake. You deserve to be really, really happy."

"You could stay Bella," I pleaded out of nowhere. "You could stay here, and you don't have to be changed. We could be friends again. We could try. Edward would understand. Why do you have to give up everything?"

She stepped forward and took my hand. "What would you give up Jake?" She leaned up and kissed me quickly on the cheek. "Be happy," she whispered, before she pulled away and rushed down the path toward the house.

I watched her go, still not believing I would never see her again. Then I turned forward and faced the water, Bella quickly disappearing from my thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7 Pain

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

"Hey there."

I turned to see Emily standing a few feet back, smiling. I smiled back. "Hey Em. You did an awesome job. Everything was beautiful."

She walked up and stood beside me, looking out toward the water. "I'm just happy it's over. I mean, of course it was wonderful…but it was really stressful too. It's nice now, to just know we're married, that we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Yeah…you do look a little less stressed." I grinned at her, and she laughed. Then suddenly she was looking at me carefully, scrutinizing.

"How are you Jake?" she asked softly.

"Oh no you don't. It's your wedding today. We're going to talk about…wedding stuff, and love stuff…happy things." She opened her mouth to speak, but I held up my hand. "You can go right back to analyzing me once today is over. But for now…let's go back to the party."

She stared for just another moment, then smiled, holding out her hand. We walked up the sand to join all the other wedding guests.

Watching Sam and Emily get married had been kind of bittersweet. I was, of course, happy for them. But watching them together on an ordinary day had become difficult…the way they looked at each other, smiled, touched, very softly, but so meaningful at the same time.

It had all begun to take on a whole different quality, now that I knew exactly how intense their feelings for each other were. It made my desperation to find _her_ seize me that much more, made the unbearable ache in my chest grow stronger.

I knew I needed to stay strong. I needed to keep telling myself I would find her, it would happen. But as each day turned to the next, I questioned more and more…just how much strength would this take? And how much did I have left?

* * *

The way that time passed was hard to explain. It began to bleed together, in a way, kind of like when it's passing much too fast. But, even though it bled together, it seemed to be going excruciatingly slowly at the same time. Sometimes it felt surreal, while other times it felt too real to comprehend.

But there was one thing that never changed. Every day hurt. The vice grip on my chest never loosened, my heart rate always seemed to be a little quicker than it should, my hands a little shaky. This was a constant thing. And not something I ever got used to.

But I dealt with it every day. I tried to repeat the mantra in my head. That I would find her, it would happen, it was meant to be.

But May was here, and she was not. We had searched endless schools, seen endless faces…but not hers. Graduation was just days away. I could feel the excitement in the air, all of the other kids ecstatic that we were finally done.

Of course I was happy too. But every other emotion I felt, besides what I felt for _her_, was always sort of on the back burner. There, but definitely not on the forefront, and much less noticeable.

"Jake?"

I was pulled from my thoughts by Billy. "Yeah?"

"You're going tonight, aren't you?"

The bonfire on the beach. It had almost slipped my mind. I hadn't gone to the prom, but I'd promised the guys I would at least make an appearance at the party.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah. I'm going." I stretched out my legs briefly, then stood, heading for the door. I could feel Billy's careful, concerned glance on me, like I always could.

I grinned at him. "I'm fine dad. I'll see you later."

He smiled at me, hesitantly, and raised his hand in goodbye.

Parties like these always drew more than just the intended kids from the dance, so when I got there it was no surprise to see many people crowded around, talking, laughing, eating. As soon as Quil and Embry saw me, they darted over.

"Jake, you're here!" Quil said happily, slapping my back.

"I said I would be," I told him with a smile.

"Man, finally, only a few more days of school, and then we're free!" Embry remarked.

"Free to do what?" Quil teased, looking at Embry skeptically.

"Uhh, sleep in, for one thing," Embry replied, as if it were the most obvious answer.

We all laughed. "Let's go get a drink," Quil suggested, and began leading the way toward the table that held an endless amount of soda and chips. We each took a soda, drinking for a few minutes, saying nothing.

"It was pretty nice Jake, you should have gone," Quil finally spoke up.

"Nah…not really my thing."

"Hey, I went without a date too."

"And I might as well have, for all the time we spent together," Embry joined in the conversation.

"I think that was more your fault than hers, man," Quil chuckled.

Embry shrugged. "Well, we both needed dates…whatever."

I listened to them banter back and forth, listened to a few of the other conversations around me. Most of them centered around graduation parties, family coming, college plans.

"Hey guys." Sam walked up to us, hand in hand with Emily.

"Oh, look how handsome you two are!" Emily looked at Quil and Embry, smiling brightly.

"Ooohh, that reminds me, I'm gonna go take this coat off…see ya in a bit." Embry walked toward another table piled with coats and ties, loosening his on the way.

Emily shook her head, laughing. "You're handsome too Jake," she said with a wink. "But I figured I'd better compliment the guy's suits…maybe they might wear them again sometime."

"Yeah, I don't think so," Quil scoffed. "I think I'll follow Embry's lead."

"So you didn't go Jake?" Emily asked.

I eyed her skeptically. "Of course not."

She held her hands up, as if in surrender. "Just asking, just asking."

"Did you manage to take a look at those parts Jake?" Sam asked, changing the subject.

It was then, when we were talking about engine parts, that I first felt it. A kind of stab in my chest. A very abrupt, sharp pain. I immediately stopped talking, reaching up.

"You ok?" Sam asked. Emily looked at me, concern in her eyes.

"Uh…yeah. I just had a little pain." But as the night went on, it happened a few more times. Finally, Emily suggested I go home and get some sleep. I agreed, saying my goodbye's, and drove home quickly.

The small, sharp pains continued on and off. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripping off my clothes and stepping into the hot, soothing water. I stayed in longer than usual, letting the water pound into my chest, hoping it would make whatever was happening stop.

As soon as I got to my room I collapsed onto the bed, face first. I didn't even bother throwing the comforter over myself; I stayed plenty warm on my own. I closed my eyes, welcoming the sleep that I hoped would overtake me soon.

Sleep was the best part of my day, and had been for awhile. Because when I slept _she _was always, unfailingly there. I slept too much; more than I should. There were some mornings I wouldn't even get up to go to school; I just forced myself back into sleep.

My dreams had pretty much been the same for months now. At first I just looked at her; then she would eventually look back at me. I would approach her, usually she would smile. Sometimes we would just stand there, staring at each other, the ground, the sky, then each other again. A lot of the time lately we would walk through the forest.

We never, ever spoke. I figured that was because I didn't know what her voice sounded like. My mind had filled in her eye color, and a few other minute details; but never the sound of her voice. That was something that just could not be substituted.

I lay there, waiting for the sleep to take over, welcoming it the way I always did. The pain continued to hit now and then, until I fell into unconsciousness.

My dream started out the same way it always did. I watched her, like the first time I'd seen her. She was walking through the forest. But instead of stopping, the way she usually did, she kept walking, and I kept following, parallel to her.

I don't know how long of a walk it was, but it seemed to go on for a long time. When she finally did stop, I tried to walk toward her. But my feet felt heavy, like they couldn't move. No matter how hard I struggled, I couldn't get to her.

She still faced forward, her hair covering the side of her face I could see. She made no move, and I wasn't sure if she was having the same problem I was.

An electric charge began to fill the air, barely noticeable at first, but picking up in intensity as the minutes ticked by. Soon the charge became crushing, pushing down on my chest horribly and making it hard to breathe. And suddenly I was very, very scared. Not for me, but for her.

Something was wrong, I knew it. I tried again to move toward her, but still nothing. I struggled harder and harder, but nothing happened.

Finally I did the only thing I could. I called out to her. The sound I made was not recognizable; my lips seemed to be forming a word, a name maybe, but my ears did not recognize whatever it was. Nothing happened. I called out again.

And then she turned slowly, terribly slowly, to face me. A single tear fell down her cheek. And a loud, deafening, shrieking scream filled the air.


	8. Chapter 8 Familiar

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- It's been a long time since I've gotten to write two chapters in one night! Of course, I probably won't be as excited when I have to wake up in 4 hours...oh well. I hope you guys enjoy! And for those of you who have read Half Breed Diaries...I expect there will be a few familiar things in this chapter...lol.**

* * *

Every day I woke up, my mind recited how long it had been. It was like a countdown; except the number went up. So after dreaming of her, it told me the exact amount of time that had passed since I'd seen her.

Four years, twenty one days. I looked over at the clock. Seven thirty am. My mind quickly amended the time.

Four years, twenty days, seventeen hours. That was how much time had passed since I'd imprinted.

I sat up in bed, running my hands harshly over my face. The next memory that always assaulted me hit full force.

Her screaming. Me waking up. The first thing I did was look over at the clock. Eleven fourteen pm.

Then I had jumped out of bed frantically, looking around as if there were something I could do. The pain in my chest was unbelievable, and I clutched at it tightly, taking in shallow gasps of air.

I ran out of my room frantically, going outside, hoping the fresh air would help me to breathe. I gasped, over and over, but it seemed my lungs just would not fill with air. It was a few minutes before I realized tears were streaming down my face. And then all I could see was _her_, the single tear sliding down her cheek, the heart shattering scream that escaped her lips.

And the pain just racked through my body. And I knew. I knew something was happening to her. Something I had no power to stop. It made the pain worse; knowing whatever was happening was my fault, because I was stupid enough to run away from her, that I wasn't there protecting her.

I got up out of bed, making my way to the bathroom, trying to push the memory out of my mind. It didn't work; it never did, and I resigned myself to that fact, picturing her screaming face as I splashed cold water over mine.

So much had changed since then. We had done a few more searches for her after that night, but not many. Because I knew what that dream meant.

She was dead. The pain, the agony I had seen in her face, the pain and agony I had felt upon awakening; she had died, and whatever had done it didn't matter as much as the fact that it was my fault.

I hadn't been there to protect her. I should have been there, should have never run away. But I did. And now she was gone. I still dreamt of her every night, still pictured her face almost every minute of every day. But I had resigned myself to the fact that she was gone.

I walked out to the tiny kitchen and pulled out the orange juice, drinking straight from the carton. And I reflected, like I did so often, on all the changes that had taken place.

Our graduation was a few days after that; after the dream, after what I called her death. My sister Rachel had come down from Seattle to visit. And Embry imprinted on her. She was a little incredulous as to everything we explained to her, but it didn't take long for her to adjust. The imprinting threw her for a loop, but soon she was over that too.

Her and Embry had been together ever since. He left with her when she went back to school. Now they were married.

Emily and Sam had had their son just over a year ago. They moved into a bigger house, which is why I sat here, in their old one.

Sam, Seth, Quil, and I owned a garage that was actually doing very well. Not only with the people on the reservation, but with most of the people in Forks, as well as some of the other surrounding towns.

So many things in my life were going well. I imagined, if she were there, you could almost call it perfect. But she wasn't, and that tugged at me every minute. Sometimes I tried to imagine she was still alive, just so the pain would be a little less, so I could hold onto some tiny sliver of hope that one day I would see her again.

I went back to the bedroom, threw on some jeans and a t shirt, and grabbed a bagel on my way out the door.

The drive to work only took a few minutes since it was on the reservation. I shoved the last piece of bagel in my mouth as I got out of the car. Sam was just about to walk in the door.

"Hey Jake."

"Morning."

"You alright?" He eyed me carefully. I got this question on a regular basis.

"Yep."

"Well, Rachel called Emily last night. She's been trying to get a hold of you."

I let the phone ring a lot. I could always detect the hint of pity in people's voices, even now after so much time had passed. I couldn't stand hearing it day after day.

"I must have missed her call."

Sam opened the door and we walked in.

"Seth?" We heard Quil call from the office.

"Nope…he's not here yet."

"Damnit…I need the keys to Mr. Francis' car." We walked in the tiny office to see Quil rifling through the drawers.

"They're not on the board?" I asked, turning to look back at the pegs.

"No, and he's here, and he wants his damn car! Stupid Seth, can't…"

"I hear my fan club calling," Seth joked loudly as he walked in the front door.

"Get in here! Where are the keys to the Saturn?"

He appeared in the doorway, looking behind Quil briefly, then folded his arms over his chest, smiling. "Did you, uhh, check on the board?"

Quil's face turned angry. "Yes, Seth, I did check in the place they are _actually _supposed to be. Unfortunately, they're not there. Where are the keys?"

Seth sauntered behind the desk, and slowly plucked a set of keys off one of the pegs. "These keys?" he asked innocently.

Quil looked at them, scowling. "Shut up," he muttered, grabbing them and hurrying out the door.

The three of us burst out laughing.

"What is with him?" Seth asked when they quieted down.

"Claire and her family are out of town. He hasn't seen her in a couple days," Sam explained. They both glanced briefly at me, then quickly away, with that same pity that was always present.

"Didn't you want to talk to the Saturn guy about his brakes, Jake?" Seth asked.

"Oh, crap. Yeah." I hurried out of the office and through the front area, back around to the actual garage. Quil was handing a tall man with dark hair a receipt.

"Mr. Francis?"

"Yes?" The man turned to look at me. And all of a sudden I stopped moving. For some unknown reason I felt very strange.

The man's bright green eyes watched me curiously, then looked slightly worried as I made no sound, no movement. But the guy just kept staring at me, scrutinizing me, and I stared right back.

Finally the man shook his head, giving me a small smile. "I'm…sorry. You look…well, maybe a little familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

I racked my brain trying to figure out where I might know him from. I couldn't think of anything, yet the man was strangely familiar. "You look a little familiar…but I can't remember having ever met you. Have you been here before?"

"Nope, first time. I'm sure I'll be coming back though. I keep hearing good things, and it looks like you did a pretty good job with the car."

The car. The reason I had come out here in the first place. "I just wanted to tell you, you're gonna want to have your brakes changed soon."

He frowned. "Well, my wife is here with me now. Could I leave the car and come get it by the end of the day?"

I found myself staring again, trying desperately to figure out why this man was so familiar. "Sure…uh, no problem," I finally answered.

The man handed his keys back to Quil. "Well, great, I'll be back in later then." He turned and began walking away, but stopped. He slowly turned and looked back at me. He stared for a moment, then his eyes narrowed. A curious, then surprised, then finally, slightly frustrated look came over his face.

"Was there…something else?" I asked, still watching him just as closely, still nothing coming to mind as far as where I might know him from.

The man cleared his throat. "Ummm…no…I'm just…well, we must have just seen each other somewhere before. You just seem so…familiar."

I chuckled politely. "I guess we must have."

The man shook his head, as if he were clearing it, then turned and walked out.

"What was that all about?" Quil asked.

"I have no clue. That guy just looked really familiar to me. I must know him from somewhere."

"He owns that deli in Forks," Seth supplied, walking over to us, Sam at his side. "He's got a cute daughter too…Jaqie…she graduated same year as you, but from Forks High."

"Huh." I turned and walked back toward the office.

"So…Emily talked to Rachel last night," Sam said, continuing with our earlier conversation.

"Oh, that's right…I'll have to give her a call today." I picked up a stack of paperwork and started looking through it.

"I'll do you one better…we're gonna go to Seattle and see them."

I looked up to see Sam smiling at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, they're all settled in their new house, and they want us to come visit. All of us." He looked at Quil and Seth. "Rebecca's even going to fly down for a couple days, and we figured we could get everyone together out there, nice little trip."

"All of us? What about the shop, we…"

"Can close it for a few days and we'll be fine," Sam finished, narrowing his eyes at me. "You need this more than anyone. I already promised Rachel that if you won't come willingly, I'll knock you out and drag you down there."

"Yeah, you try that, we'll see how it works out," I scoffed, turning my eyes back to the papers. I'd reached my full height, six foot eight, about three years ago and was considerably bigger than Sam.

"Come on Jake. We'll all be there. We're going to take Billy too."

"We can see Leah," Seth supplied. "She hasn't come to visit in awhile."

"And it's been too long since you, me, and Embry were together," Quil spoke up.

I looked around at their hopeful faces. Sometimes I avoided spending time with them, even my own family, because I could feel them feeling sorry for me a lot of the time. But as I looked at them, a pang of guilt shot through me. They were all my friends, my family, and I should spend more time with them. I didn't want to push them out of my life for my dumb mistakes.

I sighed heavily. "What, we're all supposed to stay at their new house?"

Sam grinned, knowing they had won. "Well, you can sleep outside if you'd prefer."

"Haha."

"I'll probably stay with Leah. I'll have to see if my mom wants to go. Hey, when is this little trip supposed to take place, anyway?"

"We're leaving Thursday," Sam answered.

"Thursday? I don't even know…"

"We'll get the cars done Jake. And we'll just have to tell anyone who comes in that we'll be closed for a few days. They'll live."

I stared at him for a few moments. He stared me down, his eyes narrowing. "Fine," I conceded. "Thursday."


	9. Chapter 9 Destiny, Right

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

The car ride up felt incredibly claustrophobic, and I opened the door as soon as we pulled up to the curb, desperate to stretch my legs. I stretched my whole body upward, my back popping audibly. Sam popped the trunk and took out the wheelchair, while Emily started getting the baby out of the car.

"How is Seth here already?" Billy inquired from his place in the back seat.

"Because Seth drives like a maniac," I supplied, making my way over to his side of the car to help Sam situate him in the chair.

"I thought we were driving plenty fast," he mumbled as we lifted him out of the car.

"Well, fast just isn't fast enough for Seth."

Emily shook her head, making a noise of disapproval. "I'll have to talk to him about that."

"Good luck," I snorted.

As soon as everyone had collected all of their things, we made our way up the short stone pathway to Embry and Rachel's new house. I could hear the noise before we were even close to the door. I sighed loudly.

Sam seemed to read my thoughts. "Go easy on them. They haven't seen you in awhile, and they're just trying to help."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered back. "Doesn't make it any more enjoyable."

After Embry imprinted on Rachel, we had also told Rebecca everything. And, of course, it was inevitable that they find out what happened to me. Their pity was almost the worst of all of them. Maybe because they were female, when so many of the other's were male; maybe because they were family, I wasn't sure. But theirs bothered me more than that of others. I had no doubt that this long weekend would be full of it.

The door was thrown open just as Sam raised his hand to knock. Embry grinned widely, looking all of us over.

"Sam!" He grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, which Sam returned, chuckling. Emily was next, and after greeting Embry was immediately attacked by all the females in the house, anxious to see the baby. Then Billy, followed by me.

Embry hugged me tightly, hanging on for a second longer than normal.

"It's been a long time," he murmured as he pulled away.

"Only a few months," I rolled my eyes, smiling at the same time.

"Yeah, well, that's too damn long for us."

I walked into the front room, the feeling of claustrophobia returning. It was a small room, and there were too many big people in it.

Emily stood across the room to the left, surrounded by Rachel, Rebecca, Leah, and Sue, who were all taking turns touching and cooing at the baby.

Quil and Seth were just walking out of what looked like the kitchen. They spotted us and smiled in greeting.

"We weren't sure you guys were gonna show up, you know, sometime today," Seth teased.

"There's something to be said for obeying traffic laws, Seth," Emily said sternly.

Soon Rachel and Rebecca turned to see me and Billy. Rebecca made a beeline for my father. She rarely got to visit, and she always missed him terribly. Rachel walked up to me, immediately throwing her arms around my waist.

"Hey Rach," I chuckled, wrapping my arms tight around her and lifting her off the ground.

"Would you put me down!" She smacked my back playfully, struggling to plant her feet back on the floor.

"Sorry little sis." I set her down and ruffled her hair. I knew she hated when I called her that.

"I am not your little sister." She stepped back, giving me a mock glowering look, her hands on her hips.

"Hmmm…yeah, you're right…tiny might be a better word." I grinned at her, and she punched me in the arm.

"Hey, I don't need you making fun of my size the whole trip._ This_ one's got that covered." She hooked her thumb back at Embry, who proceeded to wrap his arms around her waist, grinning.

I turned away immediately, trying to tell myself that it was because she was my sister, not that I was just uncomfortable with affection in general.

Rebecca said a few more words to my dad, then came over to me.

"Jake," she said, her voice and face both serious.

"Becca," I replied, just as serious.

She broke into a grin, and gave me a big hug. I lifted her off the floor just as I had Rachel, but she just laughed, waiting for me to set her down on my own. While I had always been pretty close to the both of them, Rebecca and I had always been the closest.

"How are you?" she asked me quietly after I'd set her down.

"I'm good. Not much interesting going on."

She looked at me carefully, then nodded. Becca always kind of understood that I didn't want to talk.

The rest of the night was pretty chaotic, with everyone catching up with each other, trying to get themselves situated. Rebecca and my dad would share the one guest room, with Sam, Emily, and the baby in the other, while Quil and I would stay on the couches. Seth and Sue were going back to Leah's place.

And so the first night ended with most of the house asleep, while Quil, Embry and I sat in the front room. We each nursed a beer, and had been quiet for awhile before the conversation took the turn I knew it inevitably would.

"How are you really Jake?" Embry asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm fine," I sighed. This answer rarely pacified anyone; I knew it would do nothing to satisfy Embry.

"Are you really?" I didn't even bother to answer; no answer I gave him would stop his line of questioning.

"No searching?" he probed.

I looked at him now, narrowing my eyes. "I haven't searched in a long time; you know that."

He nodded slowly. "You know, I know I've pretty much said this a million times…but you don't know if that dream was…you know…what you think it was."

"You don't know…you didn't see. And you didn't feel it. I know…"

"All you know is you had a bad dream," Quil interrupted quietly. He never really attacked me like this unless the three of us were together.

I shook my head impatiently. "I can't make you two understand. There's no point in trying. I know; I've been trying for years."

"And now you've given up, and you're just…you're different Jake. I didn't understand, when it first happened, you know. Not until Rachel happened. But…now I do. And I don't understand why you're just giving up. You can't. It's not good for you. It's obvious."

I just scowled, looking away and taking a long sip of my beer.

"Hope is a good thing Jake. You should hold onto it."

My first instinct was to yell at them; tell them to leave me alone, to go away, to shut up. But I didn't want to blow up at them over this. That was the last thing I wanted. In the beginning, when I'd first had the dream, I had alienated everyone. I had pushed every single person in my life away, wanting to grieve all on my own.

And not only had it hurt me more, if that were possible; but it had hurt them. And I didn't want them to hurt; I didn't want them to have to suffer for what I'd done. So instead I took a deep breath, trying my best to reply calmly.

"It's…nice that you guys are concerned. Really, it is. But the bottom line is that…she's gone." They looked like they were about to argue, but I held my hand up to stop them. "I know what I know; I can't explain it to you. But, even if she weren't…" I didn't let my words ring true in my head; I tried never to let that kind of hope insert itself. "Even if she weren't, how in the hell would I find her? She could be here, or Alaska, or Ethiopia. Anywhere." I knew where she really was, even if they didn't. Or rather, I knew where she wasn't.

"But don't you think you might feel better if you _could_ hope, if you kept looking…even if the chances weren't that great, if you just did _something_?" Embry stressed.

I sighed. "I _am_ doing something. I'm going on with my life. That's all I can do."

Quil snorted. "You're going on all right, like a robot. All you do is work. We have to drag you anywhere that isn't the underside of a car."

"Well what the hell do you expect me to do? Move on?" The noise that followed could only be described as a sound of disgust. "There is nowhere to go, there's nothing to do. She's gone, but I still dream about her every night. I can never have her, but I still love her. So, please, tell me, what is it that I'm supposed to do?" My voice had gone up several octaves at this point, and I was half raised from my seat.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. The guys just stared at me, saying nothing. I sat back down in my seat and rubbed my hands over my face. "Look, I'm doing what I can right now. Maybe that will change one day. And, on the off chance that she…isn't…you know…" I never said the actual word; I was sure I'd never spoken it aloud. "Then, according to Sam," I restrained myself from rolling my eyes, "I'll find her, or she'll find me. Destiny, right? So, maybe we'll just be walking along one day, and we'll…just…bump into each other." I knew that would never happen, but I was willing to say almost anything to get this conversation done and over with.

"Do you really believe that?" Embry asked seriously.

I sighed again. "Anything's possible. Destiny, right?"


	10. Chapter 10 Change

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- So, I had this chapter written out, and then, to make a long story short, saw a bug on my leg, jumped up screaming, my laptop fell to the floor, turned off, and all of my hard work vanished. I am absurdly frightened of insects. So I had to do it all over again. I'm pretty sure the lost version was better, but, I hope you still enjoy. Thanks to everyone for reading! Leave me some reviews, tell me what you think.**

* * *

"This is a terrible way to spend the day…are you _trying_ to torture us for some reason?" Seth groaned as he, Leah, and Sue joined us.

"We want to spend the day together…this is a good way to pass the time," Rachel argued for the fourth or fifth time.

"Don't worry Seth, you'll spend the whole day checking out girls anyway…if we were stuck inside, who would you look at?" Leah rolled her eyes dramatically.

Seth mulled this over while Emily finished getting the baby situated in his stroller. The girls had decided today would be spent walking around the mall. Of course we, as in all of the males, had immediately suggested we be left behind; but Rachel wouldn't hear it. She insisted we should all be together, and no amount of complaining had swayed her.

I hadn't complained quite as much as the others. Not because I had any desire to be here shopping with a bunch of girls; the idea was just as mind numbing to me as it was to the rest of the guys. No, my mind was just otherwise occupied.

Last night, like so many nights for so long that I couldn't remember it having ever been any different, I had dreamt of her.

The dream started the same as all the others. I walked to the line of trees. She stood in the clearing, looking up at the sky. Eventually I walked over to her. After a few minutes of standing motionless, she looked at me and smiled.

Then we started walking through the forest, side by side. We often did this too. She looked forward, while my gaze alternated from the forest floor to her, then back. There was a soft mist in the air, most of the rain trapped up above in the canopy of trees. And then she stopped. I halted just a few steps from her.

This was where the dream changed. She folded herself gracefully to the ground, sitting Indian style. I looked at her curiously, but she never met my gaze. She picked up a twig and began doodling in the dirt.

Finally I sat down next to her, looking down. She didn't draw anything specific, just lines, squiggles, random shapes. I looked at her face. She was frowning; not as if she were sad, but like she was concentrating very hard. Her eyes never left the ground in front of her.

Then the scene changed. Not the way it would in real time, but very abruptly, as if the dream had suddenly been put in fast forward. The hazy gray light that surrounded us turned to a dazzling jade, and the forest looked as it did on the rare occasions the bright sun made an appearance. I looked up and, through the few spaces I could find, saw brilliant yellow. I cocked my head to the side, wondering how the weather had changed so fast.

The rest happened very, very quickly. I looked at her, expecting that she would be surveying the quick change too. But she was still looking down, drawing. I looked back down at the ground. But instead of random squiggles there were letters, carved deep into the soil.

**Not much further**

And then I felt her hand rest lightly on my cheek. Electricity jolted through me. It burned shockingly where she touched. I gasped as I looked up. But I never even saw her expression.

That was when I woke up. A loud thud reverberated as I hit the ground. My breath came in gasps, sweat rolling down my forehead.

My first thought was, how did I fall out of bed. But it didn't take long for me to remember where I was. I had a lot less room to work with on Embry's couch.

Quil's snoring pulled me from that thought, and I laughed to myself, unsurprised that my loud tumble hadn't interrupted his absurdly deep sleep. Then my brain quickly brought the dream to the forefront. It replayed in my head as I caught my breath and untangled the blanket from my legs. And I had been analyzing it…or attempting to, at least…ever since.

We walked toward the entrance, Rachel, Rebecca, and Leah up ahead, Sue and Billy talking animatedly behind them, with Embry, Quil, Seth, Sam and I bringing up the rear.

As soon as we walked in Emily and Rachel made a beeline for the first clothing store they saw. I was pulled briefly from my current thoughts, recalling dismal memories of being forced to tag along with Rachel as a kid; I groaned. I had forgotten how she could shop.

"Just wait," Embry warned in a low voice. "She's got this entire place memorized."

Rebecca, Billy, and Sue followed them in, while the rest of us loitered outside.

"Em never makes me come shopping with her…I hope this isn't going to be a routine thing," Sam complained.

"Lucky you," Embry muttered.

This became a pattern; the girls would go into the stores, while we lingered outside. Billy went in the first few, then joined us, saying he couldn't stand to watch them compare over and over things that looked just the same, to him at least.

And I continued trying to figure out what this new dream meant. I had gone over it so many times. But it made no sense whatsoever. 'Not much further'…not much further where? What about the end, when she touched me. Not once had we ever touched in any way. After endless hours of trying to figure it out, and coming up with nothing, I was beginning to chalk it up to the fact that I was in an unfamiliar place; slowly I was convincing myself that that made some kind of sense.

At one point everyone entered one of the stores but me, Quil, and Sam and Seth.

"What's up Jake?" Sam asked quietly. I had been expecting him to say something; one of them to say something. I had been almost completely silent the whole time.

I cleared my throat. "Nothing. I just…had a weird dream."

Quil's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew that I had the same dream every single night.

"What kinda dream?" Seth probed.

I did not want to try to explain something that even I didn't understand. And I didn't want them trying to analyze it too.

"Well Seth, I dreamt that you got all your cars done on time. But then I looked up at the sky and saw pigs flying…and I understood. That's when I woke up." Seth and I joked about this all the time; I knew it wouldn't hurt his feelings.

Quil and Sam snorted with laughter, while Seth scowled, muttering 'shut up' under his breath and punching me hard on the arm.

But the laughter didn't last long, and soon Quil was eying me skeptically. I saw him open his mouth to speak.

Luckily everyone poured out of the store then, chattering loudly. I walked up and started a conversation with Rebecca, vowing to pay more attention to the group, hoping that would keep him off my back.

We continued through the many stores, the girls accumulating a staggering amount of bags. Seth, true to Leah's word, checked out most of the female population that passed us by. A few of them smiled back at him, and he usually winked. When he did, Embry, Quil, and I would make loud woo-hooing noises, which usually elicited a blush from the girl, and a scowl from Seth.

After a couple hours of this, we started complaining about getting some lunch. The girls agreed, and we began making our way to the food court. Quil, Embry and I started talking about a game we wanted to see. Quil luckily seemed to have forgotten our earlier subject.

That's when I first felt it. Not exactly a pain, but a sort of uncomfortable fluttering in my stomach. It felt almost as if I were going to be sick. I stopped walking, and cocked my head to the side as the strange feeling hit again, trying to figure out what exactly it was.

"You ok?" Sam asked, stopping next to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Uh…" I shook my head to clear it a little. The strange feeling didn't let up. "Yeah…I'm ok. Stomach just feels kinda weird. I'm probably just hungry." I shook my head one more time, then resumed walking.

"You hear that girls…your shopping is making Jake sick. Maybe we ought to stop," Seth said with mock concern.

Rebecca turned to look at me. She raised her eyebrows, but I just shook my head. Everyone else continued walking.

We all ordered our food and sat down at a grouping of tables, quiet discussions going on throughout. I remained silent, eating my food slowly. The feeling came and went, and I was still trying to place what exactly it was.

It didn't really feel like I was sick. The feeling was only slightly sharp, but it couldn't be described as pain, exactly. It felt fluttery, like I was really nervous maybe. But more gripping, like if I actually were in pain. It wasn't a continuous thing throughout the meal, but every now and then it would hit again.

"Feel better?" Rachel asked when we had finished and were making our way to the upper level.

I smiled at her. "Yeah," I lied. "Must have just needed to eat."

We stopped at another store. Sam, Quil, Embry and I stood over to the side of the entrance.

"You're gonna have to sell that new house to cover Rachel's shopping," Quil chuckled, shaking his head.

Embry rolled his eyes. "How many pairs of shoes can one person own? Do you know that girls will buy a pair of shoes just to go with _one outfit_? Just the one! And of course Rach has millions of outfits, and then there's…"

His voice stopped suddenly. He probably didn't stop speaking. But my brain registered nothing else. Because the pain came again, and this time it was so, so much worse.

It wasn't just a fluttering anymore. It felt like a knot in the pit of my stomach, but it was as if it were pulling and tearing at my insides. The pain was sharp, searing. I doubled over, gasping. I closed my eyes. My head started spinning like crazy, making me feel like I would throw up.

"Jake?" I don't know which one of them it was. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, but the floor in front of me spun sickeningly, and I quickly closed them again. My chest burned, and I realized I wasn't breathing. I took a deep gulp of air, bracing myself against my knees.

My stomach was aching, sharp pain mixed with the fluttering mixed with burning. I was sure every bad feeling you could have was now occurring on the inside of me.

Another hand on my back. "Jake, what is it? What's wrong?"

More burning. Another deep breath. I felt beads of sweat forming rapidly across my brow. My hands gripped my knees so tight that I was sure it should be painful, but there was nothing that could overshadow whatever this was. My heart was beating so fast, the sound so loud in my ears.

"Are you ok?" Not one of the guys. This voice was female.


	11. Chapter 11 Not Much Further

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- Well, I hope you have a lot of fun reading this chapter...because I had a lot of fun writing it. This chapter was extrememly visual for me, and I hope I conveyed that well. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Are you ok?" Female voice again. The hands that had rested on my back were now under my arms, supporting my weight.

"Jake? Jake!" Now I recognized the female voice. It was Rachel. I could hear everyone around me, asking questions. I concentrated on breathing. In and out, and then again. For some reason it just wasn't happening right on its own.

My stomach twisted painfully again. One arm came from my knee up around my middle. It felt as if I needed to physically hold myself together. My weight settled heavily on whoever was holding me up.

"Jacob, what is it?" Billy's voice.

I opened my mouth to answer, but instead took a deep breath. Had I stopped breathing again? My lungs burned, so I guessed I had.

"He's gonna pass out," someone said.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were all just talking, and he bent over all of a sudden…"

"He's not standing on his own guys, and he's heavy," someone grunted. I thought it was Seth.

Their words spun dizzily in my head. I just tried to concentrate on breathing correctly. In, out. Over again. My chest ached like I had been running for a very long time. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, my neck.

"Sick," I finally sputtered, having breathed normally for what I figured must have at least been a minute. "Need to…go." I was frightened at how out of breath I sounded.

"Let's get him to those seats over there. He needs to rest before we can do anything." The voices were a little clearer. This was Rebecca.

I felt more arms gripping me, holding me up. I tried my best to put more of my weight on my legs, but they felt like rubber. Every muscle in my body felt like that.

"Jake, we're going to get you somewhere you can sit, ok? Just do the best you can…we'll do most of the work." Sam said this, and I figured it was him who wrapped his arm around my waist just then.

I opened my eyes. The floor swirled around again. I squeezed them shut. If I looked at that for any length of time, I knew I was going to puke.

We began moving then. I tried as best as I could to shuffle my feet in front of me. I wasn't sure how many people had their hands under my arms, their arms around my middle. My left arm still gripped my stomach tightly.

So much pain. What was this? What kind of sickness hit like this? And what kind of sickness caused this much pain? I had only ever once been in more pain than I was now, and half my body had been crushed at the time. But as far as I knew, I was perfectly fine right now. So what the hell was going on?

"Come on Jake," Rebecca's voice murmured quietly in my ear. "You're doing fine. Not much further."

The breath I was currently dragging in caught in my throat. I felt my body stiffen. This caused more of my weight to settle into my legs, but they held it. My eyes opened, but blinked rapidly a few times. When they remained open, the floor wasn't spinning quite as badly as it was before.

"What…did you say?" My voice was barely above a whisper, and filled with horror.

"It's not much further…see there? There's the sitting area," she encouraged.

I was sure I was trying to lift my head rapidly, but it felt like it took forever to rise so I could see in front of me. We were just a few feet away from a grouping of black leather chairs and couches forming a circle. We covered the few feet quickly and I was set in one of the empty chairs. I heard groans and mutterings when they finally released my weight.

I immediately dropped my head between my knees and started taking deep breaths. The knot still clenched tightly in my stomach, but it felt like it had let up a little. My chest still burned, but my breathing was coming easier.

_Not much further. Not much further. Not much further._

My brain recited this as I breathed in and out. It was just a coincidence that she said the exact words from my dream. It had to be. I continued to breathe deeply for a few minutes, until my heartbeat slowed to the best I figured I was going to get it.

"Jacob, are you alright?" Rachel's voice shook with concern.

I took one more deep breath before I raised my head. Everyone stood in front of me, in the middle of the circle of seating accommodations, watching me with worried eyes.

My brain must have been affected by the lack of oxygen. They all looked…different. Slightly different. Their clothes brighter, their eyes more expressive, their faces more animated.

"I'm…sick I think. I don't know what happened." My voice still came out a little breathless. "My stomach is…killing me. And it was hard to breathe there for a minute. But I think…I'm better. Still hurts like hell." I attempted a small smile. No one looked convinced. "Maybe I just need to…go and lie down or something."

"Should we take you to the doctor? Like an urgent care or something?" Rachel fretted.

"You know we can't do that Rach," Embry pointed out quietly.

"Oh…right."

"No…I don't need a doctor anyway. Just…give me a few minutes." I ran my hand absently through my ponytail. "I'll be fine. And stop staring at me like that. Other people are staring."

A few of them eyed me skeptically for a moment. Finally Leah and Sue sat on the couch closest to my chair, watching me warily. Billy wheeled himself closer to me once they had moved.

"Jake?"

"I'm fine dad…really. I just need to rest I'm sure."

The guys mostly leaned on the chair, watching me carefully, as if they were going to have to catch me at any moment. I looked around, watching the other people dart their gazes away quickly as I met their eyes.

Why was everything suddenly so much brighter? We were on the second floor, portions of the roof above this particular area made of glass so the light from outside could filter in; but it was a dull gray, the rain having come and gone throughout the day. There was no reason that everything should seem so much more…colorful

Except that I had deprived my brain of oxygen several times, I told myself again. That must have been it. Luckily things were barely spinning anymore, so I was pretty sure I wasn't going to throw up looking around.

My eyes moved around the circle of comfortable chairs and couches. There were a few wooden tables spread out here and there. Some people sat reading, others eating.

Directly across from me was a family, surrounded by shopping bags. A mother and a father sat on a love seat, a baby boy between them, laughing hysterically as the mother tickled him. The mother laughed too, but the father was focused on the floor in front of them. My gaze trickled down.

My heart stopped. I felt it. It made no movement.

A little girl sat at their feet, facing toward me. Her head was bent down, a frown of concentration on her face. She drew random lines and squiggles on a piece of paper with a brown crayon.

Dirt brown.

My heart restarted, beating frantically. Her blonde head remained firmly in place, never looking up at me, or anything.

A completely different scene. Not the one I had dreamt of. But I had no time to convince myself of this before it happened.

The dull gray light filtering through the glass started to change. I looked up slowly. The clouds were quickly parting above us. The sun peeked through, bathing everything in its bright yellow glow. My gaze immediately fell down, and, without even thinking about it, went back to the little girl. Her head moved slowly, her eyes resting on me for just a moment before they continued up.

A moment was all it took. Her eyes were a bright green. Jade.

Like the color of the forest when the sun made its rare appearance. Like the appearance it had just made.

My gaze flickered to her mother. Bright blonde hair, just like her daughter had.

Was I expecting to see her? No, I couldn't be. I knew in my heart that she was gone. I knew what that dream that night had been trying to tell me. And this girl didn't look like her anyway. She was just playing some strange part in this whole strange scene.

Without thinking I jumped out of my seat, expecting to sway on my feet. But I stood firm.

"Jake!" Rachel exclaimed. "Sit down, you're going to collapse!"

"Jake?" Sam's voice was alarmed. I heard him sniff the air. He must have seen panic on my face. I shook my head, my gaze flying around the mall. We were right in the center of the top floor, people milling around us, darting in between each other, having conversations amongst themselves. I attuned my ears to their voices, listening carefully.

"I'm not spending that much Jane!" a harried looking man said to the woman next to him, her expression pleading.

"We have to find it today, period!" Female voice.

"Ryan, stay close!" Another female voice, frantic. I continued turning in place, trying to take in everything around me at once.

"It has to get done today, no exceptions," an annoyed male voice demanded.

"I want it, I want it!" This one belonged to a little girl.

What was I looking for? I had no idea. What was I listening for? Was I expecting something to be said that would magically explain what was happening?

"Get them out of here," I heard Sam mutter.

"It's not that Sam," I said quickly, never even looking at him, still trying to observe everything I could.

"What is it Jake?" Quil asked.

"My dream. Something…something about my dream…all of it…but different…it's happening…" I knew I was making no kind of sense. I just kept turning in place, listening to people talk, looking at all the faces I could.

Mothers talking to their children. Boyfriends to their girlfriends, wives to their husbands, random people on their cell phones. What was I listening for? What was I expecting to hear?

The knot clenched painfully in my stomach. I ignored it. My heart beat furiously in my chest, the sound pounding through my ears. I listened above it. My muscles shook. And I kept waiting for…what?

"You dropped this."


	12. Chapter 12 Her

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

"You dropped this."

My eyes closed. I took a deep breath, exhaling in a soft sigh.

It was instantaneous. My muscles relaxed. My heart still raced, but it wasn't the same, I could tell. The uncomfortable knot in my stomach was replaced with the feeling of a thousand butterflies frantically beating their wings. I felt like a completely different person right away. The ache in my chest was gone. Not just the one from today, but the one that had been constantly present for so long. Years worth of tension left my body in a single second.

The voice wasn't high. I think maybe I thought it would be. It was low, not masculine, but strong. And quiet.

And hers. I hadn't turned around yet to look. But I didn't need to, to know it was her. No sound, but hers, could be like that to my ears. Like someone were next to me, singing softly in my ear. The sound was soft and smooth, and flowed through me.

I turned slowly. Nothing around me caught my attention. I didn't notice anyone bustling about, didn't hear any more obscure conversations. I think my entire being was just tuning into her at that point, blocking everything else out.

"You dropped this back there."

My eyes found her just as she said this. I was pretty sure that this was what peace felt like. When you got to that place where everything was just so right, the world had fallen into place, and you could leave it right at that moment with no regrets.

She was very much the same, and so different, all at the same time. The man she handed the paper to towered above her, and he was quite a bit shorter than me. Her hair was still in short layers; it was pulled back into small pigtails.

Blue jeans, white shirt with some kind of red pattern across it, tennis shoes, a lot like the first time I had seen her. I was viewing her from the side. Her skin was very pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes; under the one I could currently see, at least, like she hadn't slept enough. A fringe of bangs cut across the side of her forehead that faced me. Her cheekbones were more prominent than the ones that had played through my thoughts every day. I could see she had long, dark lashes. Her chin pointed slightly, giving way to a slender neck. Her collar bone was prominent too, just above the scoop neck of her shirt.

She was thinner. A lot thinner than she had been that day in the forest. She had been muscular then, and she still was now, but it was obvious she had lost quite a bit of mass. Her arm extended to hand him the paper. Her arms were long too; they almost appeared too long for her short frame, and looked painfully thin. The man thanked her, giving her a wide smile. Her lips curved into a tight one in return, and she turned on her heel to walk away.

She turned in my direction, and for a fraction of a second she was facing me. Her eyes were focused on the ground, and soon she was walking away quickly, gracefully, her feet seeming to almost float across the floor.

"Jake? Jacob? Come on, we need to get you home. Jake, are you listening to me?" Rachel's voice broke through. I wasn't sure how long she'd been talking to me. I didn't look at Rachel. My eyes stayed glued to her retreating figure.

"I need car keys. Now. You guys can go. I'm fine now." I spoke very calmly, still watching her. I held out my hand to no one in particular.

"I…what…what is with you?"

"Jacob?" Sam spoke slowly.

She was getting further away. Luckily the walkway was a long, straight line, so I didn't lose sight of her.

"Jake?"

This time it was Embry who spoke. I moved my eyes briefly from her back, focused on him for a moment, and smiled. He looked shocked, like I had never done that before. "Destiny…right? Now someone give me their damn keys."

His eyes widened. "Where?"

"I'm not even going to know if I don't get someone's keys fast!" My eyes left him and searched her out, quickly finding her. Lucky for me, she had stopped at a kiosk and seemed to be looking through some jewelry.

My eyes darted back to Embry. He was quickly pulling his keys from his pocket. He tossed them to me.

"She doesn't need a huge group following her, so don't follow me," I said firmly as I began walking in her direction.

"I'm coming," Quil spoke up, without hesitation. "Two won't be any worse than one would."

I nodded, not even looking at him, as I kept walking forward.

"What is he talking about? What's going on?" I heard Rachel demand.

"Let's go…I'll explain," Embry's voice drifted to me.

"Where?" Quil asked from my side.

"She's at that jewelry kiosk there in front of the shoe store. Blue jeans, white shirt."

"Are…you sure?" he asked, sounding as if he already knew the answer.

I rolled my eyes. "Did you really just ask me that?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah…pretty dumb I guess. Do you…feel ok…are you ok?"

I watched her begin to walk away from the kiosk. We were maybe twenty yards behind her. She walked quickly, purposefully, her head down.

She was here. I was looking at her. It seemed impossible. I had been sure. That dream had been so…definite, in my mind at least. But she was here. My heart thumped in my chest. My breath still came a little quicker than normal.

But I felt lighter than I could ever remember. The saying 'the weight of the world on my shoulders' suddenly made perfect sense; because it literally felt as if this huge weight had been lifted from me.

"I am now," I answered softly as I watched her. She darted in and out of the small groups of people. She was careful not to get too close to anyone. Like being around so many people made her uneasy. This wasn't really an observation; not like most observations I made. I had always been fairly intuitive with people; but this was not intuition. It was simply something I knew. Like she was next to me, telling me herself.

"What do we do now?"

What was I going to do now? I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to walk right up to her. Look into her face, find out the color of her eyes. Touch her cheek. Hug her tightly. I wanted to make sure she was never out of my sight again, hide her behind me and protect her from the world. I wanted to walk up to her and tell her I loved her; that I may not know her name, but I needed to be with her.

I also knew I could not do that. I knew she wouldn't react well. I had no idea how I knew this; I just did. Of course, most people wouldn't react well to something like that from a stranger, but hers would be worse, I somehow just knew.

"Jake?"

I cleared my throat and slowed my walk as she stopped at a storefront, looking at something through the window.

"I…don't know. Right now I guess I just follow her. I don't think that…approaching her would be the best thing."

We had stopped walking now, since she still didn't move, and were pretending to look into the store to our right.

"She's a tiny little thing," he said quietly, peering at her out of the corner of his eye.

I frowned, scrutinizing her very carefully again. The more I appraised her, the thinner she looked. Thinner than she should be, I thought, but still somehow very athletic. "She wasn't that small the first time I saw her. Well, I mean, she was short, but not so skinny."

He nodded. "She is seriously short. You're a good foot and a half taller than her."

I nodded absently, still watching her. I was looking at her from the side again, but the other side this time. The circles under her eyes were etched deep. She was so pale. And her features looked…different. The same, but like she had changed a lot. Of course, it had been years since I'd imprinted, but I still didn't think she should look so different. And she looked young. I wondered how old she actually was.

"How do you feel Jake? I mean…what is it like, you know, having not seen her for so long?"

I took a moment to think before answering. "I feel…complete," I sighed. "I want more than anything to go to her right now. But even if I didn't, even if I never spoke to her, I think I could just die content right now. Just…just knowing…that I was wrong. That she's alive, and that I just get to…look at her." I smiled. "She's beautiful," I murmured softly.

She was beautiful. The bone structure in her face was very delicate, prominent. Her tiny body was lithe and graceful. Her lips were thin, light pink. She wore little, if any makeup, and she definitely didn't need it. Her nose was long, narrow. I wished I could see her eyes. I wanted to know what color they were. I thought maybe brown, but a soft brown, not like they had been in my dreams. Or maybe hazel.

"Why don't you just go talk to her? You don't have to, you know, profess your love or anything. But you've been waiting a long time for this. Go and…ask her the time or…her name…something." His voice was frustrated.

I smiled. He didn't understand that, for the moment, this was plenty. And that somewhere, somehow, I knew that the best thing to do right now was hang back.

Her name. I hadn't even thought of that. I had wondered so many times what her name had been. What her name is, I amended. I had taken to referring to her as if she were gone. But she wasn't. She was right here.

"Don't you want to know her name?" he pressed.

I opened my mouth to answer.

"Calli!"

I watched her turn around. I followed her gaze to see the tall blonde who rushed toward her. The blonde was scowling. She scowled back, and turned around to look back through the window.

The blonde girl reached her quickly and they started having a conversation in hushed voices, both looking annoyed. I didn't even try to listen to what they were saying, I just wanted to enjoy watching her

Calli. I was matching the name to the face. I had never attempted to guess what her name might be. She had lived on in my thoughts as _her_, or_ she_, or _the girl._ Calli fit her perfectly. It sounded to me like how she looked. Dainty, but strong. Feminine. Beautiful.

"Well, that problem's solved," Quil murmured. They started walking, and we followed behind.

"…his number." I caught the end of whatever the blonde was saying.

"Don't want it, don't care," Calli replied, her voice annoyed. Shivers raced through me this time when she spoke.

"Whatever," the other girl chuckled. "You're nuts. I'll call him." She flipped her long hair over her shoulder. She was much taller than Calli, a good five foot eight or nine. She was heavier than Calli too. Not quite big, but not small either.

They started down the escalator. Quil and I waited to make sure there was a good amount of distance between us before we stepped on. There were a few people between us. The girls were silent. Calli suddenly dropped her head into her hand.

"You should go to the doctor," the blonde said reproachfully.

"I don't need to go to a doctor," Calli retorted icily. The blonde mimicked her as she said it, so they were both speaking at the same time.

They stepped off the escalator and walked quickly toward the exit.

I pulled Embry's car keys out of my pocket. "Go out and get the car," I said, holding the keys out to Quil. "I don't want to lose them."

Quil grabbed them without a word and hurried ahead of me. It only took him a few long strides before he was ahead of them, out the long line of glass doors.

The blonde cocked her head to the side and watched Quil with interest. I smiled to myself. Calli didn't seem to be watching at all.

"Did you see him?" the blonde hissed.

"Nope," Calli replied nonchalantly.

They walked through the first set of doors, then the second. Quil must have booked it once he got outside. When I stepped out I could see him, already in the car, coming toward me. The girls stepped off the curb, and soon Quil was pulling up in front of me. I jumped in.

"It's lucky we were parked in the same lot," Quil remarked.

I smiled. "Yeah…lucky." They advanced up the lane that was directly in front of the doors until they reached a beat up red SUV. Calli walked around to the driver side, while the blonde got into the passenger seat, and soon they were pulling out.

"And so now we follow?" Quil asked.

"We follow."


	13. Chapter 13 Hesitant

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- See author's note at end of chapter.**

* * *

"It's a dance studio," Quil said. We stood two doors down, looking toward the glass fronted building Calli and her friend had just walked into. Quil walked closer, peered through the glass for a few moments, then came back to me.

"Come on…there's an area for people to observe…a bunch of people are in there."

I wasn't sure why I was feeling such a need to keep my distance from her, but I was. I had completely conflicting emotions. I felt a physical pull to go to her, and then something else telling me to keep back. It was very unsettling. But I didn't really want to stand out here, where I couldn't see her. So I followed Quil over and through the door.

The sitting area was to our right as we walked in. It was a big carpeted square with folding chairs arranged in no particular order. There were maybe ten people, most of them teenagers, lounging in this area, some sitting in the chairs, some on the floor. Quil and I stayed closer to the door. I saw the blonde Calli had been with in the seating area, turned around in her chair, but I didn't see Calli anywhere. The blonde was talking to a guy behind her and barely glanced at us as we walked in.

Directly in front of the seating area was a large wooden dance floor, surrounded on the other three sides by mirrors. In the back left corner was a break in the mirrors opening to a carpeted hallway. In the middle of the floor, standing in a semi circle facing us, were three boys and three girls, who looked about fifteen or sixteen. A man, maybe twenty five or so, stood in front of them, his back to us, talking to the group of kids quietly.

My eyes searched the room for the second or third time, but I didn't see Calli anywhere. I looked at her friend again briefly, but she was deep in conversation.

"Where is she?" Quil whispered next to me.

I shrugged, looking around again as if she would magically materialize.

"Are you going to talk to her when you see her?"

"I don't know. When it's right, I'll talk to her."

I looked over just in time to see him roll his eyes. "Yeah, because it's not like you've waited four years or anything," he grumbled.

"You're going to have to work on your stalker skills."

I jumped, my head jerking to the side. Calli's friend was just to my right, lounging comfortably against the wall, arms folded across her chest, smiling.

"Uhhh…what?"

Her smile widened. "I saw you watching Calli at the mall." She tipped over slightly to look past me, at Quil. "Him too. Aren't stalkers supposed to be sneaky?" She had light blue eyes and wide features, and she looked amused.

"I'm…I mean we're…not…" I cleared my throat, my discomfort evident.

This just made her smile more. "Now…if it were anyone else, I'd just tell you to grow a pair and ask her out." Her smile faded, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. "But that wouldn't work with Calli anyway…so maybe stalking is the right way to go."

I remained silent, not sure what to say. It was hard to tell whether she was amused or upset now. She stared at me, and I didn't know what else to do but stare back, my expression wary.

Finally she rolled her eyes and smiled. "Relax Andre the giant, I won't bite." She held her hand out. "I'm Shelby."

I looked at her hand for a moment before shaking it, still hesitant. "Jacob. This is Quil." Quil reached over to shake her hand too.

"Man, you guys are hot." She smirked.

Quil and I looked at each other, not sure what to say, and then back at her.

"Uh…thanks?" Quil finally responded

She rolled her eyes again. "I meant your hands. Feels like you're on fire."

I said nothing. She sighed and walked around me to stand in front of Quil. "This one's not much for talk, huh?" she directed at him.

He laughed. "Well, I'd definitely say he's at a loss for words today."

"Yeah, Calli can do that to some people."

I cleared my throat. "Uhhh…where is she anyway?"

She pointed her thumb back at the hallway. "Changing."

"Is she a dancer?" Quil asked.

"Yeah…teaches it too. She'll be out in a couple minutes to start this class."

I nodded. There was an uncomfortable silence. I wasn't sure what I should say. I wanted to ask this girl every question I could think of, but I thought that might be a little weird.

"So…what can you tell us about this Calli girl?" Quil asked, looking at me pointedly.

Shelby smirked. "Calli is…one of a kind." She looked down at her watch. "But I gotta break up this fun fest. I need to get going." She eyed me carefully again. "Look, I get the feeling you're not just gonna walk up to her and start the conversation…and, honestly, that's probably a good thing." She paused, looking as if she were debating something. "The Neptune club, uptown. Calli works there from eight to two. That's where she'll be tonight." Her smile widened. "Me too. I have a good feeling I'll be running into you two later."

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, scrutinized me for another moment, then turned back toward the seating area. "Later John," she called out. The guy she had been talking to raised a hand, looking at us instead of her.

She turned back to us as she opened the door. "Why don't you go take a seat…check out multiple personality Barbie." She grinned, then walked out.

"Well she was definitely…interesting," Quil remarked under his breath when she was gone.

"Didn't learn much from her," I muttered back.

"You didn't ask anything!"

"What was I supposed to do, ask her whole life story? You don't think that might be a little awkward?"

Quil sighed. "Well…at least we know where she'll be later."

"Do you know what that place is?"

He shook his head. "Never heard of it. But I'm sure Embry and Rach will know. Come on…let's sit down."

We walked over to the seating area, heading for the seats furthest back from the floor. I sat, trying to figure out why I felt so strange. Why did I have this overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't talk to her? Like one foot was headed toward her, and one backing away. I tried thinking about everything I had learned from her friend Shelby. She was a dancer…and a dance teacher. And she worked at a club.

What kind of club? What did she do there? And what the hell was multiple personality Barbie supposed to mean?

My body knew she had walked into the room before I even saw her. Like a spidey sense or something, I felt a tingle, and heat. I looked up to see her just coming from the hall onto the dance floor.

My breath caught in my throat, my heart raced. My palms felt sweaty in a matter of seconds. She wore a tight, stretchy pair of black pants and a white tank top, a simple outfit. She looked even smaller now than she had before. She was barefoot, and her hair was down now; it looked almost exactly the same as the day I'd seen her in the forest.

She walked to the radio that sat atop a table against the mirror and looked through the cd's next to it. The man who had been talking to what appeared to be the students walked over to her, placing a hand lightly on her shoulder and bending down to talk to her. She twitched just a little when he touched her.

It was a simple movement, not something that looked intimate exactly. I wanted to rip his throat out. My hands balled up into fists, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Relax Jake," Quil whispered next to me.

"I know, I know," I muttered, opening my eyes just in time to see her nod her head. She placed a cd in the player and turned around to face forward.

I was still too far away to see the color of her eyes, and they never even looked out toward us anyway. She surveyed the group of kids, who began pairing off into couples. A boy and a girl who sat near us stood, making their way to the floor. She walked to the middle; the man walked out with her. The other couple's situated themselves around the two of them. A girl who sat on the floor in the front jumped up and walked over to the cd player. Calli looked around at the students one more time, before turning her attention to the girl near the table, nodding to her.

The girl pressed a button and the couples got ready to dance. That meant, of course, that this guy I already wanted to massacre touched Calli. I ground my teeth together, trying to tell myself this was ridiculous. It didn't make me feel any better.

I knew absolutely nothing about dancing. I was pretty sure this was some kind of Latin dance. It was one of those ones with fast music, where the girls moved their hips like crazy. But I didn't need to know anything to know that she was good.

I was pretty sure I understood now what her friend Shelby had meant about 'multiple personality Barbie'. This was like a whole different person in front of me. Her face came alive. Her body moved in ways that looked impossible. The people around me were completely silent, watching the dancers. I watched only her.

She watched only him. Whoever it was that she danced with. They moved together perfectly. They looked intently into each others eyes. It looked like the two of them had been doing this their whole lives. They suited each other perfectly. I felt like I might be sick.

"Whoa," Quil said quietly. I tore my eyes away from her to see that he was watching her just as intently. "She's…uhhh…pretty good."

I looked back at her. She was amazing. Beyond good. I was sure I'd enjoy watching her a lot more if it weren't for _him_.

The song ended, as well as the dance. The next song soon started though. The other couples began dancing. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for watching him with his hands all over her again. But the two of them broke up and began walking around theother couples, talking to them as they danced, making small corrections, him with the boys, her with the girls.

It seemed that he was a teacher too. After a few minutes of this I breathed a sigh of relief. The entire class went on like this. I watched her intently the whole time. I thought she should be able to feel my eyes on her. But she never looked my way, keeping her attention focused on the dancers.

The class went by pretty quickly. Soon the dancers were breaking up. They began walking over, gathering their things. One of the girls remained on the floor, talking to Calli.

"What now?" Quil murmured.

I looked around the room, finding a clock on the wall. "Well…it's six now. So…I guess we could go back to Embry's, figure out where that place is." The thought of being that far from her, even for just a couple hours, twisted my stomach.

Quil didn't answer, so I turned to look at him. He was just staring at me, wide eyed. He shook his head, scowling, and grabbed my arm. "No way. Let's go."

He stood and started dragging me forward. Before I could even think of resisting, we were out on the floor, headed toward her.

"Quil, I swear…" I tried pulling my arm out of his grip, but he held on tight.

"Excuse me," he said loudly.

She was facing away from us; the girl she had been talking to was just beginning to walk away. She started to turn toward us. It felt as if things were happening in slow motion. I held my breath.

She looked up at Quil first. She was so tiny; she looked even smaller from up close. Under the bright lights she looked even paler, the circles under her eyes almost like bruises. She looked tired; exhausted.

And then, after just a second, she was looking up at me. And there was nothing in the world to describe the way I felt, at that moment, when she was looking right at me. Things around me seemed to become very hazy. I couldn't blink, I couldn't move. There was nothing, in that moment, but her.

I did notice one thing though. She had the brightest, most brilliant green eyes I'd ever seen.


	14. Chapter 14 Chaos

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- Well, I hope those of you that are reading this are enjoying it, because I'm having fun writing it. I love Jacob, he is definitely my favorite character, and I'm in love with Calli after writing about her for so long. This story has been really, really difficult to write the last few chapters though, because I have all of Calli's stuff going through my head, but it's all in Jacob's POV. So, hopefully it's coming out the way I intend it too. Enjoy!**

* * *

If seeing her earlier was utter peace, then this moment could only be described as complete chaos. There was a war being waged in my head, my body. I still felt that overwhelming certainty that keeping my distance was the best thing. Maybe that was my brain speaking.

My brain felt very, very small. Because every other part of me was screaming to reach out to her, touch her, step closer and take her in my arms. I balled up my fists, clenched my teeth…and just kept staring at her.

I felt like I had been dead for a very, very long time. That was the only way to describe it. My entire being was awakening, resurfacing. Every nerve ending was alive, flaring, tingling. My heart was racing. I tried to keep my breathing slow and steady; but I noticed that my lungs, my chest, seemed to expand more. As if I was really, truly breathing for the first time in a long while.

Her expression was difficult to read. I wondered how I appeared to her, holding myself so rigid and tense. Maybe she was a little scared. Her expression was still guarded; she was a guarded person. Just as before, this was something I instinctively knew. But her eyes were wide, like she was taken completely by surprise. Her mouth was open slightly. I watched her carefully, trying to read her.

Shock. That was all I could come up with. Her eyes were full of shock. And maybe fear. No kind of recognition. I think I had been expecting some kind of recognition. Or maybe just hoping for it. I had no idea how the imprinting had affected her, if at all.

"My friend here has a few questions he wants to ask you." Quil's voice sounded far away. I continued to watch Calli. She stared at me for a couple more moments, then blinked a few times. She looked down at herself and quickly took a step back. It was only then that I noticed we had both leaned in slightly toward each other.

I finally turned, but Quil was already walking away, toward the door. I turned to face her again.

All trace of surprise, shock, whatever it was were gone, and her face was just that guarded mask I'd seen most of today. She cleared her throat, and stared up at me for a moment before speaking. "You are really tall," she finally said, just a little bit breathless.

An easy grin spread across my face. It felt foreign. I had been forcing smiles for so long. But this one was completely natural. Not just because of her words, but the way she spoke them. A little out of breath, her voice a little higher than normal. She sounded anxious. I didn't know what her reaction to me was exactly; but I knew she was having one.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." My voice was huskier than usual. I cleared my throat. We continued staring at each other.

"Did you…need something?" Her voice had returned to normal now, very business like. I wasn't sure why, but this just made me smile more. But the smile disappeared quickly. She was looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. And what was I supposed to say to her?

I need to tell you that I love you. I need to make sure you're never out of my sight again. I need to hold you, right now, because my arms have been aching for you for one thousand, four hundred and eighty five days. I need to know every single thing about you.

"I need…to find out about dance classes," I blurted out.

She narrowed her eyes, looking at me skeptically for a moment, then smiled. Not a real smile; it didn't light up her face. But she was definitely amused. "You're a dancer?" she raised an eyebrow, looking me up and down.

Heat coursed through me. I knew she was just taking in my size…height…but it still unnerved me.

"Uhhh…yeah…well…you know, just thought I'd try something new," I managed to sputter out. I was going to kill Quil. I sounded like an idiot.

She crossed her arms over her chest, still eyeing me skeptically. "And what kind of dance are you interested in?"

She looked so tiny, but like she was trying so hard to appear kind of tough. The overwhelming desire to touch her reared up again, and I tightened my fists. Her gaze dropped down to my side, then back up again quickly. "Uhhh…well what kind was that today?"

She chuckled. The accompanying smile still didn't reach her eyes. The sound was beautiful. It made my heart flutter. It made my chest ache. And it made me want to know desperately why she was so damn guarded. "That was the cha cha. A ballroom dance."

"So you're a ballroom dancer?" I didn't really know what I was asking her. I just wanted her to keep talking. I wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

Suddenly her face became a little harder. Not like she had been very open before, but she was definitely more closed off now. Had something I said bothered her? It all seemed harmless.

She took a step back. "I dance ballroom and hip hop, mostly. And that's mostly what I teach. But there are other teacher's here too. So, you know, if you're interested in something like ballet," she smirked here, "I'm sure I could find someone to help you."

I laughed. It still surprised me how unrestrained, how natural it sounded. "No, not ballet."

She raised an eyebrow. "Tap dancing, then?"

"Do you think I would be a good tap dancer?" I grinned.

She looked me up and down again. The same heat roared through me, and I took in a jagged breath, the grin fading. I replaced it quickly.

"I'm trying to imagine you dancing at all, actually. I don't think I've ever seen anyone your height dance." She paused. "Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen anyone your height, period."

"Yeah, one of a kind," I muttered, without thinking.

Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and suddenly she whirled around and headed for the table that held the radio. She began fumbling with the cd's. "Well, there's a bulletin board over by the door that has schedules for group classes. You can sign up for those, or you can call to make an appointment for private lessons."

"Do you teach private lessons?"

Her back stiffened. She stopped shuffling the cd's and turned slowly to face me. "No, I don't," she said coldly. Her eyes didn't match her tone though. They were wary, uncertain almost. "I have to go now." She turned abruptly and started walking toward the back hallway.

"Calli?" A little thrill went through me as I spoke her name out loud.

She stopped in her tracks, and turned again slowly to face me. Her expression was still guarded, but I was unnerving her, I could tell. Pushing against barriers that were there for reasons I didn't know, but that I knew I needed to break.

She didn't say anything, just stared, waiting.

I took a few steps closer. "It was nice meeting you." I gave her a small smile, staring at her intently for a few moments before turning to leave. If I didn't get away from her now I was going to do something that I was pretty sure would be a mistake.

"Wait!" she called out behind me.

My heart stopped. There was something in her voice. Something…desperate. Some kind of longing? I swallowed hard before spinning around to face her.

She looked at me fiercely, her eyes boring into mine. Her expression was determined. But soon she narrowed her eyes, and it changed to surprise. And then, finally, she appeared to be angry. "How do you know my name?" she demanded.

I swallowed hard again and smiled, trying to appear casual. "Lucky guess." Then I turned and walked quickly out the door.

* * *

They were all over me as soon as I walked in the door.

"Is it really her?" Rachel demanded, jumping off the couch and making a beeline for me.

"Did you go after her?"

"How do you feel?"

"Are you ok?"

"Where were you?"

"What did she say?"

"Whoa, whoa people!" Quil yelled, standing in front of me, pushing Rachel and Leah back. "Give him some space, would ya?"

I rolled my eyes, walking around Quil and into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, downing it in a few gulps. My mouth felt unbelievably dry, and I grabbed another one, taking a smaller drink this time.

I finally turned around to look back at everyone. For the most part, all the girls gawked at me. Sam and Embry grinned, while Seth looked wary. My dad looked very solemn as he wheeled himself up to me.

"What happened Jacob?" he asked quietly.

I took a deep breath. "It was her."

An explosion of sound again. Everyone calling questions at me rapid fire.

"Everyone be quiet!" Sam yelled. "He's never going to be able to tell us if you all don't hush," he went on calmly. "So…Jacob? Do you want to tell us what happened?"

I pulled a chair from the kitchen table and sat down. I ran a hand through my hair. "There's not much more to tell then what you saw. I think I probably felt weird because…she was around…or I was going to see her again maybe? I don't know. But…it's her."

"I…can't believe you actually found her," Rebecca breathed.

"Well, I didn't exactly find her. I just kinda…stumbled onto her."

"But what about your dream? You're sure it's her?" Rachel demanded, eyeing me skeptically.

Embry, Sam, and Quil all snorted in unison. Rachel turned to glare at Embry. I smiled. "Yes, Rach, I'm sure. This isn't really the kind of thing you 'aren't sure' about."

"Where did you guys go?" Seth asked.

"Well, we followed her around the mall for a little while, and then to a dance studio. She's a teacher there."

"What did she say?"

"What do you mean, 'what did she say'?"

"I mean, what did she say when you told her?" Rachel retorted in an annoyed tone.

"Sure, sure," I scoffed, laughing. "Because I just went up to this girl and said 'hi, you don't know me, but I saw you four years ago and I've been madly in love with you ever since. Of course, I thought you were dead, so I really didn't ever expect to find you. Please don't run off screaming'." I shook my head. "Then I phased." I laughed again.

Rachel socked me in the arm, but that just made me laugh harder.

"Smart aleck," Leah muttered.

"Did you say anything to her at all?" Emily asked quietly.

Quil snorted. "Yeah, after I dragged him and practically pushed him in front of her."

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way," I scowled.

"You're welcome," he grinned, clapping me on the shoulder.

"That was sarcasm, genius." I swatted his hand away, rolling my eyes. My gaze drifted to Billy. He was watching me, smiling serenely. I smiled back at him.

"Ok, so what do you know?" Sam asked.

I took a deep breath. "Well, let's see…she met up with a friend at the mall, and we talked to her later at the dance studio. She's…interesting. But, uh, she didn't really tell us much…that I understood, anyway. But, she did tell us that she works at someplace called the Neptune Club…I don't know where that is, but I figured you might." I looked at Embry.

He nodded. "Yeah, I've heard of it…never been there though."

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Uhhh…what…kind of club is it?"

Rachel chuckled. "Not that kind Jake. It's just a night club. She's probably a waitress or something."

I exhaled loudly, relieved, and looked over at the clock. "Well, she starts a shift there in a little more than an hour. So…I'm gonna go."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…what is she like though?" Rachel prodded.

"Well…she's really hard to read. Guarded…and very…suspicious, I think."

"And she's a tiny little thing," Quil added. "She looks so young."

"Well, she can't be too young," Leah said.

I looked at her curiously. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Hello, she works at a night club. Which means she has to be at least twenty one."

Twenty one? She definitely didn't look like she was that old. Maybe it was just her size though.

"Huh…I didn't even think of that," Quil mused.

"So, do you know a lot about this club Leah?" Sue asked pointedly.

"Uh…no," Leah answered, squirming. "Anyway, we were talking about this girl."

"You know…she's probably having a really strange reaction to you," Emily spoke up switching the subject.

"Why?" Rachel said. "Shouldn't she be happy? When she sees him? I was when I saw Embry."

Embry wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders, pulling her close, and she looked up at him briefly, smiling, before turning her attention back to me. I was surprised when I didn't feel any discomfort at all seeing them like this.

Emily shook her head. "It doesn't start out like that for everyone Rach. And this time is very…different. She's had years of probably feeling something, and she doesn't even know what it is. Seeing Jacob probably threw her for a loop."

I frowned. "She didn't seem to…you know…recognize me or anything. I guess I'm not sure why she would, but I was kind of…I don't know, expecting it. She did seem like she was frustrated though." I smiled a little at the thought of her, slightly unnerved.

"Maybe she did feel some kind of recognition, but she just has no idea why," Emily said softly. "I can pretty much guarantee that she feels something near you…it's impossible not to." Sam took her hand and squeezed it.

"Do you know her name?" Billy asked.

I looked at him. He still wore that serene, content smile. "Yeah…it's Calli." I felt that little thrill again saying it.

"Calli," he mused, then nodded. "Yeah…Calli."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Well," I sighed. "I'm gonna go tonight…past that, I really don't know. You know how I told you she was really guarded? Well, it's just, like…something I know. And, just like I know that, I know that I have to approach this really carefully. The…need I feel to go to her, it's really strong. But so is the voice telling me I kind of need to keep my distance. So, right now I'm just gonna take it step by step. The next step is going there tonight."

"Yep," Quil grinned. "And we're going with you."


	15. Chapter 15 Encouragement

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- Losing my laptop is honestly like losing a family member. It's making me very sad and driving me totally nuts. I hate that it's taken me so long to post. But finally, here it is! Hopefully it will be great, since I've had the chance to edit it about 700 times before posting. And...three more today! Thanks for sticking with the story guys! I'll try to update again as soon as I can. And, broken computer or not...leave some helpful reviews! They will be a nice treat to read the next time I get to a computer. Thanks guys!**

* * *

Once we were inside a long, dimly lit hallway extended off to the left. The music was loud, even from here. The hall went straight, turned to the right; and then we were in the club.

The lights illuminating the room were tinted blue, except for the ones over the dance floor, which gave off bright silver light. The main floor was a huge square. In front of us a long walkway extended all the way down the room. The dance floor was to the right of the walkway. In the center of the wall, in front of the dance floor, was a raised platform, the back of which held a dj booth. There was a long bar across the back left corner, and a narrow strip of tables along the left wall.

Close to the bar there was a silver spiral staircase. The top floor only extended about three yards out from the walls of the club all around, with a balcony type feeling so that the people above could look down onto the entire club. There were tables and chairs, interspersed with comfortable looking royal blue loveseats. The floors were metallic silver, the blue overhead lights bouncing off of them.

The place was packed. The dance floor was crowded, people dancing shoulder to shoulder. Even more people milled around the place, carrying drinks, talking in loud voices, trying to be heard over the pulsing music.

"This place is a mad house!" Quil yelled from just behind me.

"Tell me about it!" I shouted back, scanning the crowds. I saw a few girls wearing similar looking dresses carrying trays. Some of them wore blue dresses, while others were silver, but the style was the same, fastening around their necks with no sleeves, ending a few inches above their knees.

I kept scanning, my eyes going up to the top level, but I didn't see her anywhere. I walked in a little further.

"Ho-ly cow, what do they feed you boys?" said a loud, familiar voice. I dropped my gaze from the top floor. Shelby stood in front of me, wearing a blue version of the dress I had seen a few times now. She was carrying an empty tray and grinning. "You're all giants!" She peeked around me to look at the others.

Everyone had come but Billy, Sue, and Leah, who had suspiciously started feeling sick just before we left.

"Well, except for the women…you're all just very pretty," she amended, smiling. She turned back to me. "I was sure I'd see you tonight."

I grinned back. "Well, you were right."

"And I'm guessing you didn't come for the great music?" She rolled her eyes.

I winced, listening to the loud hip hop music reverberating through the room. "Not quite."

"Well, lover boy, why don't you introduce me to your pack here?"

My heart stuttered momentarily at her use of the word 'pack', but it was easy to tell by her expression that she was kidding. I turned around to face the others.

"Well, you know Quil." He was directly behind me, and waved. "This is Embry, and my older sister Rachel." They stood next to Quil. "Sam and Emily." Sam came forward, shaking her hand. Emily smiled. "And Seth and Rebecca." They stepped around Sam and Emily so they could be seen. "Everyone…this is Shelby."

"Nice to meet you all. If you want to retain your hearing, or have any kind of decent conversation, I would suggest sitting up there," she pointed to the top floor. "It's not quite so loud."

I cleared my throat, and she looked back at me. "Uhhh…so…where's Calli?" I tried to sound casual, failing miserably.

"Boy, you've got it bad," she rolled her eyes, grinning at the same time. "Relax, she's changing, you'll see her soon."

"Changing?"

She nodded. "Some of the waitresses here are from the dance studio, and Calli's one of 'em. Either the girls or a bunch of the members of the community dance group usually do a couple performances each night, you know, get the crowd going, make more people want to dance, blah blah blah. They should be out in a few minutes. Any of you guys want a drink?"

A few of them started murmuring behind me. "Don't worry," Quil spoke up, "if we want something we'll get it from the bar."

Shelby shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'd better go make the rounds. I'll be back to talk to you later." She eyed me meaningfully, waved, then walked back into the crowd, heading for the narrow strip of tables.

"Well, might as well go get something to drink," Quil said, stepping around me and starting toward the bar. I followed him, the others behind me. We weaved our way through the mass amounts of people. We got to the bar, waiting behind the groups of people ordering drinks.

When it was our turn everyone but Seth and I ordered a drink. Seth scowled at the stamp on his hand marking him as underage. Even after talking to Shelby I continued to search the crowds, until I felt a tug on my arm.

"Come on, let's try to get a table," Rebecca hollered, towing me over to the tables that sat on the main floor. Amazingly we found an empty one and managed to scrounge up a few extra chairs.

"So this place is…interesting," Emily commented once we were seated, looking around with wide eyes.

I could hear the real meaning behind her words. This wasn't the kind of place any of us ever frequented. "I'm surprised Calli even works at a place like this," I said, leaning in toward the center of the table, only having to raise my voice slightly now. "She seemed like she didn't like to be around a lot of people."

"How can you work in a place like this and have a problem with crowds?" Rebecca wondered aloud.

I looked around. This place just didn't look right for the girl I had met today. Was I just reading her completely wrong? It made my skin crawl to think of Calli in the same dress the other waitresses were in, walking around, a room full of drunk guys gawking at her. I wanted to find her and drag her far away from here.

A hand suddenly settled on my shoulder and I jumped, whirling around. Shelby stood behind me, grinning. "You don't look the type to scare so easy."

"Yeah, well…"

"Come on, let's take a little walk." She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, then quickly dropped it and walked off into the crowds. I turned to the table, shrugged at everyone, and followed her. When we got to the walkway she whirled around, looking at me with a serious expression. "You seem like a nice guy Jacob. So I should give you fair warning…Calli's not gonna go for you."

I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hand to stop me. "It's nothing against you…it's her. She doesn't date. Anyone. Lots of guys have tried." She narrowed her eyes. "I've helped a few. But she didn't bite. She never does. I'm really starting to believe she never will. The girl is nuts."

I stared at her, and she stared right back, her expression never changing. I wondered how much I could say to her. She seemed to be an ally in this, one person who might be able to help me. And I was pretty sure I was going to need all the help I could get.

I folded my arms across my chest. "I'm not like all the other guys," I said firmly. "And I'm not going to give up. Whether you believe that or not…I don't know, and really, I guess I don't care. This…is different."

She watched me carefully for a few moments, and then, finally, she smiled. "Yeah…I think you are. You know, something about the way you looked at her today…it was different." She turned and began walking out toward the dance floor. "Plus, you're stubborn as hell," she called over her shoulder. "You're gonna need that."

She stopped at the edge of the floor, and we stood side by side, surveying the dance crowd for a minute. "So, what can you tell me about her?" I said close to her ear, trying to eliminate the need to shout.

"Well," she started. I kept my head bent down near hers so I could hear her better. "I know Calli better than almost anyone, and I can't even tell you much. She's a dance teacher, belongs to the community dance group, and she works here as a waitress…and a dancer…sort of." She grinned. "She hates saying she dances at a club…thinks it sounds sleazy. Anyway, she's pretty much a workaholic. Always doing something. She doesn't have a lot of family…and her group of friends is standing right here next to you."

She shook her head. "She's the most stubborn person I've ever known. I told you she doesn't date…she doesn't even try. Her social life is basically limited to the few times I manage to drag her away. She's guarded, she's withdrawn, she's moody, she's a perfectionist, and she's crazy sarcastic." She paused. "She's my best friend, and I want to see her happy. But I never have before." Her face was now very serious, and a little sad.

"How long have you known her?"

"About four years. We met our senior year. She didn't have any friends then. She pushed everyone away." She grinned. "I just happened to be the one who pushed back hard enough. We've been friends ever since."

"How old is she?" I persisted.

She shook her head, sighing. "She would kill me if she found out I was doing this." She eyed me carefully again. "You better be worth it bud. She's twenty one."

I took a deep breath. "Ok…so…how do I get close to her?"

Shelby laughed. "Good question. If I could answer that maybe I would've had some luck in the past. Calli's been on two dates…two first dates. Never went out with them again, never shows any interest in the male species. You'd think she swung the other way, but she doesn't show interest there either." She took a deep breath. "I can tell you what not to do. Don't do the dumb crap other guys do. Flattery won't work. Don't lie…she'll see right through it. Girl's got a sixth sense or something. And if you even stand a chance…which sorry, but I don't think ya do…you're gonna have to be damn persistent."

I chuckled. "Well, I've been patient for a long time…I've got a bit more in me."

She looked at me curiously. "You better have a lot." She stood on her tip toes, looking toward the platform at the front of the dance floor, then rocked back, looking to me again. "So why Calli? I mean, I know she's cute and all…but you seem pretty…determined. More determined than most."

I turned my eyes away, looking forward at nothing in particular. "Let's just say…I've been waiting for her for awhile."

Shelby didn't answer. After a few moments I turned back to look at her. She stared back, slightly slack jawed, her eyes wide.

Soon her face cleared, and she gave me a small smile. "You have your work cut out for you."

"I'm a hard worker," I answered, smirking.

She threw her head back, laughing. "Now that I believe! You boys definitely eat your spinach down in…" She trailed off expectantly.

"La Push," I supplied. "Indian reservation."

She nodded. "Yeah, I've heard of it."

Just then a loud siren pierced the air. I looked around, alarmed, but most of the other people in the club started cheering. My gaze shifted quickly to Shelby. She smiled wryly at me, grabbing my hand. "Come on, lover boy. Show's about to start." She elbowed her way through the dance floor. The people there had stopped dancing and were backing down the floor, away from the platform.

"Alright boys and girls, you know what time it is!" the dj's voice came through the loudspeaker. "So let's hear it for…your Neptune girls!"

Loud screams erupted throughout the club. A set of lights started flashing across the platform. Then I noticed the door just behind the dj booth. The girls filed out of there one by one. The screams got louder.

There were six girls all together. Calli came out last. They all wore matching outfits, black pants with black and red tops. Most of the other girls had long hair pulled back. Calli's short hair was down, the same as it was at the dance studio.

The other girls waved, playing to the crowd as they walked down the platform. Calli smiled, but it seemed strained. She didn't look comfortable, or too happy to be there. The girls lined up. The screaming continued.

Then the music started. Some loud hip hop stuff. And they began dancing. It was so much easier to watch her this time, now that she wasn't in some other guys' arms. Her face came alive the same way it had today at the dance studio. The screams, the crowd, the other girls, none of them mattered; not to me, or her. It was obvious how much she loved this. The dancing. That's what this was for her. I could read that much from her face.

And she was good. Better than every other girl up there. But I was definitely biased. She looked out into the crowd, not making eye contact with anyone in particular, but still connecting with the audience somehow.

My physical response to her was becoming familiar. Racing heart, shaky muscles, sweaty palms, quickened breath. I wondered how long this would happen each time I looked at her.

The dance ended in what felt like only seconds, and the deafening roar of the crowd pulled me from my thoughts. Calli looked slightly more excited at the end, as the girls waved to the crowd once again. Then just like that they walked back through the door they had come in from. The crowds moved back onto the dance floor as the dj started another song.

I heard Shelby laugh next to me, and turned to look at her. "Yep, you definitely got it bad. Your whole face just fell." She chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't worry. It won't take her long to change and then she'll be out on the floor." She walked off the floor with me trailing behind.

I nodded, looking around. I saw Quil and the others walking away, headed back for the tables. "So what is she doing working at this place anyway? No offense," I added.

"I'm not offended. Me, I love places like this. The noise, the crowds, the excitement. Calli…she can't stand it." She shrugged. "She makes good money, gets to dance. She doesn't make too much teaching at the studio…she works a lot with community groups, so she's gotta make some money somehow. A lot of those teenagers she teaches, she does it for free. A few of the girls from the studio already worked here, and most nights a bunch of people from the dance group come in and perform. So when she was twenty one, they handed her a job. They'd seen her dance before."

I nodded. "What about her family?"

Shelby stopped walking and turned to me, her expression hard. She gave me a tight smile. "That's one question I can't answer, Don Juan. You'll have to ask her that one yourself."

"Shelby…Shelby!" A voice called over the noise. A voice I would now recognize anywhere. Shelby looked over her shoulder.

And there she was. She wore a dress identical to Shelby's, only hers was silver. It hung limply on her frame, making her look even thinner. Her collar bone stuck out. Her legs looked longer than I would have thought, since she was so short, and while they were thin, they were also very strong looking, well defined. She was showing a lot more skin than earlier. I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat, my mouth going dry. My stomach tightened as she got closer.

"Hey babe!" Shelby yelled, turning around to greet her. She looked so small, like a child, as she pushed through the crowd.

"Where's Chris?" she demanded, giving no greeting in reply. "Or David? Have you seen them?"

"Well, I know David is working the front…Frank's not here. I don't know about Chris." She stepped over to the side, and Calli came into full view. She stood on her tip toes in her flat shoes, scanning the crowd. Then she noticed me. She froze in place, still craning, her eyes wide. My heart thudded erratically when she met my gaze.

But soon her surprised look turned into a scowl. She rocked back, looking from me to Shelby, then back to me. "I should have known this guy was a friend of yours." Her eyes turned back to Shelby, and she glared.

Shelby shrugged innocently. "What can I say? I have impeccable taste." She threw an arm around Calli's shoulders. Calli rolled her eyes, then started scanning the crowd again.

"So you two have met?" The innocent tone still colored Shelby's voice.

Calli looked back at me, her eyes narrowed. I grinned back. She rolled her eyes again. "Yeah…we've met. And why are you here?"

This time it was me who shrugged. "Nice place. Thought I'd check it out. And look…I ran into you again." My grin widened.

She scowled. "Yeah, lucky me. Oh no, wait…you're the lucky one today, aren't you? Lucky guess, right?" She stared at me intently, her expression defiant.

"I have definitely been lucky today," I said softly; so softly I wondered if she could hear. She must have. Her expression softened briefly, her eyes still boring into mine. But then she looked away quickly, scanning the crowd yet again.

"So what's up? Spotted troublemakers again?" Shelby asked, looking at me curiously, then at Calli.

Calli eyed me warily, hesitating before answering. Then she turned to Shelby as if I weren't there. "Yeah, but I can't find any of the guys."

Shelby started scanning the crowd along with her. I had no clue what they were talking about. I just continued staring at Calli.

Shelby's eyes fell on me again, and a slow, mischievous smile spread across her face. "Why…that's all right. We've got even better muscle right here." She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

I looked at her in confusion. So did Calli, for a moment, then turned her gaze to me. She just stared, saying nothing, for what felt like an eternity. I had no hope of looking away. Even the angry set of her features didn't matter.

She opened her mouth, looking like she were about to protest something. But she shut it again quickly. "Fine," she finally said grudgingly. "Let's go, tall guy." She grabbed my elbow.

My skin smoldered under her touch. My arm tensed, my breath caught in my throat. I didn't think she had noticed, but she must have. She dropped her hand away, her eyes wide. She took a deep breath. "This way, come on." She turned on her heel and walked quickly away.

My muscles felt muddled as I walked after her. I looked over my shoulder at Shelby. "Go," she mouthed, making shooing motions with her hands.

I turned my head and continued to follow, looking down at her. She moved just as gracefully when she walked as she did when she danced. Her steps were quick and brisk.

"Uhh…where are we going exactly?"

She stopped abruptly, and I had to rock back on my heels to keep from running into her back. "You see that guy over there? Blonde, blue button down shirt, black slacks." I looked in the direction she pointed and saw the guy she was referring to talking angrily to a girl. He held her arm in a tight grasp, his expression furious.

"Yeah, I see him."

She looked up at me. "Walk up to him, grab his arm, tell him you're security and you're escorting him out. Then…escort him out." She glanced at him briefly, then back to me. Every time her eyes met mine, my heart skipped a beat. "Try to be…you know…intimidating. You're ten feet tall, so it shouldn't be a problem. Think you can handle that?"

I cleared my throat. "Why…"

"Look, I don't really have time to explain, so if you don't go throw this guy out, I will." She raised an eyebrow, her expression challenging.

My throat constricted, my fists balling up at my sides before I even thought about it. "No…I'll do it." No way was I sending her near that guy. I walked to him quickly, catching a little of the conversation.

"…lie to me," he growled, followed with a few choice expletives..

"Knock it off Steve," the girl he was holding said, trying to pull her arm free. His grip just tightened.

"I already know…"

"Excuse me sir," I said loudly, interrupting him.

He whirled his scowling face around to me as he opened his mouth to speak, but he shut it quickly once he spotted me. But the scowl soon returned. "What?" he demanded.

I raised my hand to the arm that gripped the girl and easily wrapped my fingers around it. "I'm going to have to escort you out."

"What do you mean 'escort me out'? I haven't even…"

His words cut off, turning into a yelp as I squeezed his arm tightly. He immediately let go of the girl. She pulled away quickly, staring at me wide eyed.

"You can't kick me out of here," he growled, trying to pull his arm away.

I tightened my hold, bringing my face closer to his. "Wanna bet? Now you can come easily, or we can make this really hard. Doesn't bother me. I guarantee I'll come out the better."

I squeezed a little harder, and he winced. He stared at me for a moment, looking like he might continue to argue. "Fine," he gave in, and started to walk. I loosened my hold on his arm, but kept my hand on it, guiding him through the crowd. We soon reached the front door. I held it open for him, and he scowled as he walked through. The bouncer standing outside watched with interest as the guy walked away, turning back to scowl at me one last time.

He turned to look at me. "Care to explain?" He was a big, bald guy, but he still stood quite a few inches shorter than me.

"Calli asked me to escort this guy out."

The bouncer smiled knowingly, shaking his head. "Yeah, that explains it all right. No problem."

I nodded, then walked back inside. As soon as I came around the corner I saw Calli and Shelby. A strange look came across Calli's face. She seemed relieved, but it was mixed with something else…frustration maybe.

"No trouble?" Shelby asked as I reached them.

"Nah. Just gave him a little encouragement, and he cooperated, no problem." I grinned, then looked at Calli. Now her expression was definitely frustrated. She stared intently.

"Uhh…what was that all about anyway?" My eyes never left her.

"Calli has an uncanny ability to spot troublemakers in the club," Shelby answered. "Stops a lot of fights from happening."

I nodded. But I was still staring at Calli. And she was still staring at me. And she was still frustrated. I wanted…no, I needed…to know why, to know what she was thinking.

"Jake!"

Our heads both snapped around at the sound of Rachel's voice. The whole group was converging on us, looking from Calli to me and back to her again.

"Hey guys," I muttered, angry and grateful at the same time that they had interrupted our little moment.

Rachel looked at me pointedly, tilting her head slightly in Calli's direction, trying hard to be inconspicuous.

I rolled my eyes, smiling just a little. "This is Calli everyone." I looked at her briefly, then back to the group, pointing them out one by one. "My sisters Rachel and Rebecca. Embry, Sam, Emily, Quil, and Seth. And you all know Shelby."

Shelby gave them a little wave. But all of their gazes were on Calli. She looked at them each, then back to me. Her eyes were a little wide. She shook her head, as if clearing it. "Nice to meet you all. I have to go," she said in a mechanical voice, turning and almost jogging away.

"Well, she's going to need a little encouragement, isn't she?" I sighed.

"No…she's going to need a lot. And I have the perfect idea," Shelby said, grinning. "Want a job?"


	16. Chapter 16 Patience

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few,belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

* * *

That first night seemed to be the hardest of any of them; except maybe the one when I'd had that horrible dream about her.

I had only seen Calli briefly after she'd walked away from us in the club. After that Shelby had grabbed my hand, pulling me back through a door next to the bar, through a hallway, and back to a small office where a man who looked more like an accountant than a club owner sat, looking through some paperwork behind a big oak desk.

But Shelby introduced him as the owner and, without waiting for either of us to say anything, told him that she had found some perfect new security for the club. He stared at me, and I stared at her, wide eyed. He'd asked what my qualifications were; she told him that I was ten feet tall and scared people away. He appraised me for a moment before nodding, telling her to take me to the office next door and fill out some papers.

And that's how I had quickly become the newest employee of the Neptune Club. I lay on Embry and Rachel's couch, listening to Quil snore and replaying the night's events over and over in my head. Every once in awhile my fists would clench, something I felt I wasn't even controlling. It just seemed to happen on its own.

Yeah, this was definitely the hardest night. Now that I knew where she was, that I knew she was alive, I just wanted to be near her. My muscles shook slightly, beads of sweat forming across my brow.

I wiped the sweat away, annoyed, and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I looked over at the clock to see that it was after three in the morning. I sighed and turned my gaze back to the ceiling, wondering if I would ever get to sleep. I doubted it. I figured I would just be up, night after night, thinking about her, wondering about her.

And then I wondered, if I did ever get to sleep, if the dreams would be any different. Would they follow the same pattern they had for so long, or would there be changes now that I had found her, seen her, spoken to her?

"I'll never find out at this rate," I grumbled to myself, rolling to my side again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Instantly my head was filled with images of her. Staring at me, talking to me. Images of her standing across the room from me at the club, of her dancing. It was like my mind was trying to make up for the fact that I'd had only one image of her to reflect on for so long. It was shooting every image through my head one after another.

But finally I did drift off to sleep, and from the beginning this dream was different.

First of all, it didn't begin in the forest. I was walking along First Beach, wearing nothing but my cut off shorts, the ones I only wore when I phased. I hadn't worn them in a very, very long time. Although the sky was overcast it was really warm.

Soon she came and began to walk along beside me, wearing the dress from the club the night before. Her face, her expression, was completely different. Open, peaceful, no trace of her hardened features or guarded expressions. We walked on in silence for awhile, our bare feet kicking at the warm sand.

"I told you it wasn't much further," she finally said, looking over at me as we walked. The image I'd had of her for so long had morphed into the Calli I now knew, thinner, her facial features more defined, her eyes their brilliant green.

"Yeah," I answered, holding her gaze for a few moments before looking out over the water. "I've waited a long time."

"We," she corrected. "We've waited a long time."

I spoke to this Calli the way I couldn't to the real one. "Have you really been waiting?" I asked, turning back toward her.

She chuckled, shaking her head, her smile lighting up her face. "You already know the answer to that Jacob." Her voice was a perfect match to the real life one, and I felt chills go through me when she spoke my name.

"So what now?" I asked.

She looked out onto the long stretch of beach. It seemed to go on forever, never breaking off into the forest like it did at home. She shrugged beside me. "We could keep walking, I guess. I mean, we have to get somewhere eventually, right?"

"But what if I don't know the way?"

She smiled up at me. "It's ok…I don't know the way either."

We walked in silence for a long time. Finally I reached over to take her hand. It was cold. I stopped walking and looked over at her. The guarded expression was on her face, the one I had seen all day.

"You're so closed off," I murmured. "I don't know how to get in."

"That's because I haven't let you yet."

"Will you?"

She averted her gaze to the ground, kicking at the sand. "We all have something to hide."

I reached out, touching her cheek softly. "You don't have to hide anything from me," I whispered.

She looked up; her eyes were sad now, her expression hard. "I'm just following your lead."

That's when I woke up. Hazy gray light filled the room. I ran my hands over my face and looked over at the clock. It was just before seven am. I sat up and groaned as I stretched. Not only was the couch too small for my big frame, but it wasn't especially comfortable either.

I heard sounds coming from the kitchen as I stood. When I walked in Emily was pouring herself a cup of coffee from the pot.

"Morning Jake," she smiled. "Want some?"

"Sure, thanks," I said in the middle of a huge yawn. She chuckled and pulled a mug down for me, filling it and carrying the sugar with her to the small table.

I sat across from her. She added one spoon of sugar to her coffee, while I took six or seven. She shook her head as she watched me. "I should have given you a cup of sugar Jake. You could've just added a little bit of coffee."

I shrugged. "It's the only way it tastes good," I said right before I took a sip. It did kind of taste like a cup of sugar. "I can't stand this stuff. But with as much sleep as I got last night, I'm sure I'm gonna need it."

"Rough night?" she asked with a sympathetic smile.

I nodded. "But I expected it to be."

She nodded as she took a few sips from her cup. "I'm sure it's hard being apart, now that you've found her."

I sighed. "I don't even know what I'm doing Em. I mean…what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure how I know…but I _do_ know that if I just go and tell her everything…that it won't be good. But does that mean I'm lying to her?" I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"I wish I could tell you what to do," she said softly. "Imprinting is a difficult thing. And your situation, even more so. But honestly, I think you're going about it the best way you can. Trying to get close to her, to get to know her. That's probably the best thing you can do at this point. When the time is right to tell her, you'll know. Don't let anyone tell you any differently."

"Yeah, I guess," I mumbled.

"And besides," she said, grinning, "she's already feeling it."

"What do you mean?"

"She's feeling it. I could see it, last night. I could see her already trying to fight what she's feeling. It must be very confusing, not knowing what she's fighting, but I do agree with you. It seems like telling her now would not be the best idea."

I frowned at her. "How do you know that she feels that way?"

A sad look came over Emily's face. "While my imprinting experience wasn't the same as this, it was still very difficult. The instant Sam imprinted on me I felt something toward him. A pull, a need to be near him. Before I was told about the imprinting…which wasn't long, mind you, maybe only a day…I felt incredibly guilty about it. I knew that he and Leah were together, and I was very ashamed of myself."

She sighed. "And then after I found out I was very angry. I told myself I would not be with him, regardless of this imprint thing. I couldn't do that to Leah. I was angry with myself. But more than that, I was angry with him. I felt like he was somehow responsible. I wanted him to make it all go away. But, as angry as I was with him, those feelings never went away. When I was away from him I felt this incredible sadness. I felt like he had a piece of me with him, like I wasn't completely whole when we were apart. And when I was near him, underneath all that anger, I still felt this kind of peace, this contentment."

"The anger had no chance against the imprint though. And as much as I tried to fight it, it just wasn't possible. What's meant to be is meant to be. And I can see that she's doing the same thing. I can see it in her eyes. She's fighting, but there's a longing there too."

I thought back to the dream, in the beginning when she had been so open with me. I wondered if, somewhere, I knew what Emily was saying was true. I knew I wanted it to be, at least.

Emily reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "It will all work out Jake. It took you two a long time to find each other, but now that you have, I have no doubt you will be together."

I sighed. "Yeah, I think I do know that. I guess I'm just tired of being patient."

She laughed, squeezing my hand again. "You'll be patient for as long as it takes. It will be hard, but you'll get through it. You're strong, and you're determined. We'll take care of things at home. And before you know it…you'll be bringing her home with you."

I smiled. "Bringing her home. I like the sound of that."

* * *

"Just try not to be too obvious," I said as we stood outside the studio doors. Sue, my dad, Embry, and Rachel stood with me, looking through the glass front. Shelby had told me last night about a beginner's ballroom class Calli taught today, just a prelude to get people to sign up for lessons. Embry, Rachel, and I planned on joining in on the class, while my dad and Sue had come to see Calli, being the only ones who hadn't met her.

"She's going to be really suspicious that I'm bringing my whole family with me every time I see her."

"Just go," Rachel complained, opening the door and shoving me through. We walked in to find several other people already there, some sitting down, others standing on the floor, talking. I looked around, but Calli wasn't anywhere in sight.

"There you are," Shelby said as she rose from a chair and walked toward us. "I was starting to think you wouldn't show. Taking dance classes is goin' pretty far, after all."

"I told you, I'm a hard worker," I replied, grinning.

"Yeah yeah yeah. So, did you bring the whole pack again?" She looked past me.

"No," I laughed, "just a few. You remember Embry and Rachel."

"Yeah, nice to see you again."

"You too," Rachel smiled.

"And this is my father Billy, and a family friend, Sue." They both reached out and shook Shelby's hand, exchanging greetings.

"So, are you gonna take this class too?" I asked.

Shelby snorted. "Yeah, right. Me dance. No, no, Calli's the dancer. Me, I just like to watch…maybe interfere a little." Her eyes twinkled as she said this.

I opened my mouth to question her, but just then a voice spoke up.

"Alright everyone, thank you for coming." I turned to see the same man who had been dancing with Calli yesterday standing at the front of the floor, looking out. I studied him more carefully today. He was probably about six feet tall, with dark hair and olive toned skin. He was muscular, but that kind of thin type of muscular. He wore a black pair of slacks and a white dress shirt, rolled up at the sleeves with the first few buttons undone. Like the day before, he was barefoot, and just like the day before, I couldn't stand him. I was sure there was nothing wrong with him as a person, but just remembering him with Calli made my heart race a little, my hands twitch at my sides.

"Now, as you all know," he went on, "this is a beginner's ballroom course. This is a small class we offer at no charge for people to get a feel for ballroom, see if they have a real interest in it. If you do, please feel free to speak with us after the class about signing up for lessons."

Just then Calli walked onto the floor. She looked a lot like she had yesterday, wearing black pants and a white tank top. Today her hair was pulled back from her face. She looked even more exhausted than she had the day before, the dark circles under her eyes somehow deeper. Her mouth was set firmly in a straight line. Exhausted and stressed out.

Although I didn't like the way she appeared, I felt an instant release at seeing her. Like I could really breathe again. I felt my body relax, and I smiled.

The man speaking turned to look at Calli and smiled. She smiled back. I clenched my fists.

"This is Calli," he motioned to her as she took her place next to him. "My name is Adam, and we will be instructing you. Today's class is very short and basic. We will work on the basic fundamentals of beginning ballroom…your frame, and the box step. Those of you planning on dancing, please take the floor. Anyone else, you're free to observe."

A few couples rose from their seats and walked onto the floor. Embry and Rachel followed them hesitantly, while my dad and Sue made their way to the seats, their eyes never leaving Calli. She stared at the wall, seeming preoccupied. I didn't move.

Finally Shelby pushed me forward. "What are you waitin' for, go already," she hissed

"I can't," I whispered back. "I don't have a partner."

She grinned at me. "Oh, don't worry about that. It's all been taken care of."

"What…" But before I could finish she was shoving me toward the floor. I walked forward slowly, my eyes on Calli. But she continued to stare away.

"Now, is anyone here today without a partner?" Adam asked, looking around.

I held my hand up tentatively. He scanned the room, his eyes landing on me. "Just one? Alright then, sir, Calli will partner you." He seemed to smile slightly as he said this.

Calli's eyes finally left the wall, looking at Adam to follow his gaze. Which she did, to me. As soon as she caught sight of me her eyes widened. She looked scared almost. Childlike, vulnerable. But it soon turned into a scowl. She looked behind me. I turned just in time to see Shelby smile and wave at her. Calli turned back to me for just a moment, looking slightly angry, and then focused on Adam.

When she met his gaze he nodded. "Now, Calli and I will show you the basic steps, then you will repeat it. I'll come around to give help, pointers, things like that. Please spread out around the floor, giving yourself room to move around a little." The couples began moving. I stayed close to the edge, watching as Adam and Calli turned to face each other.

"Now, one of the most important things to remember in ballroom dancing is your frame," Adam went on. "You want it to be firm, strong, but you don't want to appear stiff." They both raised their arms, one to each shoulder and the others clasped together. And just like when I had seen her yesterday, Calli seemed to transform into a different person. They stood straight and tall, looking perfectly graceful even though they hadn't moved yet.

"While most of the rest of your body moves while you're dancing, your frame should remain constant. Today we'll show you the box step, which is the basis for almost all ballroom dancing. It's fairly simple. The male will always lead, stepping forward with his left foot, while at the same time the woman steps back with her right." They each took a step. "Then you will both step to the side, men bringing your right foot to the side, women bringing your left." They took another step. "Then you bring the other foot over to the one you have just stepped to the side with, so your feet are once again together. Then the woman will step forward with her left foot as the man steps back with his right." They demonstrated. "And then you will take another step to the side, men to your left, women to your right, bringing that other foot over once again." They stepped again. "And you've just made a box."

He and Calli performed the steps a few more times, then parted. I let out a huge breath, unaware I had even been holding it in the first place.

"Now, Calli and I will walk around to help you get into your frame, and then you can do the steps yourselves."

They walked around to each individual couple, placing their hands for them, showing them how to hold their arms, speaking quietly to them. Calli touched the females very gingerly, and for as short of a time as possible. It was obvious she wasn't very comfortable with the contact. I wondered why she danced if she didn't like touching people.

Soon each couple was positioned. Adam walked over to me, while Calli walked back and disappeared through the hallway.

"Calli will be right with you," he said quietly, looking me up and down before giving me a polite smile. I tried as hard as I could to return it, but it felt more like a grimace than anything. I almost felt bad, disliking him just because he danced with Calli.

"Alright everyone, let's begin!" he called out, walking away from me toward the other couples. They began to move. I watched Embry and Rachel, who had the steps down pretty well, despite the fact that Embry looked immensely uncomfortable.

And then Calli walked back onto the floor. She had a tall pair of black heels on this time that clicked loudly as she came toward me. I swallowed hard, my body tensing and relaxing all at the same time. But I felt much more comfortable now that she was so close to me.

"Hello," I said, smiling. My voice was low and husky, more than usual, and I tried to clear my throat without being too obvious.

She gave me a wry smile in return, stopping a few feet away. "You know, normally when you come to a ballroom class, you bring a partner," she remarked dryly.

I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant even though my heart was racing. "I'm not really too normal."

"Tell me about it," she muttered. "I looked for a pair of stilts back there, but I guess the heels will have to do." I just looked at her questioningly.

She rolled her eyes, sighing. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a good foot and a half shorter than you, tall guy."

"Oh…that," I grinned. "And you know, my name's actually…

"Jacob, I know." I felt that same rush I felt in my dream as she said my name. "Alright, well let's get this done already." She looked down at her feet, her eyes closing briefly, and shook her head slightly. Then she took a deep breath and looked up, stepping closer to me.

"Raise your arms…place your right hand on my shoulder." As she said this her voice shook a little, just barely enough to notice. The way my arm did when I raised it. I moved slowly, placing my hand gently on her shoulder.

The feeling was immediate. A tingle, a sort of electricity that originated where my hand touched her and flowed through my entire body. My breath caught in my throat.

And so did hers. I saw her swallow hard as her features tightened even more. Her body tensed under me, and I almost brought my hand away, she looked so unnerved. But when I went to move it, I couldn't. Now that it was happening, I couldn't not touch her.

She finally took a breath and brought her hand up, stepping closer and placing it on my shoulder. This wasn't the same as when I touched her. Where her hand sat there was immense heat. It literally felt as if she were burning me, but in a really wonderful way. All the heat but no pain, and an intensity I had never felt in all my life, like every nerve in me was reaching out to her.

She brought her right hand up and over to adjust my arm that held her shoulder, lifting my elbow up higher. "Keep your elbow locked." Her features were set in stone, her tone very businesslike. She then brought her right hand over and, after hesitating briefly, grabbed my left hand. I saw her bite her lip, her jaw tightening, even though it was apparent she was trying to hide it. The contact obviously made her very uneasy. She hadn't looked like this when I had seen her dancing yesterday with Adam. This thought made me grind my teeth, and I tried hard to push it away, loosening my jaw muscles.

Once the anger was gone, I knew this had to be what perfection felt like. In that moment, when I was holding her, looking into her eyes, standing mere inches away.

She took another deep breath. "Both of your arms should remain locked," she said quietly. "They should never move. Do you remember the steps?"

I managed to nod, my eyes never moving, my hand tightening slightly around hers. It was so small, seemed so delicate, but it held to mine strongly.

"Alright, go ahead and start, with your left foot forward."

I stepped forward as she stepped back, going through the steps over and over in my head. To the side, together, then backward, to the side, and together again. She moved exactly when I did, matching my every step, her gaze never leaving mine.

Nothing else in that room existed. It was just her and me, moving together. But that hard, guarded look never left her face. Her body remained tense even when she moved. Her breathing was calm and controlled. I tried to appear the same way, even though my heart was tapping out a frantic beat in my chest.

And then she stopped suddenly, frowning and looking down. I couldn't tell if we had been moving for a minute, or ten minutes, or ten hours. All I knew was I didn't want it to stop. I wanted her eyes to come back up to mine so the room would disappear again and it could just be the two of us.

She looked back up at me, the frown still in place, her eyes curious. "Have you ever danced before?"

I cleared my throat, sure I had no voice right now. "Nope, never." I was almost right. My voice cracked horribly.

She glanced down at my feet again and then back up at me. "You move…really well. Especially for someone so big."

I gave her a small smile. "You must be a good teacher."

"You don't even look down at your feet," she murmured. She swallowed hard, then moved to the side a little to stare behind me. I turned to see the other couples still dancing, Adam darting in and out, giving pointers and moving arms around. Rachel and Embry were directly behind us, still doing pretty well.

"Your brother's almost as big as you, and he moves really well too." She was frowning again.

"Embry's not my brother. Just a good friend. Rachel, his wife, she's my older sister."

She looked at them for another moment before turning her eyes up to me again. Her expression was constantly changing. Angry, annoyed, anxious, wary. Now she looked uncertain, and a little frustrated. Her grip on my hand began to loosen, as if she were about to let go. I squeezed her hand just slightly. She bit her lip, then tightened her grip again.

"Try a foxtrot," she said, her tone all business once again. "It's the same box step, but your steps to the side are quicker, so the beat is slow, quick quick slow, quick quick slow. Take your step forward just as slowly as you did before, then when you step to the side and bring your feet back together, that's when you quicken it. Ok?"

I nodded, knowing I would do pretty much anything to keep her there. We started to move again, and just like before, nothing else seemed to exist. Her eyes never left mine, which I found surprising. I expected her to look away, uncomfortable with all the contact in general. But she was completely focused on me. My feet seemed to move without even thinking about it.

"You move well. Have you danced before?" Adam's voice broke my trance, and Calli stopped moving abruptly, looking over at him at the same time I did.

"No, never." My voice was almost a growl. His interruption didn't make me like him any more than I already did.

"Well, you would definitely benefit from lessons. If you'd like to sign up we would love to have you. But right now Calli and I have some practicing to do before the next class."

That's when I noticed all the other couples had separated, most of them already off the floor. I wondered how long we kept dancing after the others had stopped.

I looked forward at Calli. She was looking around too, and after a moment her eyes met mine again. She blinked a few times, then seemed to just notice that we were still holding on to each other. She dropped her hands abruptly and stepped back. She swayed a little, looked at me for a moment longer, her expression seeming angry, and without saying anything turned away and walked back toward the hallway, disappearing through what must have been a doorway off to the side.

Adam stood appraising me for another moment, his expression unreadable, and then turned and followed her. I looked up and sighed, running a hand back through my ponytail.

"Well, that was certainly interesting," Shelby said quietly. I looked down to see her watching me curiously.

"Interesting…that's a good way to put it," I mumbled.

"Come on lover boy, let's go get something to eat."

I opened my mouth, but she put up a hand to stop me. "She and Adam have to rehearse for awhile, but they have another class starting in…" she looked down at her watch. "About an hour. We'll be back for it. You and I, we've got some talking to do."

* * *

**A/N- I would just like to reiterate once again that I know nothing whatsoever about dance...although I do watch a whole lot of 'So You Think You Can Dance'...haha. Everything's coming from the limited knowledge stored in my head, not experience.**


	17. Chapter 17 Answers

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my stoy, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- As much as I loved writing The Half Breed Diaries, Im having so much fun exploring the human aspects of Calli I didn't really get to in that story. I hope you enjoy too!**

* * *

"You know, I can't really say I think you have much of a chance, because it's Calli, hello…but man! I've never seen anyone get to her like that!" Shelby took another bite of her pizza, shaking her head. We sat at a black metal table outside of a small pizza place, the air heavy with the promise of more rain, although the sun kept peeking in and out of the clouds.

"You mean she's not always that…grim?" That was the best way I could come up with to describe her constant guarded, tense persona.

"Oh no, she's always like that. The only time that girl's ever got a loose bone in her body is when she's dancing. But today, with you…she was totally unnerved. And Calli is never like that." She stopped to take a sip of her soda. "She's pretty much perpetually annoyed with the human race. But people just don't get to her. You, today…you got to her." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe she actually likes you," she murmured.

"I don't know, I think I probably have a long way to go before she likes me. But at least she looked at me with something other than a scowl today." I sighed. This was going to take a lot of work, which meant a lot of patience. And I had no desire to be patient right now.

"I'm telling you, I've watched Calli with people, and the way she was with you today…that was definitely different for her." She took another bite of her pizza, chewing and swallowing quickly. "We have some major work to do, but at least it's a start that she seems to be reacting to you."

"Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, picking up my slice and taking a small bite.

She frowned. "How do you have time for all this anyway? Didn't you have a job, or, you know…a life, before this?"

I smiled. "Yeah, but I'll make the time."

She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe you ought to tell me a little more about yourself. This is starting to feel severely stalkerish. I mean, guys are nuts in general, but most of them don't drop their whole lives in the pursuit of some girl they just met a day ago."

I sighed. If only she knew how long I had waited for yesterday. But I knew I couldn't explain it to her.

"So spill it," she went on. "I want to know more."

I took a long sip of my drink before speaking. "Well, I'm from La Push. Uhh, normally I live there, but I'm…staying with my sister here for a little while. I own a garage with some friends. I work on cars." I paused. "And I think that's pretty much it."

"Why Calli?" she asked quietly.

I looked down at my plate, avoiding her probing glance. "I told you…I've been waiting a long time." I started playing with my pizza, tearing it into small pieces.

"For her?" she persisted.

"For her." My voice was barely above a whisper. It was silent for a minute. I kept looking down at my plate, afraid to meet her gaze.

"What, about four years?" she asked softly.

My head shot up quickly. I gawked at her, wide eyed and slack jawed. "How did you…"

"Man, this is getting to be creepy," she murmured, interrupting my question.

"How did you know that?" I demanded.

She looked slightly awed as she answered. "When I met Calli, she was already pretty…closed off, you know, wasn't much with people, didn't open up. But there was something different, something I couldn't really pinpoint. Not that I can pinpoint much with her. But anyways, after we got closer, talked a little, she told me she had this crazy feeling, like something huge, something monumental, was missing." She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "She said she felt like she was waiting for something."

My breath caught in my throat. I swallowed hard, trying to carefully compose my face.

"After we got close I became friends with Adam too. He told me that, of course, Calli had always been the way she was, but that something had definitely changed in her months before. Which would be about four years ago now."

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I closed it quickly, swallowing hard. I grabbed my soda and took a long sip. My mouth felt like sandpaper.

So it had affected her. From the moment it had happened, she felt something. I didn't know how I should feel about that. Part of me felt relief that the imprint seemed to have affected her at all. But another part of me felt horrible, thinking it might have caused her pain for so long. Especially since she had no idea what was happening, or why.

Shelby began tapping her fingers on the table, her other hand cradling her chin. She looked like she was thinking very hard. "So this must be some crazy voodoo stuff goin' on here. But I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Calli is way different." She looked me up and down. "You're obviously different too. Maybe you two are from the same planet."

I chuckled nervously, running my hand through my hair. "Sure, sure."

"Ok Don Juan, so we've got some big work on our hands here. And it looks like I'm gonna have to play the part of cupid. So, ask me a few of the million questions you have, and maybe I can give you some answers, help this thing along. Although, you know, Calli's too damn stubborn for her own good. She probably won't even realize that what she's looking for is right in front of her. And if she does, she'll pretend she doesn't." She sighed, shaking her head, then folded her arms on the table in front of her and grinned. "But we're gonna try our best, aren't we?"

I smiled back, eager at the chance to find out more. "Ok, one thing that I just can't figure out. Calli is obviously uncomfortable with people touching her. Why in the world is she a dancer? That seems to take a lot of touching." My thoughts traveled back to yesterday, when she and Adam had danced together. But I quickly pushed it away.

Shelby frowned. "That's kind of a mystery. I mean, obviously, Calli's not a touchy feely person, never has been. But, she's danced for a long time, and me, well, I'm pretty touchy feely myself. So after we started getting close I was always throwing my arm across her shoulders or something. You know, just typical friend stuff." I nodded. "It bugged her a little at first, but it didn't take her long to get used to it, and then she was fine. And she was always fine when she was dancing, with other partners, or touching people, giving them pointers, that kind of thing. But something changed with her." Her voice was very serious now.

"It happened around her eighteenth birthday. Some…stuff happened around that time, with her dad, that I can't really go into. But, well, that actually happened a couple months before. I was all excited about her birthday, you know, trying to hype her up, make a big deal about it. But she was her solemn self, saying she didn't want to do anything, she was just going to stay at home. Well, I wasn't having any of that. I showed up at her place. But she wasn't there."

She paused, swallowing hard, her expression faraway as she continued. "I didn't see her for about a week. No phone calls, no nothing. She didn't go to work, she missed graduation. She wouldn't answer her phone. I really started to think something had happened to her. But then she just showed back up. And she was different. It was really noticeable. I was pretty pissed. I kept asking her over and over where she had been, what had happened. But she wouldn't tell me anything. She pretty much just tried to go on like normal. But it wasn't like before. If I touched her she flinched. If someone accidentally bumped into her she flinched. Every time anyone made contact with her she pretty much jumped out of her skin. She even had problems dancing with Adam for awhile, and they had danced together for years by then."

She shook her head. "I don't know what happened, can't think of it for the life of me. But a lot of things were different. She started losing weight, seemed to have headaches all the time, had trouble concentrating. She seemed constantly stressed out, more than she had before, and that's saying a lot. It's gotten better now, I guess. It's not great though. She's pretty much ok when she's dancing, she's usually ok when Adam or me, or maybe a few of the other dancers touch her. She still gets headaches a lot." She scowled. "I keep telling her to go to the doctor, but the damn girl doesn't listen to any kind of sense. She even looked kind of different. It's crazy, I can't even describe how, but she did."

My mind was swimming with a thousand different thoughts. I picked up my soda to take another sip. "When is her birthday?"

"May twenty eighth."

My eyes widened, my throat constricting as I began to choke on the soda still in my mouth. I coughed a few times, trying to compose myself while my mind replayed the images. The bonfire, the pain in my chest. Then the dream, the terrible dream, her deafening scream. The overwhelming feeling that I knew she was gone.

May twenty eighth. That was the day of my senior prom. That was the night of my dream.

"Whoa, are you ok?" I heard Shelby ask. My head was down. I was still coughing loudly into my hand, trying to clear my throat. I nodded, coughed hard one more time, and then cleared my throat a few times.

"I'm ok." My voice told a different story. It was strained and scratchy. I cleared my throat again and looked up. Shelby stared at me, concerned. "It just…went down the wrong pipe." I shook my head, then took another careful sip of my drink.

"Don't tell me…you two have the same birthday, right? This is something cosmic, numerological, or astronomical, or whatever that crap is."

I smiled and shook my head. "No, we don't have the same birthday."

She eyed me skeptically. "Uh huh. Well, there's your answer…I have no clue. Unfortunately, that's pretty much the norm with her. I don't know a whole lot."

I nodded, pushing my thoughts about the day of my dream to the side to be analyzed later. She couldn't help me with that. "So, I don't suppose you know why she is the way she is?"

She rolled her eyes. "I wish. I don't know a whole lot. I do know her family life was…difficult. There were some rumors, which I won't repeat, out of respect. Calli _does not_ talk about her family…ever. As far as I know she doesn't have much. The stuff about her dad, right before her birthday. Well, I guess he wasn't really in her life much up until then. Not that Calli said a lot about it, but that's the impression I got."

"Does she live with family?"

"No." She looked at me carefully, her eyes uncertain, as if she were debating something. "Calli…has lived on her own since she was fifteen." She held up her hand just as I opened my mouth. "Don't ask me why, I'm not really too sure. As for how…well, Calli's a hard worker too."

"Fifteen! That's…insane. How is that even possible? That's just a kid!"

Shelby nodded. "Like I said, I don't know much. But I can pretty much figure that Calli grew up too damn fast."

I sat there, looking at her, saying nothing. Then my next question popped into my head. I needed to know about this guy Adam. But before I could say anything Shelby stood, looking at her watch. "Q and A's up jolly green giant. Calli's next class is starting. I'm assuming you want to go see her, yes?"

I stood up, gathering my trash. "Yeah…let's go."

The walk from the restaurant to the studio was just a few minutes, in which Shelby decided to give me small tidbits about Calli. I listened carefully, wanting to pick up anything I could.

"Now, most girls love all those romantic books and movies. Even I'm a sucker for most of them. But noooo, not Calli." She waved her hands exaggeratedly. "She can't stand 'em. Don't ever get her started on Romeo and Juliet. She thinks it's the worst story ever. I really think she's trying to convince herself that love doesn't actually exist." She sighed. "For her, at least."

"Great, that oughta make this easier," I mumbled.

"She can't cook. Not that she eats a lot anyway. The girl is a stick!" She paused. "Ok, let's see. She sings and plays the piano, and she pretty much loves all types of music. She doesn't sleep nearly enough…she always looks exhausted. She's always, _always_ keeping herself busy. She teaches dance at the studio, is in the community dance group there. Then she has the club. And when she's not doing those two things she's running, reading, practicing, cleaning, pretty much anything she can find to keep herself occupied." Shelby frowned. "That actually got worse after her birthday too. I mean, she was always doing a lot, but since then she's been obsessive about keeping busy." She shook her head. "She doesn't take good enough care of herself. Oh and she's a clean freak. It's disturbing…nothing is ever out of place."

She started ticking things off one by one on her fingers. "She loves popcorn. She loves watching movies…just not the romance ones. She loves jelly beans…usually the really weird flavors too, like the jelly belly ones you leave at the bottom of the bag because they don't taste good. Her favorite colors are red and purple. She loves to shop at thrift stores. She likes to hike"

"She doesn't like the quiet, or the dark. She's almost always got music playing. She's got a serious dislike for jocks." She eyed me carefully. "You weren't a football player or anything, were you?"

"No," I chuckled. "Just around the yard with the guys."

"Ok, good. That could've pulled you outta play right there. She doesn't like a lot of attention, not in general. Which is totally weird, since she's a dancer. But when it comes to her dancing, it's like she's turned into a different person. For that time, all the old rules don't seem to apply."

She paused for a moment, then started laughing. I looked at her curiously. "The unshakable Calli is terrified of spiders. I think it's hilarious. She plays the tough chick until she sees a little creepy crawly, and then she goes off the deep end. She hates drunks, which makes her job that much more interesting. Druggies really piss her off too. She doesn't like to talk on the phone."

"And now we're here," she sighed. I looked up to see that we were standing in front of the studio. I hadn't been paying any attention to the walk. I tried to carefully remember each thing Shelby had said. .

I looked through the window to see Calli and Adam on the floor once again, surrounded by several teenagers. I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Ok…let's go."


	18. Chapter 18 Chemistry

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

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Calli was directing her attention to a boy and girl in front of her, chuckling. But as soon as she saw us walk through the door her face turned stony. She rolled her eyes and looked away. Adam smiled, shaking his head when he saw us.

"This is a preparation class," Shelby whispered to me as we sat down in the seats farthest from the floor. "These are kids who are planning on entering couples competitions. Adam and Calli train them on specific things they should do. Sometimes they help them with choreography and stuff like that."

I nodded, watching the two of them as they talked animatedly to the couple in front of them. They said something, and Calli and Adam nodded at the same time. The two walked away and joined the few other couples, most of whom sat on the edge of the dance floor, or right outside of it, looking up at Calli and Adam. Most of them appeared to be about fifteen or sixteen.

Adam walked over to the cd player, put a disk in, and pressed play. As the song began he and Calli walked to opposite sides of the floor, facing each other.

Then they started walking toward each other. Only they were dancing. Dancing separately, but coming toward one another, staring at each other the whole time.

I ground my teeth, swallowing hard. Not just because they were dancing together. They weren't even touching yet. It was the way she was dancing. This dance was completely…sexual. That was the only word fit to describe it. The way her body moved, the expression on her face, her eyes. I knew that anger wasn't the only thing coursing through me, tensing up every muscle.

They circled each other a few times, still part of the routine…and then they were dancing together. It amazed me how unbelievably perfectly they danced. Like they knew each other so well they could anticipate every way the other would move. Awe actually seemed to cover up the anger that wanted to bubble over.

And the way she looked at him. She looked completely alive, completely open, like she was inviting him in. Something I couldn't yet imagine her doing with me. I bit my lip as I felt my hands quiver slightly. He watched her the same way, and the desire to strangle him grew immensely as the dance went on.

She never looked anything other than perfect and completely involved in what she was doing. It was impossible not to believe that there was something between the two of them. Shelby could say whatever she wanted about Calli never dating. This man was as close to her as physically possible every day, and she looked completely enamored with him.

And they were as close as physically possible in this dance. There were moments when their bodies were completely molded to one another. There were several times I had to close my eyes for a few seconds. As much as I wanted to catch every glimpse of her I could, I couldn't stand to watch them like that together.

I breathed a sigh of relief when they finally separated. My hands still shook a little, and I clenched them, taking a few deep breaths. I glanced over at Shelby. She was looking at me, smiling.

"What?" I asked crossly.

"Oh, nothing," she chuckled, looking back toward the dance floor. Adam walked over and pressed stop just as the next song began.

"Chemistry. That's what we'll be focusing on today," Calli said, walking closer to the group. "Because you're planning to compete in partners, that is the most important thing. It's not always easy to tell when you have it, but it's very easy to recognize when you don't, and it's one of the biggest things judges focus on. So it's really important to work on it."

"Easy for you to say," a girl up front muttered.

"I'm sorry?" Calli asked, looking at the girl sitting closest to her.

"I just mean that you always dance with your boyfriend." The girl motioned to Adam. My jaw clenched at the word 'boyfriend. "So you always have chemistry. But it's harder for us."

I saw Shelby smirk out of the corner of my eye. Adam grinned. Calli even smiled.

"I think I can help with this." A man stepped out from the hallway at the back of the room, smiling. He had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked like a beach bum. His hair was messy and he seemed to have a tan, something not many in Seattle did. He was sort of short, maybe five ten, and a little bulky. But he was all muscle, and he moved with the same grace that Adam did across the floor. He also looked slightly familiar.

Then it came back to me. He was the guy who had been sitting in the seats yesterday, talking to Shelby. He had to be a dancer. Yesterday I had thought he might have been Shelby's boyfriend. He smiled at the group situated, then looked at Adam, who smiled, and to Calli, who nodded at him and walked back to the side of the floor.

Adam started the same song he and Calli had danced to. The other man went quickly opposite of Calli. They walked to each other the same way Adam and Calli had. They circled each other the same way the two had before.

And they performed the exact same routine, down to the letter. He didn't seem to be quite as good of a dancer as Adam. I didn't know much of anything about dancing, but he didn't seem like he was as graceful as Adam.

But he still looked at Calli the same way Adam had. She looked at him the same way. She danced the same way, her body completely fluid, all of her attention focused on him. Their bodies molded together in exactly the same places.

"Maybe she dates him too," I heard a kid mutter.

I wasn't really sure what to make of this. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides, my teeth grinding furiously. I was sure my anger showed on my face, but in that moment it was hard to care. I figured it was better than ripping out of my skin, which is what I felt like I wanted to do.

And then all of a sudden my mind became very logical, which was the last thing I expected. I couldn't be angry at every single person that touched her. I hadn't even been in her life up until yesterday, not really, and this is what she did. She danced. Dancing involved touching. I needed to loosen up a little if I ever expected to get anywhere.

Maybe my mind had just suddenly become rational to calm me down, keep me from doing something stupid. But my muscles relaxed; not completely, but a lot more than before. I moved my stiff jaw around a few times, and then the dance was over. They separated. Adam stopped the music. The man walked back to Adam and whispered something in his ear.

And then he kissed him on the cheek. My jaw dropped. I probably should have been a little more subtle, but at least I wasn't the only one in the room with that reaction. Most of the kids followed suit.

The man walked away, disappearing through the hallway. Adam chuckled. So did Shelby beside me.

"John doesn't really like when people assume I'm dating his boyfriend," Calli said nonchalantly, smirking. "Now, why don't you all take the floor so we can begin?"

The couples rose slowly, whispering back and forth as they took their places on the floor. I worked hard to compose my face just as Calli looked fleetingly my way.

I felt a pat on my hand and looked dazedly toward Shelby. "Don't worry slick," she said quietly with a huge grin. "A lot of people make that mistake. Lucky this is a new group of kids…I bet that answered a big question for ya." She shook her head and chuckled. "Most people have to pick their jaw up off the floor for that one."

"So they're…I mean, you know…they're…" I stammered, unable to force myself to actually say it.

"Gay," she said slowly, enunciating the word. "They're not too showy about it, so it takes a lot of people by surprise."

I looked down, blinking a few times, feeling unbelievably stupid. A few minutes ago I had been convincing myself there was some huge relationship between the two of them.

"I wasn't keeping some secret love affair between Calli and Adam secret," Shelby scoffed, still keeping her voice low.

"Well it was easy to make the mistake," I complained, thoroughly annoyed with myself, and her. "I mean, look at the way she dances with him. And the way they look at each other. I really did think…" I trailed off, looking toward the dance floor. My gaze met Calli's; she was staring right at us. And now she didn't just look annoyed, but angry. She turned away and walked to a couple down the floor. I sighed. Having her constantly annoyed or angry wasn't going to help things at all.

I turned back to Shelby. "How can she dance with him like that and not feel…something?" It seemed impossible to me.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Dancing for Calli is like…playing a part. It's a part she really really loves, but it's still a part. She plays it, and then she walks away. When she dances she's excited and upbeat, she's passionate, she's sexual…" That particular word sent shivers through me as an image of her played through my mind.

"But it's just a part. Because Calli doesn't know anything about those things, not really. She knows how to act them out." She chuckled, but the sound wasn't very happy. "Adam tells her all the time that if she ever got some real passion in her life, her dancing would go through the roof."

Once the shock started to fade a bit I could feel the immense relief take its place. One more obstacle gone. Well, one obstacle that had never really existed. I shook my head, still annoyed with myself.

We sat there in silence, focusing on what was happening on the dance floor. A few of the couples were dancing, while some of them were just talking amongst themselves. Calli stood talking to one of the couples, while Adam followed another who was dancing, speaking quietly to them.

At one point Calli was speaking to a couple when another one passed behind her, performing. They did what looked like a very complicated move, the girl twisting and then going down into something like a dip. It happened in a matter of seconds; the boy lost his footing. His arm came out from around the girl. Her head was maybe a foot and a half from the floor when she began falling. I heard her gasp.

But before she hit the floor Calli swung around, bending down at the same time, and grabbed her. If I hadn't caught every single movement I might not have believed it. She seemed to move faster than should have been possible, and she hadn't even been looking at them.

"Never let go of your partner," she said sternly to the boy, who had straightened up and was looking very sheepish. "One move like that and someone could get seriously hurt." The girl stood slowly, muttered thanks, and walked away with the boy, socking him in the arm. It had happened so quickly that no one else on the floor even noticed.

"Did you see that?" I hissed to Shelby, gawking as Calli straightened and went about what she was doing like nothing had happened.

"Yep." I looked over to see her still watching the floor, looking slightly bored.

"How the hell did she do that? She didn't even see the girl fall!"

She shrugged. I was amazed at her lack of amazement. "I told you, Calli's crazy. Stuff like that happens all the time. I think she's got eyes in the back of her head or something."

I blinked a few times, looking from Calli to the girl, then back. That shouldn't have been possible. Even if it was possible that she had been able to hear the girl start to fall, it seemed impossible that she could have reacted so quickly. But I had seen it happen.

I kept replaying it in my head, attempting to analyze it, until the kids started trickling away from the floor, collecting their things and heading out the door. Once the majority of them were gone Shelby stood and walked toward Adam. Calli walked back through the hallway, out of sight. I stood and followed Shelby.

"It's always fun to watch those little demonstrations," Shelby said with a grin as she reached Adam.

"Yeah," he laughed. "Something like that usually happens with a new group." He looked over at me. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Adam." He stuck his hand out.

"Jacob," I replied, shaking it.

"I'm sure you'll like me much more now that you know I'm not dating Calli. At least you don't look like you want to rip my throat out anymore." His eyebrow raised and he smiled.

I shook my head shamefully. "That obvious, huh?"

"Just a little," he chuckled. "But don't worry about it. You didn't crush me, so it's cool."

"So you'll be there tonight, right?" Shelby interrupted.

"Yeah, we're performing. Actually, we're about to rehearse, get the routine together."

Shelby looked at me. "Sometimes the community group comes in and performs at the club. You'll get to see them tonight."

"Two nights in a row? I wouldn't have guessed you were such an avid clubber," Calli said in an annoyed tone as she walked up and stood beside Shelby, crossing her arms over her chest and eying me.

"Didn't I tell you, good buddy?" Shelby said in a sickeningly sweet tone, throwing her arm across Calli's shoulders. "Jake here is now a proud member of the club Neptune team. We'll be seeing a lot of him."

Calli's jaw dropped slightly as she looked from me to Shelby. She looked back at me, staring wide eyed for just another moment, before looking thoroughly irritated again. "The dresses aren't really your color."

Shelby snorted. "Well, I'm assuming guard duty doesn't require a dress," I grinned.

"Did you really enjoy throwing the guy out that much?" She sounded skeptical.

I stared meaningfully before answering. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy myself last night."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you going to mysteriously come up with something to do near my apartment anytime soon? That seems to be the only place I haven't seen you in the last two days."

"Got anything that needs to be done?" I challenged, crossing my arms.

We fell silent, staring each other down. It wasn't until she looked down at herself that I noticed we were leaning in toward one another. Shelby and Adam looked back and forth between the two of us, saying nothing.

"Ugh," she breathed, sounding disgusted as she looked back up at me. She stared for a second more, then rolled her eyes and turned on her heel, walking away fast. "And don't you follow me!" she called out just as Shelby was turning to go after her.

"This is so awesome!" she squealed, grinning, and turned to go after Calli. "I'll see you boys tonight!" she called over her shoulder, hurrying away.

Adam made a clicking sound with his tongue, smiling. "You've got your work cut out for you Jacob."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I ran my hand back through my hair. "Any advice?"

He looked thoughtful for a minute before answering. "Be careful. Calli looks tough, acts tough. But she's like a string being pulled too tightly. She looks like she's holding together ok…but she's right on the verge of breaking."


	19. Chapter 19 Overheard

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- I know it's a little difficult to keep up with this story since I'm not posting as much, but I won't be abandoning it! Those of you who are reading, thanks so much, I hope you're enjoying it, and thanks for sticking with it. Enjoy!**

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I'd heard their voices before I even got to the club door; I was usually listening for her, whether I was close or not. After the bouncer let me in I walked quietly through the hall, stopping just before the corner rounded and listened.

"Gee, I wonder what possible reason I could have to be annoyed," Calli said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I didn't say annoyed," Shelby said pointedly. I peeked quickly around the corner to see them wiping down tables on the main floor, hiding myself again so they wouldn't spot me. "I said pissier than usual. There's a difference. You're always annoyed."

"I don't like it when people don't leave me alone," she snapped. "And you, well you just think it's fabulous."

"And that's it, huh? That's all that's got you all tangled up?"

There was a pause. "You already know the rest Shelby. Can this conversation please just end already?"

Shelby snorted. "I know slightly more than the general population babe…I damn well don't know the rest. But I'm assuming we're going back to the 'something's missing' thing?"

Calli made no reply, and Shelby continued on. "You know…"

"I swear, if you say it's sex one more time I'm gonna hurl this table at you," Calli interrupted angrily.

Shelby laughed. "Oh, no. While that would probably loosen you up a bit, I'm starting to get that you need a whole hell of a lot more than that."

"Yeah, well…" Calli trailed off.

"Are you even looking for this thing that's missing? Because you don't really seem like you are. You seem perfectly content to just go on miserably."

"How many times are we going to have this conversation?" Calli said in an exasperated tone.

"Until I get an actual answer." I peered around the corner once more. Shelby was looking at Calli, her hands planted on her hips, while Calli leaned over a table, glaring.

"First off, just because I don't have…whatever it is, that doesn't mean I'm miserable."

Oh, trust me hun…you're miserable."

"Second off," she went on as if Shelby hadn't spoken, "I've told you over and over, I have no damn clue what it is."

"You…"

"No, Shelby, listen. I don't know what it is. But I know what it's not…and it's not anything that I've seen, or come across. So there's no point in looking for it, because I don't know what the hell I'm looking for. I don't know how to make it any clearer than that." There was a pause. "I just should have kept my mouth shut in the first place," she finished under her breath.

"So you've never come across anything, huh?"

"Nope."

"Really? Not even in the last couple days?" Shelby sounded skeptical. I held my breath.

"Oh, shut up already about that, would you? It's not a guy, ok. And it damn well isn't _that_ guy." Calli sounded angry. I looked around the corner and saw her facing away from Shelby, cleaning another table. She was biting her lip, hard, shaking her head. She almost looked as if she were in pain.

"Why couldn't it be a guy? Because you might have to drop that fortress you have all around you and actually let someone in? You know, this guy, he could be different. He could…"

Calli whirled around to look at her. "No Shelby, he's not different. He's just like every other guy. He thinks just because he's tall, dark and gorgeous girls should fall down at his feet when he _stalks_ them. You know what, if you like him so much, why don't you just date him already? You're spending plenty of time together as it is." Calli walked to another table and began wiping it furiously. Shelby just stood there, her mouth open slightly, her eyes wide, staring at her.

Calli finally looked up at her. "What?" she snapped, and quickly looked back down at the table.

"You're jealous," Shelby breathed.

"What?!" Her head shot up, and she gave Shelby a death glare. "I am not jealous! You've got a serious screw loose lately, you know that?" She looked back down at the table and kept wiping.

"You are! You are totally jealous." Shelby shook her head. Calli refused to look at her. "I never thought I would see this day. But you have no reason to be hon. _This_ guy, he's all yours."

Calli blew out a loud breath. "Get it through your head already. _I don't want him_."

"Oh, I'm thoroughly sure you don't want him. Yet. Because you've got a few screws loose yourself. But you damn sure need him. And you know what Calli…did you ever think he might need you?"

Calli looked up at her, incredulous. "Would you listen to yourself? You're talking about a guy you…we…met _yesterday_. This is insane! Even for you."

"What are you so afraid of Calli?" Her voice was softer now.

Calli turned away from her, toward me, an unreadable expression on her face. She didn't answer

Just then the door slammed behind me. I jumped and turned to see a man walking around the corner. He was just a few inches shorter than me, and probably just as bulky, his skin dark as night.

"You the new guy?" he asked in a deep, booming voice.

"Yeah, that's me."

He stuck out a big hand. "Chris." His grip was firm as he shook my hand briefly. "I'll show you the ropes. Not that there's much to show. Job's pretty self explanatory." He began walking past me into the club.

"Hey there boys!" Shelby yelled as she saw us round the corner. Calli looked up, her expression blank, for just a second before looking back down at the table she was wiping.

"Hey Shelby. Calli."

"Hey Chris," Calli said without looking up.

"So," Chris said, turning toward me. "Rule numero uno. We keep an eye on the girls. You'll be working the inside, so basically you walk around the place. Make sure the drunks keep their hands off. Sometimes once they've knocked back a few, they can get pretty friendly, you know. And we don't like them grabbing on the girls."

"Got it." I knew I would be keeping a particularly close eye on Calli. I looked at Shelby, who was smiling knowingly. My gaze turned to Calli just as she looked up at me. But she turned around quickly, walking to another table.

"Two, you look out for fights. Now, little miss Calli over here, she's pretty observant. Has a knack for spotting some of the troublemakers before anything starts. So, if she comes and tells you to get someone out, do it. We learned the hard way a few times to listen to her." He looked toward her. "Ain't that right Calli?"

She just shrugged, her back facing us.

He smiled and shook his head. "And that's about it. Pretty simple. We're just tryin' to keep the peace."

"Sounds easy enough."

"Alright then, I'm gonna go talk to the boss man. I'll catch you later." He walked toward the bar and through the hallway that led back to the offices I had been in yesterday.

"So Jake, excited about your first day?" Shelby asked jokingly.

"Sure, sure," I chuckled. I looked toward Calli again, who was still facing away. "Hello Calli."

It was a second before she turned around to look at me. Her face was blank, perfectly composed. She didn't even seem to look angry, the way she usually did. "Hello Jacob." She held my gaze for just a moment longer, then walked away, disappearing through the same hallway Chris had gone.

I turned and looked at Shelby, who was shaking her head. "I really just wanna hit that girl sometimes," she muttered under her breath. "You know, Calli's smart. She seems to get people pretty well, better than she should sometimes, you know? Everyone but herself." She chuckled. "And you. Did you hear that line about you being like every other guy? You're just as weird as she is…you think she'd see that."

I felt my face flush a little. "You, uh…knew I was listening?"

She grinned at me. "I know now."

She continued to clean up around the club as other people trickled in. More waitresses, bartenders, the dj, the security guy who stood outside last night when I'd thrown the troublemaker out. And before I knew it, the place was full of club goers.

The job was pretty easy. I learned a few things pretty early on, some told to me by Chris and David, who wandered through the club watching just like I did, and others just by observation. First, David told me there was never much trouble in the beginning of the night. Not until people had been drinking for awhile did the occasional fight break out.

Next was a little talk from Chris, who came up to me with a sly grin on his face.

"How you doin' new guy?"

I shrugged. "Not much going on." I had mostly been watching the waitresses, one in particular, but I hadn't seen much trouble happening with them yet either. I tried to give Calli a little distance, afraid if I crowded her too much she'd just be more upset. I scanned the club and found her loading a tray with drinks.

"The waitresses are buzzin' about you man," he went on.

I pulled my eyes from her. "Huh?"

He grinned. "Fresh meat. And they've taken a big liking to you. It can be kinda weird, dating the waitresses…but then there's always the rest of the female population in this place. You'll see…before the night is up you'll have more numbers than you can count." He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Later man." He walked away, scanning the crowds.

I rolled my eyes and continued walking through, watching out for waitresses, keeping a particular eye on the male patrons of the club. It only took a couple hours to learn a few more things. One, I remembered exactly why I hated hip hop music. The few times at the shop that Seth had gotten his way with the radio he'd turned it to the hip hop station. That had been bad enough. But it was so much worse here. It was loud, bouncing off the walls and hitting my ears with a reverberating ring. Add that to the lights in the club and it made for one hell of a headache.

My next revelation was that drunk girls were shameless. Especially when grouped together in their little packs. They didn't hesitate to rub up against anything that was male in the club. The guys were even worse, but I guess I expected it more from them than the ladies.

But now I understood exactly what Chris had meant. It seemed they took a particular interest in the security guys. And being new made me a big target for them. I was in the clutches of one particularly touchy group, trying diplomatically to push them away, when I heard Shelby's voice.

"Find a new boy toy ladies…this one's taken." She pushed her way through the two girls in front of me, grabbing my arm and dragging me along behind her. The other girls complained loudly, glaring at her, but she didn't even look at them twice.

"Jeez. How drunk are these girls?" I complained as she let go of my arm.

"They're probably not even drunk yet," she said laughingly. She leaned in conspiratorially. "They don't need to be drunk to throw themselves all over you, you know," she said with mock seriousness.

I rolled my eyes. "This place is a nightmare."

"Well, it may interest you to know that Calli was glaring daggers at your little fan club over there."

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "Really?"

"It was fun to watch. I get to see a whole new Calli coming out here." She turned to walk away. "By the way, you should get better at pushing the vultures away. It's only gonna get worse."

I couldn't keep the smile away as I walked through the crowds. Knowing that Calli might be jealous definitely made me happy; a little happier than it should have, I was sure. I looked around trying to find her. I was surprised to see her just a few yards away, standing next to one of the tables. A guy had his hand wrapped possessively around her arm, tugging at it. I felt my stomach clench instantly. She was bent down just slightly, glaring at him. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but he just tightened it.

"…if you want to keep that hand," I heard her say severely as I caught up to them.

"What's the matter sweetheart, you don't…"

My hand was around his wrist before he could finish. I ripped his hand off of her arm, squeezing tightly for a moment before letting go. Calli looked up at me, her expression relieved and agitated all at the same time. The guy jumped up, baring his teeth.

He looked furious, until he seemed to notice how much taller I stood than him. Then his expression turned to a sneer. Calli stepped back, looking between the two of us.

"I'll have to ask you not to put your hands on the waitresses," I said darkly.

He chuckled. "Don't worry buddy." His gaze turned to Calli. He looked her up and down. My jaw tightened. "She's kinda cute." He looked back to me. "But a little small for my tastes."

I opened my mouth to respond, but she beat me to it. "I'm almost positive I could say the same about you," she said, arching a brow, giving him a little smirk.

I barked out a loud, unexpected laugh, shaking my head.

His face started turning red. He looked like he might explode. But then he recovered himself quickly. "Did I strike a nerve sweetheart? Hurt your little feelings?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, you've dashed my dreams of some loser redneck coming and sweeping me off my feet. Whatever will I do?" She sighed dramatically, then turned and walked away.

I glared at him one more time. "Keep your hands to yourself if you want to keep them at all." I rushed after Calli, catching up quickly.

"Are you ok?"

She looked over at me for just a second before turning away. "I'm fine. Not the first time some drunk's gotten touchy."

That didn't make me feel any better. "What about your arm?" I asked softly. I wanted to reach out and touch where it was still red from his grasp, but I didn't dare.

She looked down at the fading mark, frowned, then looked up at me. "It's fine." She held my gaze for a few more moments, then looked ahead, clearing her throat. "Thanks," she mumbled just as she stopped at the bar. She rattled off a list of drinks to one of the bartenders, then looked annoyingly over the club.

"Why do you work here if you hate it so much?" I asked her.

Her face turned to me, eyes narrowing. "Who says I hate it?"

"Do you like it?" I challenged.

She took a deep breath and looked away. "It's a job. Do you love yours?" Her eyes were back on me, watching carefully. I winced slightly as my mind went to the loud music and obnoxious girls. She smirked smugly.

"This…is just temporary. But I have another job. And I do love that one," I finally answered.

"Well, I have another job too. Remember? You've spent the last couple days there." She glared again. "So, you decided tossing losers out of a club was a good way to make some extra pocket money?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah…something like that."

Her eyes narrowed. "Funny how I don't really believe you at all." The bartender loaded the drinks onto her tray and she started making her way quickly toward the tables.

I followed. "Are you always so defensive?"

She whirled around, the hand not carrying the tray sitting firmly on her hip. "Are you always so annoyingly persistent?" I had to stop short so I didn't run into her. We stood just inches apart. She looked up at me, her mouth set in a straight line, her eyes blazing. I fully expected her to back away. But she didn't, and we stood like that for several moments before she seemed to notice the closeness. She took a few steps back, then turned around and continued toward the tables.

"Some people consider persistence a good trait…charming even," I countered as she set the drinks on a table, giving the customers a tight smile.

"And some people skydive…I'm not one of them." She picked up empty glasses from a neighboring table, never looking back at me.

"You know, you might like me if you got to know me."

She turned, and I could swear for a moment her expression looked sad, wistful almost. But soon it was blank. "Did you ever think that maybe you wouldn't like me if you knew me?"

"No," I answered immediately, completely serious.

"Well, maybe you should," she snapped, and walked off into the crowds.


	20. Chapter 20 Heat

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N- I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy it too!**

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"Well ladies and gentlemen, we've got a treat for you tonight," the dj's voice boomed throughout the club. "Our favorite dance group is here to entertain us for the evening." The crowd cheered. Shelby and I stood in the front, looking at the group congregated on the platform just below the dj booth. "Now…should we get some introductions out tonight?"

The crowd cheered even louder. I was going to need some major aspirin by the end of the night. I didn't even bother trying to talk to Shelby; I was positive I couldn't be overheard through this.

"Alright people!" The dj paused just as more music began playing. "Let me hear you give it up for the lovely Stacy!"

The dance group was standing on the platform, a mix of about twelve or thirteen guys and girls. They were dressed pretty casual. Calli wore a pair of black shorts and a gray sweater that hung down one shoulder. Most of the other girls were dressed similarly. When the dj spoke her name a girl walked down the two steps from the platform to the dance floor and danced some complicated ballet looking thing, with lots of spins and turns that looked like they should have had her falling face down on the floor.

"Adam!" The girl Stacy walked to one side of the floor as Adam came down and performed. He must have had a lot of fans in the crowd; the cheers while he danced were almost deafening.

"Put your hands together for Lacey!" Adam walked to the opposite side of the floor from Stacy as Lacey made her way to the floor to perform.

"Let's get John out to the floor!" More cheers and lots of whistles, same as Adam had gotten. I cringed and chuckled a little at the thought of what had happened earlier in the afternoon. John did something that looked a lot like ballet too, much different from Adam, who had danced hip hop. I smiled to myself at my increased knowledge of dance over the last couple days.

"Let's hear it for Calli everyone!" Calli's cheers were the loudest so far; obviously a lot of people recognized her from the club. She came down the stairs and performed a hip hop dance. She looked so much happier and more comfortable dancing than she had the night before. She was smiling, really smiling, not like she was forcing it. Her tiny body moved in ways that seemed impossible.

I leaned down close to Shelby, hoping she might be able to hear me. "She looks a lot happier dancing tonight," I said close to her ear.

I pulled back in time to see her roll her eyes. "That's cause she's not with the stripper brigade."

"The what?" I glanced back at Calli.

"The other girls…"

Just then the dj's voice boomed through the loudspeaker. "Let's keep it in the family, what do you say. Jaqie, get down there with your sister!"

My head snapped up to the platform, my brow furrowing in confusion. A girl made her way slowly down the stairs, and she and Calli began dancing together. The girl looked nothing like Calli. She had long, wavy brown hair a few shades lighter than Calli's. She was taller and naturally thin, not the painful looking thin that Calli appeared. Her skin was slightly darker, her features a little wider, not as narrow as Calli's. But like Calli's, they were well defined, prominent; and, oddly, very familiar. She moved well; she and Calli looked comfortable dancing together.

"Sisters!" I bent down and hissed to Shelby.

She shrugged. "I forgot to tell you."

I glanced back at the two of them briefly before returning my attention to Shelby. "They look nothing alike."

"No, not really." I looked at Shelby carefully; it seemed like she was dodging me, looking around the club instead of at me.

"Well are there any other siblings I should know about?"

Shelby finally looked back at me. "Not that I know of."

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the floor just as the dj called someone else's name. "Hey," I said, turning back to Shelby as something occurred to me. "What's her…their…last name anyway?"

Shelby looked up, then down at the floor, then back at me. "Well, Calli's last name is Whinehouse. Jaqie's is Francis."

I just looked at her, raising my eyebrows. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Look, they have different moms, ok?"

I was confused. "But shouldn't…"

Shelby interrupted, holding her hand up to stop me. "I can't explain any more of it, lover boy. You'll have to drag it out of Calli."

I wanted to keep questioning her, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to ask too much and end up pushing her away. But the questions rolled around in my mind. And so did the annoying recognition I felt when I looked at Jaqie; her name sounded familiar too, and I was racking my brain trying to figure out where I might know her from. During this time the group performed a few dances. Calli definitely looked much happier dancing tonight, and I made a note to myself to ask Shelby about that again later. The dances tonight seemed a lot different from the one from the night before. They seemed to be telling stories. Sometimes the whole group danced, while at other times it would just be a couple of them at a time.

After they were done and had exited, Chris came over and told me to take my break, letting me know where the break room was and that bottled water was behind the bar. I went and asked for two bottles and walked down the hallway to the door at the end.

"Didn't need to come," I heard Calli say. I stopped short, stepping to the side of the doorway.

"I wanted to come." A male voice I didn't recognize.

"Well now you've seen I'm nice and alive, so you can go." She sounded slightly angry. I wanted to look into the room, but I didn't dare. I didn't want to take the chance of them seeing me. For a moment I felt a little bad about eavesdropping…again…but I tried to convince myself it was necessary. Calli wasn't exactly forthcoming with information, so I needed to get whatever I could however I could.

"You think that's all I want to know…that you're alive?" The male voice sounded hurt. I desperately wanted to look and see who he was, but I planted my feet firmly. "You're still not listening to me Calli." He said her name lovingly. He sounded so concerned. Shelby had sworn up and down there were no guys in Calli's life. Maybe there was one she didn't know about. My stomach clenched at the idea.

She didn't respond, so he went on. "I'm trying so hard to stress to you how important it is to close it off, to…"

"Someone could be listening," she hissed, her voice much angrier this time. My whole body stiffened. I held my breath, desperately hoping they wouldn't come out to check.

"I'm open Calli; there's no one there." Open? What did that mean? "Do you hear anyone?" I heard her sigh, but she didn't answer.

He sighed. "Look at you Calli. Every time I see you, you seem to be thinner. More tired, more on edge. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"In case you've forgotten, I didn't really do this to myself," she sneered.

"There are ways to control it. I've told you that. You have to control it Calli. It's tearing you apart. You can't do what you're doing here, or at the studio. You have to stop letting them through."

"That's easy for you to say." She sounded exasperated now. "It's not the same for you."

"No, not completely. I don't see everything you see. But there are others who have. And I know for a fact you can at least stop opening yourself up to other things. I do it. If you work on it, it can get better." This conversation was like a foreign language to me. I had no clue what they were talking about. "This can kill you Calli," he went on softly. My breath caught. My heart felt like it jumped up into my throat. What the hell did he mean? What was he talking about? What was going on with her? "At the very least it could drive you totally insane. It's already taking its toll…it will only get worse."

"What I'm doing…it's not bad. I'm helping people. It's not all the time…I'm not always open. I'm fine." She was mumbling near the end. She didn't even sound like she believed what she was saying.

"You're not fine!" Now the man sounded angry. I heard him take a deep breath. "You are not fine," he went on in a calmer tone. "You can't tell me you look in the mirror and actually believe you're ok. Each time I see you…and Jaqie tells me. She's seen you faint…she knows."

"Well that's great, it's nice to know you have some spies watching me!" she spat.

"I don't…"

But she interrupted him. "I don't need you guys watching me! I managed a long time without you! When you're going through what I'm going through, not just a little part, but the whole thing, then you can sit here and lecture me! Until then, mind your own damn business!" She was almost yelling near the end, and I heard something bang loudly against the wall. My first instinct was to rush in there, grab the guy and slam him into a wall. But I fought to stay in place. I couldn't let them know I was listening. I could only imagine how much angrier Calli would get.

What came next really surprised me. "Calm down Calli!" he said firmly. I heard her take a few long, deep breaths. Calli? She didn't really seem like the violent type. I figured he had maybe hit the wall. But Calli? "Still hardwired to your emotions I see," he sighed. "Have you even been working on that?"

There was no answer. They both remained silent for a minute or two. Finally he spoke up. "Are you ever going to go see her Calli?"

"I've already answered that," she said in a low, tight voice.

"The treatments...well, they're not working like they were. You might not have much more time," he said softly, in a sad voice.

"I don't…"

"Don't try to give me that crap that you don't care," he interrupted this time. "Don't lie to me. You may not be open to me, but I still know it's not true."

"You don't know anything," she snapped.

"No, Calli, I know everything. Not because you'll let me see, but because she has. I know that things have been incredibly hard…but she's your mother. She wants to see you. You need to give her a chance, at least. At least now, when she might not be around much longer." Her mother? So maybe this guy was related somehow. Their conversation didn't seem to be taking on any kind of intimate tone.

"No. I don't," she said coldly. "I don't care. I don't owe her anything. I'm not going to go see her." Her voice sounded flat, completely devoid of any kind of emotion.

"Really? So if you don't owe her anything, why are you paying down her bills Calli? I receive them, remember? You didn't think I'd notice? I doubt some good hearted stranger is going in and putting money towards her hospital bills. You're doing it. Because some part of you _does_ care."

She laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "Why do you two want to be parents all of a sudden?" Ok, so it was reasonable to assume this guy was her dad. This put me at ease a little, though the fact that I didn't understand a word they were saying was driving me nuts. "Why the hell does she even want to see me? I was around for fifteen years and she didn't give a damn. Now all of a sudden she wants to be a mother? That's not the way it works. You don't get to just wake up one morning and decide to be parents."

"That's not fair Calli…I didn't know. And your mother…she knows she made a lot of mistakes. She just wants to talk to you."

"Mistakes? That's the understatement of the year! You know what's a mistake…this whole thing here is a mistake. You already have a daughter. You've got her to take care of. You don't need to worry about me. I've gotten along fine by myself. And that's the way I want it. Just…go. Please just go."

I heard him sigh and take a few steps. "I have two daughters Calli. One day…and I hope it's soon…you're going to wake up and realize that no one can be alone forever. And when you do…I'll be here."

When I heard footsteps again I darted for the opening to the club and watched as he walked out of the room and toward me. His head was down, but just as he reached the doorway he looked up at me. He kept walking, never saying anything, but watched me carefully. I did the same thing. He looked oddly familiar. And not just because he was the spitting image of Calli; they had the same coloring, the same dark hair and bright green eyes. There was something else about him. I could have sworn I'd seen him somewhere before.

I stepped to the side to let him pass. He gave me a tight smile. He walked away, but I turned just in time to see him looking back at me curiously, his brow furrowed in concentration. Recognition dawned on me immediately. He looked the same as he had that day in the shop when he had been trying to figure out where he knew me from. The brake guy. The one that had seem so familiar. The man who looked just like his daughter, my imprint.

Too many thoughts pushed through my mind at that moment. I knew he lived in Forks; I remembered Seth telling me he owned a deli. Now that I replayed the day in my head, I even remembered him talking about the man's daughter; but he had said Jaqie, not Calli. I wondered how many times Calli had been close to me, in the next town without me even knowing it. It stood to reason she probably hadn't lived with her father; Shelby talked about them going to the same school, and there was no way she had been at Forks High without me knowing. But I wondered how many times she had visited, how many holidays and weekends she had spent just miles away.

My mind snapped abruptly to the present as Calli came out of the break room, back in her dress for the club. She looked angry, but her eyes were glistening. She was pressing hard on her temple when she saw me. Her scowl deepened and she walked quickly toward me. I was still standing to the side as she hurried past me.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly.

She stopped a few steps ahead of me, looking back over her shoulder. "Why wouldn't I be alright?" she asked coldly. Her voice had a very hard edge to it, and I was amazed at how frustrated I felt all of a sudden. It seemed like I would never get close to her, and mixed with the conversation I'd overheard, of which I understood next to nothing, it was maddening.

"You look upset," I replied calmly.

To my surprise she took a deep, shuddering breath. She looked me right in the eye, and for a moment, I thought she might actually say something real to me. "I'm fine," she finally snapped, looking down at the floor as she walked out into the club.

I heaved a sigh as I walked back toward the break room, opening one of the bottles of water and drinking half in one gulp. "Couldn't have been easy, no, of course not," I muttered to myself as I sat down in one of the chairs that circled the table in the middle of the room. I looked around to see one wall lined with lockers, while another had a long counter that extended the whole length. There was a microwave sitting on the counter, as well as a mini fridge, and various utensils and condiments left out here and there. The third wall had a small loveseat, like the ones out in the club. And on the floor, to the side of the couch, was a book. It was sitting open to a page that was slightly bent.

I stood and walked over to pick it up. Could this have been the noise I'd heard? I couldn't imagine Calli throwing a book. Maybe it had fallen? But then why had her dad told her to calm down? I closed the cover and read the title. 'Scenic Areas of Washington'. I brought the book back to the table with me and started to page through it, glad for the small distraction. It seemed geared towards hikers, describing lots of trails and mountains.

aAs I went through more of the pages, I found little notes inside. An area or trail would be underlined, with a date written next to it. I found a lot of these as I went further. Then I turned a page near the middle of the book and froze. There were a couple paragraphs about the reservation and First Beach. My mouth went dry and I blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing correctly. The words 'La Push' were underlined, with the date '9/21/07' written next to it. Under that was an asterisk, with the words 'What happened in the forest?'

September twenty first. The day I'd imprinted. The day I'd first seen Calli.

This was Calli's book. I took in a gasp of air, then realized I'd been holding my breath. I ran my hands roughly over my face. What had she felt that day? What had the imprinting done to her? Suddenly the urge to get through to her was staggering. I wondered if I should just tell her everything. I had so many questions, and I figured I could answer some of hers too. Would that make things better? Would it speed this whole thing along? Would it open her up to me? Or would it just make things worse?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, stretching my arms out on the table and flexing my fingers. I could almost feel them aching to work on an engine. I never really took time off. There was no reason to, I loved what I did. I wondered how long it would be until I could get back to the garage. I knew I would stay as long as it took. The question was, how long would it take? And how long could I realistically stay out here? And then what happened if things did go well. Did I just expect Calli to pick up and come to La Push? I knew the answer I wanted to that question, but I also knew it was unfair to her. I couldn't ask her to leave everything behind for me. But I could hope she would anyway.

And if she wouldn't? The idea of moving to Seattle wasn't very appealing. I'd never really had any desire to live in the city. I loved La Push, and I loved the people there. But the answer was already there, despite all the objections that popped up. I would do whatever I had to. I'd gone more than four years away from her, so whatever I needed to do to be near her, that's what I would do.

I grabbed my half empty bottle of water and downed it, then opened the next. I was in the process of gulping that one down when I heard it. A loud shriek, then a thump from close by. I choked on my water, dropping the bottle as I jumped out of my seat and ran for the door. My heart was pounding furiously as I rounded the doorway and darted out into the hall.

Calli crashed right into me. I instantly reached out, grabbing her upper arms and holding her against me tight. "What is it? What's wrong? What happened?" I prepared myself for her to pull away, but she didn't. She cringed into me, her breath coming in shallow gasps.

She looked up at me. Her expression turned from horror to surprise. She looked slowly to the side, at her arms still grasped firmly in my hands, then back up to my face.

"What happened?" I asked again urgently.

She swallowed hard and looked away. "Ummm…spider." She pointed to a doorway just up ahead. "In there."

I heard a door behind us open. I looked back, still keeping my grip on her. "What's going on out here?" I saw the owner peeking out of his office, looking at us curiously.

I gave him a small smile. "Nothing. Someone just saw a…uh…bug."

"Ahh," he said knowingly, smiling, then shook his head. "They really should stop sending you into the storeroom, Calli."

Calli peeked around me at him. I looked down and saw her nod, then give him a tight smile. "Sorry Jim."

"Why don't you have…umm…him…go get whatever they need," he replied, looking at me, his brow furrowed.

"Jacob," I supplied.

"Right, right." He gave us one more smile before retreating and closing the door.

I looked back down at Calli. "What did you need?" I asked softly.

She cleared her throat, looking down at the floor. "Box of straws. I dropped them on the floor."

"Ok." I slowly let go of her arms. I was still looking down at her, but her eyes were on the floor. I moved to step around her. I saw her lift her head, looking at her arms curiously.

"Wait!" I felt her hand on my arm just as I was starting into the storeroom. It was so cold, yet it sent waves of heat through me. I spun around, my jaw almost dropping when she reached her other hand quickly up to my face. She moved fast. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat as she placed it on my forehead.

She gasped quietly. "You're sick!" She looked up at me, her eyes wide, and pressed her hand more firmly against my head, moving it from side to side. "You're burning up." I resisted the urge to close my eyes and just relish in the feeling of her touching my skin. "You're whole body is hot."

The corner of my mouth pulled up, and I arched a brow at her. "Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm serious Jacob. You must have the flu or a…"

I chuckled. "I'm fine," I interrupted. "Really."

"You are not fine. You're burning up!" She was still staring up at me. And she was concerned. For a minute the hard, unreadable Calli was gone. This Calli was open, and she cared…and it was about me."

"I'm really not sick. I promise. I'm always pretty warm. As you can tell, I'm bigger than the average person. Creates more body heat. Add that to the fact that it's about a hundred degrees in this club. Plus," I added, reaching up and taking the hand that sat on my forehead gently in my own. "You're hand is freezing. With everything going on…makes for a lot of heat."

She was still staring up at me. Her hand was grasped in mine, the other one still resting on my arm. Right then, in that moment, the urge to bring my face down to hers was almost impossible to resist.

I think she saw that. My head may have even bent down a little. All of a sudden her eyes clouded over. She pulled her hand, gently but swiftly, from mine, and dropped her other from my arm. She took a step back and eyed me skeptically. "It's not just your head that's hot. My entire body isn't freezing."

I let my eyes rake over her, looking up and down at the skimpy dress that hung limply on her tiny body. "You sure about that?"

She made an irritated sound in the back of her throat. But a deep blush crept into her cheeks as her gaze turned to the side, to the wall. I resisted the urge to smile. And the urge to reach out and touch where her pale skin was now colored red. "Fine. But maybe you ought to think about the fact that you might be getting a lot of other people sick."

I tried my hardest to look serious. "I'm really not sick Calli. I promise."

She kept looking away for a few moments before finally looking at me again. She studied me carefully before giving me a curt nod. "They need the straws at the bar," she said in a flat voice, then quickly stepped around me and headed for the opening to the club.

"How big was it?"

She stopped, turning around with a puzzled look on her face. "How big was what?"

I took a couple steps toward her. "The spider you saw."

She brought her chin up, a look of apprehension, then defiance crossing her face. "Big enough. I hate spiders." She turned abruptly and walked away into the club.

I sighed, shaking my head, then backed up a few steps toward the storeroom. The box of straws Calli had dropped was right in the doorway. I looked inside. The light was turned off. I flipped it on and looked around, my gaze landing on the shelf just inside the doorway. The straws were on the very end, so you didn't even have to walk into the room to grab them. All you had to do was reach your arm in and out, wouldn't take more than a second to grab the box.

I stepped into the room to see if I could find the spider. I didn't really expect to, but it couldn't hurt to look around. But wherever it had been, it was long gone by now. I headed out, flipping off the light as I went. I wondered where she'd seen it. She wouldn't have even had to look in the room to grab the box.

And then my mind wandered to the little encounter in the hallway. Maybe most wouldn't have considered that progress. I did. I'd seen that she had the ability to drop her guard a little, even if she didn't want to. It gave me hope, and I found myself smiling a lot throughout the rest of the night.

It didn't occur to me until later why I'd reacted so quickly to the scream. It wasn't just because I'd recognized it the tone of it as hers. I probably did. It was because I'd heard it before. Over and over again. Each night I'd relived the dream with that single tear and that heart wrenching scream. The dream I'd first had on what I now knew to be her eighteenth birthday. Before I'd ever even heard her voice.


	21. Chapter 21 Glimpse

**_Disclaimer- The fabulous characters of my story, with the exclusion of a few,belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and come from her Twilight series._**

**A/N: Ok, so it hasn't been _that_ long since I updated, right? I KNOW, I KNOW, it's been forever! Life gets all busy and your kids take up all your mental energy and one day you wake up and say, oh, look, I have an unfinished fanfiction I haven't updated in ten years. So here it is, finally, an update. Thanks to all of you who read this, I know it's been long coming**! **I really did always plan on finishing the story, just had to find the time and energy! I hope you enjoy, and I'd love reviews, I haven't had a lot in a long time!**

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The next day, Sunday, the others were heading back to La Push. I had taken the day off to go back with them and retrieve my car. I couldn't keep borrowing Embry's. If I was going to be there for any significant amount of time, I would need my own transportation.

The ride was quiet. The baby slept the whole way, while I think Billy, Sam and Emily recognized that I was lost in thought. I was trying to put together what little I knew about Calli and force it to make some sense. But there were just too many things I didn't understand.

I figured it was pretty safe to say things with her parents were a little messed up. But why? What had her so angry that she refused to even speak to a mother who was apparently sick? Was it this thing with her parents that caused her to be so stand offish? The conversation I'd overheard with her dad from the night before played itself over and over in my mind. But it just confused me further. There were so many things there I couldn't even begin to try and understand.

But I didn't need to understand it for it to scare the hell out of me. Her father had mentioned her dying. Or going insane, at the least. What was wrong with her? Was she sick too? She was so thin and pale, it was easy to worry she might be.

I needed to start making some headway with her, and fast. It was obvious she had some trust issues. So I had to start with getting her to trust me. I just wasn't sure how to do that.

The drive went pretty quickly, and before I knew it, we were pulling up to Billy's house. Sam and I got out and helped him into his chair.

"Come by and see us before you take off," Sam said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded as he walked to the driver side, then waved to Emily as they pulled away. My dad and I went into the house. He moved around the kitchen while I sat down on the couch, my head still swimming with a million thoughts.

"How are you Jake?" He sat across from me, eying me carefully.

"Ok," I shrugged. "Better than I've been in awhile, I guess."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, there is a noticeable change now that you've found her. And how is she responding?"

I sighed. "I don't really know. Her friend seems to think she's responding to me more than she does anyone else. But the response definitely isn't…great. She's defensive and angry…and I have no idea why. I want to know…but I'm afraid she'll never trust me enough to let me in. I don't think she really trusts anyone. Even her best friend barely knows anything about her past."

"Trust can sometimes be a difficult thing to give. Especially if it's been broken in the past. You'll need to be patient with her, but I believe it will pay off in the end." Billy smiled at me. I smiled back. I couldn't remember the last time we'd actually sat down and really talked to each other.

I stayed for awhile longer before heading back to my place on foot. The air was just beginning to get a little cold. It was drizzling, the dark clouds threatening heavier rain later on.

I walked in the front door and looked around. The place was fairly neat. A few things were strewn over the couch and tossed on the coffee table. I'd made sure to clean the kitchen well before I'd left. Now I went to the fridge, taking items out I was sure would go bad while I was gone and feeding them down the disposal. Then I headed back to my bedroom, reaching under the bed to grab a duffel bag. I loaded some more clothes into it and grabbed a couple things from the bathroom.

Then I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, looking around. I liked my house. It was small and cozy, and it suited me just fine. It was almost always quiet, save for the constant rain against the roof. I would miss it while I was gone. But a little thrill shot through me at the idea that I might not be coming back to it alone.

I sighed, knowing I was getting a little ahead of myself. I needed to get through to Calli first, and even then, I couldn't be sure she'd even want to come to this place. I was sure now that she felt something for me. There was a connection between us that I could see on her side, even if she didn't want to acknowledge it yet.

I ran my hands over my face, stood up and stretched, then grabbed my bag and headed out the front door, locking it behind me. I didn't usually lock it day to day, but I wasn't sure how long I would be gone. I hopped into my car and drove the short distance to Sam and Emily's. When I got there I found Seth and Quil there too. Emily was feeding the baby while the guys sat around the table talking. I pulled up a chair and joined them.

"We'll miss you around here man," Quil spoke up.

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss it too. I'm not sure how long I can stand working in that place." I sighed. I'd never been away from the reservation for too long. As much as I wanted to be near Calli, I knew I would really miss it.

Quil wrinkled his nose. "Working in that place would definitely suck. Hopefully you won't have to be there for too long."

I shook my head. "I hope so too. I'm not even too sure why Calli's there. I guess the money's probably good. But you can tell she doesn't like it."

"Well, maybe after all that big city excitement she'll enjoy coming to a small town," Emily said, smiling.

"Yeah…maybe."

We all talked a little longer before I decided it was time to start making my way back. They each said their goodbyes, wishing me luck, the guys telling me they'd take care of the garage, no problem. As I got in the car I could already feel the anxiousness to be back in my own home, with my friends, doing the job I loved. But the need I had to see Calli far surpassed those feelings. I thought of that, as well as the million questions I had, the whole drive back to Seattle.

My chest ached as I lay in bed that night. I was happy to finally be back in a bed, after spending the last three nights on a couch, and stretched out comfortably. While I was more comfortable, the ache in my chest wouldn't subside. I suspected it was because I'd gone the entire day without seeing Calli. When I'd gotten into town I'd almost gone straight to the club just to get a look at her. But I figured that wouldn't be a good idea, considering I'd taken the night off, and just headed back to the house.

And now I wished I'd just gotten one glimpse of her today. I'd gone so long already without seeing her that I didn't want to miss any chances. I decided I'd go into the studio tomorrow and see her. I didn't want to wait until night. I figured it might make her a little upset, but I had to see her. She'd just have to deal with it.

I finally fell asleep, and when I did, the dreams began.

My first dream pretty much just replayed the scene in the hallway from the night before. Calli's hand resting against my forehead. The look of concern in her eyes. Then the scene changed. All of a sudden we were out in the middle of the club. Calli stood a few yards away from me, looking over at a table where some guys were sitting. She was frowning, studying them carefully. I watched them, but they just seemed to be in deep conversation. I wondered if maybe she knew them.

It only took a second for their conversation to change to shouts, and suddenly one of them jumped up and punched another one. For some reason I made no move toward them, and the fight continued.

I looked over at Calli, who was still watching them, shaking her head. Then she looked over at me. "Told you so," she said, then turned and walked off.

The scene changed again. Calli and I were standing on a sidewalk, still a few yards apart, as people rushed by us. Most of them were silent. I watched Calli, who watched each of them carefully, shaking her head, smiling to herself, chuckling or frowning once in awhile. I watched her studying them, watched as the expressions flitted across her face, the look of concentration always remaining in place. She looked like she and each person were sharing some kind of secret. Like she knew what was going on in their heads.

That one ended, and Calli and I were walking along the beach again. This time she wore the black shorts and sweater she had danced in the night before. We walked along First Beach like we had in the dream before, with the shore extending on forever. I looked down to see I was wearing my cut off sweats again. We walked in silence for a few minutes before speaking.

"You think we're getting anywhere yet?" Calli asked, shielding her eyes and looking down the never ending shore.

I smiled. "I hope so. But we've probably still got a long way to go."

I looked over to see her nodding. Then she looked past me, down the sand, and I turned and looked too. Her dad was walking parallel to us, quite a few yards away, staring intently at Calli.

"He's watching you."

She shrugged, looking ahead again. "It's ok…he doesn't really see me."

"I don't really understand everything. Or anything," I sighed. I reached out, hesitantly, and took her hand, lacing my fingers through hers.

She held on lightly and smiled. "Maybe you don't want to understand." She looked forward.

I stopped walking and turned toward her. "I do want to understand. I need to understand." She stopped walking but continued to face and look forward. "If you tell me your secrets, I'll tell you mine," I said lightly, smiling.

She looked over at me, giving me a small, tight smile. "I should already know your secrets…but I don't."

I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb. "You will. I promise. But you'll have to let me in."

She stared at me for a minute, carefully assessing me. Then she finally shook her head. "I don't know how to," she said, almost whispering.

I pulled her a little closer. "I'll show you."

I woke up very suddenly, then groaned, closing my eyes again. I wanted to go back to sleep, to where I could talk to Calli and hold her hand and pretend that it didn't feel like it was going to take me a hundred years to get somewhere with her. But I was awake now. I sat up, looking around the room coated in dull gray light. My eyes fell on the alarm next to the bed.

Ten am! I jumped out of bed, throwing on a pair of jeans that were draped across a chair next to the bed. I never, ever slept this late. I figured it had to be because it was my first night back in a regular bed. I grabbed a t shirt, threw it on, then went across the hall to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. Then I headed downstairs.

It didn't surprise me that the house was empty. Rachel had already told me that both she and Embry would be gone at work today. I went to the fridge and opened it, surveying the contents. Finally I just grabbed a bowl, poured some cereal and milk, and downed it fast.

I was more nervous than the previous times I'd gone to the studio. Probably because I'd never gone alone. And I didn't have a legitimate excuse this time, though I was sure she knew they were just that. I had no idea if there was a class or anything today, or if she'd even be there. Maybe Monday was her day off. If she even ever took a day off. I had no idea if Shelby would be there. She couldn't spend all her time at the dance studio, could she?

I paused for a moment just outside the door, trying to come up with a legitimate excuse quickly, but I couldn't think of anything. So I just took a deep breath and walked in.

John and Adam were on the floor, along with a few other people. I thought a couple of them were some of the dancers from the club Saturday, but I couldn't be sure. They all stopped talking when I walked in, and I became immensely uncomfortable until Adam grinned, breaking a little of the tension.

"Hey Jacob, how's it going?" he remarked casually, like I was supposed to be there. It made me feel guilty for how angry I'd been at him.

"Pretty good, you?"

"Good, just waiting for…there you are!" Adam was looking back at the hallway, where Calli emerged. She wasn't looking at him though, she was looking at me.

Maybe it was just my imagination, but she seemed to look relieved somehow. We stared for another moment before she spoke.

"I was starting to worry, I hadn't seen you in, what, twenty four hours?" Her voice was cool, but she wasn't scowling, which was progress.

"I guess it's a good thing I came then…wouldn't want you to worry." I grineed at her, and she turned her gaze to Adam.

"We got it today Calli," he said, holding up an envelope and waving it, smiling. "Want to open it?"

"Uh uh, you open it," she walked over and stood a few feet away from him.

Adam looked at me again. "Calli and I are doing a competition, our first one in years. They pick the styles for you, and we got our style assignment today."

"Oh," I remarked, nodding. I knew a little about dance now, thanks to them, and nothing about competitions. This seemed to be a big deal though. The other people in the room looked excited.

"So what are you doing here Jacob, are you our new mailman?" Calli asked, her signature scowl returning slightly.

"No," I smiled, crossing my arms. "Just walking by, thought I'd stop in and say hi."

"Oh really, where were you headed?" she inquired with mock innocence.

"Hey, so let's get this thing opened, huh?" John cut in, before I had a chance to respond. He winked at me behind Calli's back, and I had to hold back a chuckle.

"Sure you don't want to open it?" Adam wiggled the envelope in the air again.

"Definitely, you do it." Calli clasped her hands and putting them under her chin, looking a little nervous. It made her look vulnerable, maybe for the first time that I'd ever seen.

Adam was smiling and shaking his head while he tore at the paper. He pulled out a few sheets of folded paper, looking at the front of each of them. Then he opened one.

His smile widened. "Well, our first style is hip hop."

Calli let out a loud breath, looking relieved.

"Lucky you," one of the girls I didn't know spoke up, a tall lanky blonde. "Our first one is lyrical jazz."

Adam cleared his throat. "Our second is…wow, Argentinean tango."

"What, are you serious?" Calli said. "I didn't even know that was a style this year."

Adam nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard. We've done similar stuff." He studied the paper, then looked up at Calli, smiling almost sadly. "Our advancing style is contemporary."

Calli closed her eyes, shaking her head. She brought her hand up, rubbing them hard, then looked up at the ceiling. "Of course it is," she muttered.

John had stood and walked my way while this exchange was happening. "Calli's kinda terrified of contemporary," he said quietly to me.

"Oh. Yeah, I don't really know what that means," I admitted.

He grinned. "It's my style."

"What does 'advancing style mean?" I asked him.

"It's what they have to perform if they advance past the first stage."

"Ahhh," I said, nodding, and turned my attention back to the floor.

Adam had just handed Calli a piece of paper. "I'm not doing your solo, you read it."

Calli scowled at him, looking down at the paper in her hand. She looked up, inclining her head toward him. "You first."

Adam took a deep breath, then opened another piece of paper. He looked a bit surprised, then smiled. "Broadway. It's Broadway."

"I got Broadway for my solo too," another girl said.

"They each have to perform a solo in the competition too," John explained again.

I watched Calli look down at her paper then finally she opened it. She smiled wryly, shaking her head. "Contemporary. Of course it's contemporary."

"You do better than you think, Calli. You're not bad," John said.

"Yeah," Calli said quietly, and shook her head again. "Well, I guess we better get to work." She sighed. "Frieking contemporary," I heard her mutter, too quietly for the others to hear.

I smiled. She seemed to notice. "So I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark and guess I'll see you tonight," she said dryly, frowning.

I smiled coyly. "Well, I wouldn't want you to worry." I stared for another second. "Good luck practicing Calli."

"Uh huh, see you later Jacob." It definitely wasn't my imagination this time, the smile I caught a fleeting glimpse of just as she was turning away from me.


	22. Chapter 22 Accident

**Author's Note**** - Ok, so for the few people who might actually finish reading this story...I AM SO SORRY! I always swore I would never leave a fanfiction unfinished...and then I did. My excuse? Well, I did get pregnant, I was horribly sick, and I now have three kids. So I'm going to try hard and finish this story. It's a little difficult, getting back into it, but I do want to finish it for those of you who have been reading. I'll try to update, I promise!**

The next two weeks were, for the most part, uneventful. I saw Calli every day though, so it was a happy sort of uneventful. We fell into this kind of uneasy alliance. As in, I was around all the time, and she was hardly complaining about it anymore.

I was at the studio almost every day, working at the club almost every night. Adam and John acted like it was completely normal for me to be at the studio all the time. Although I got plenty of strange looks from lots of the other people there; always around, never dancing. Most of the time I didn't even see her much; she was usually in a back room practicing. But more than if I hadn't come at all.

Calli had something to say about it the first few days; she'd scowl and come up with a sarcastic remark, then ignore me for the rest of the day. It was much of the same at night at the club. And then after that first few days back the scowls and sarcastic remarks stopped, for the most part anyway.

She still ignored me most of the time, unless Shelby forced her into a joined conversation, or the few times she asked me to break up an impending fight. Which looked to be the case as she approached Shelby and I tonight, looking just as frail and exhausted as ever.

The other security guys seemed to catch on to what was going on, and tended to make themselves scarce if they noticed Calli looking around for help, making sure she had to come to me, giving me a nudge and a wink later on in the evening.

Of course Calli had picked up on this by now, so every time she was forced to come to me for help, she looked none too happy about it.

"Here comes little miss sunshine," Shelby quipped as Calli approached fast, looking back over her shoulder.

If anything she'd been more annoyed lately, and I knew that I just couldn't push her. I would have to wait for her to come around, and I had a feeling that was going to take a very long time.

"Hey smiley," Shelby greeted her, smiling wide even as Calli scowled.

"I need you to do something for me," she jumped in, without greeting her back, not even sparing me a glance.

"Who is it?" I automatically asked, looking over where she'd been focused, trying to spot anyone who looked like they might be about to start trouble.

She glanced toward me. "Not you." Then back to Shelby. "See that guy over there, blue shirt, glasses?"

She turned around again and pointed; Shelby and I seemed to find him at the same time.

"Crew cut, nursing that whiskey?" she asked.

"Yeah him. Look, I just need you to…just keep him here, ok?" Calli was looking toward Shelby but past her, not meeting her eyes. "Keep him busy, occupied, whatever."

"Is he bothering you?" I asked her, confused. Usually she just wanted troublemakers tossed out, not kept company.

"No, no," she shook her head, hard, rubbing at her temple, and finally met Shelby's curious gaze. "Just do it, please? Ok?"

Shelby shrugged. "He's not _so_ bad, in a misery wants to make their company miserable sort of way." She rolled her eyes at Calli's reproachful look. "I got it, busy, occupied, I'm going."

She headed over to the table while I followed Calli back to the bar, She called out her order to the bartender while I leaned against the counter, saying nothing, until she finally met my questioning stare.

"What Jacob?" she finally sighed.

"Trying to set Shelby up?" I asked, jerking my head back toward the table.

"Yeah, I'm quite the matchmaker," she scoffed, rolling her eyes and then turning them back toward her tray.

"Yeah, I bet you are." I looked over my shoulder. Shelby was smiling playfully at the guy, but his answering smile was hard and definitely forced.

"Trying to cheer him up?" I persisted, turning back.

She seemed to think about this for a second. "Yeah. Trying to cheer him up. Shelby can…have that affect. You know…" she trailed off.

Such an obvious lie. Even if I didn't know Calli well enough by now to know she wasn't looking out for the club patrons happiness, it would have been obvious. She couldn't look up from the ground, and the hand that wasn't on the counter fidgeted restlessly. Her heart sped up, and now I was really curious as to why she'd sent Shelby over.

I turned and studied him more carefully while she waited for her drinks. There wasn't anything particularly special about him, average height, average weight, unremarkable brown hair. The only thing that really stood out was that he seemed to be preoccupied, and it looked as if Shelby wasn't even making a dent in that.

I looked back to Calli, who was pointedly looking away from me. As usual. "So I've been meaning to ask you, how do you spot all the troublemakers anyway?"

She barely glanced at me, then away again. "I can just…read people, I guess," she mumbled uncomfortably, turning herself away, making it clear this avenue of conversation would go nowhere.

"What's your favorite color?" I blurted out unthinkingly.

Her gaze landed on me, blinking a few times in confusion. "What?"

"Your favorite color, what is it?" Of course I remembered from my conversation with Shelby, but this seemed like safe territory that even Calli might venture into.

"My…favorite color?" she repeated. Then went silent.

"Come on Calli, we're not talking a big personal revelation here. Just a color. One," I persisted.

She seemed to consider the request for a minute. "Purple," she finally relented. The bartender started loading her tray with drinks.

And then she surprised me. "What's yours?" she asked.

I only let the shock color my face for a moment before I answered. "Well, it used to be black."

She practically snorted. "Black? Why would black be your favorite color? It's…well, just black."

I shrugged. "It's simple. Guys like simple."

"Plus, it's your last name. That's just…too cliché." She shook her head, the hint of a smile almost showing.

Had I ever even told her my last name? I couldn't remember. "Well, I said _used _to be," I chuckled.

"Yeah, and what is it now?"

I smiled at her. "I'm pretty fond of green these days."

She thought about this for a second as she picked up her tray, seemed to grasp the context, and rolled her eyes as she started to walk away. "_That's_ a little too cliché too," she murmured when she was a few steps away from me.

I grinned, knowing she thought I couldn't hear her. I watched her walk off for a moment before deciding I should probably actually do my job, so I started making a round of the club. The place had died down quite a bit, since it was pretty close to closing time.

I was looking over at Calli, who seemed to be searching in the direction where Shelby had been sitting with the mystery guy, when it happened.

A guy was pushing through the crowd a few feet from Calli, bumped into another girl, who spilled her drink across the front of her shirt. Her boyfriend automatically got in the other guys face, shoving him, catching the guy by surprise. He stumbled back into the girl behind him, who was right in front of Calli.

I was moving fast, too fast, a part of my mind was telling me, and I was still too late. The girl backed up into Calli, The drinks on her tray already tipping back onto her, covering the front of her dress in their contents.

I managed to balance the tray and catch the glasses before they fell to the ground. Calli was just barely turning her head back, her wide eyes going first to me and then down to look at herself as I took the tray out of her hands.

"You," I pointed to the shover, glaring. "Out." I grabbed his arm before he even had a chance to respond and started towing him toward the door, his girlfriend yelling obscenities at me the whole walk. Once I had them both outside, the guy joining in yelling at me as the door closed in his face, I rushed back in to find Calli.

She was by the bar, trying to blot the booze out of her dress with one of the bar rags.

"You alright?" I asked as I approached.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she looked up briefly before returning her eyes to her soaked dress. "I just smell like a brewery."

She started searching through the crowd. "Do you see Shelby?"

"Right here darlin'." She held out another towel to Calli. "Need help mopping up?"

Calli's eyes widened when she caught sight of her. "Where's the guy Shelby?" She sounded almost scared.

"What can I say, I tried." She shrugged nonchalantly. "Kept him occupied for as long as I could, but he was in a big rush to get away."

Calli threw her towel onto the bar. "Did he leave? Did you see him go? How long ago?" she demanded, looking around frantically.

"Whoa, relax chi…"

"How long ago?" she practically screamed.

Shelby sobered fast. "A few minutes, just before the thing with the drinks. What's going…"

But Calli was gone before she could finish. I rushed after her, Shelby right behind me.

She burst through the front doors, Frank watching with a curious stare as we all filed out. Calli's head whipped back and forth, looking down both sides of the street.

"Would you please tell me what's going on?" Shelby demanded loudly.

Calli didn't even glance at her. Apparently not finding what she was looking for, she stopped, closed her eyes, and seemed to be concentrating very carefully. I didn't speak. Somehow, somewhere in my mind, I knew to be quiet right now.

"Fourth," she muttered. And then she was off again. Man, she was fast! Not that I couldn't keep up, but it was almost a challenge, not something I was used to from normal people.

Around a corner, down a bit, then around another one. She never slowed, and I was thinking it was amazing how fast she could move for looking so tired all the time. We were running down a sidewalk, past dark storefronts, past another nightclub with a few very drunk people stumbling out.

Then she skidded to a stop, almost losing her balance but catching herself on the pole of the street light on the corner where we stood.

"No," she breathed, almost moaning, staring caddy corner from us, where a crowd had gathered.

Standing over something.

A man.

I couldn't not stare. The blood, the twisted form lying in the street, the people shouting. I felt my jaw go slack, my eyes go wide. Looking at a dead man I'd seen alive just a few minutes before.

I heard her heave, that's what broke my stupor. And I managed to collect myself in time to catch her as she collapsed.

* * *

We were all completely silent, Calli sitting atop the standard hospital bed in the room, while I leaned against the length of counter, and Shelby perched herself by the door. Her look was just daring Calli to try to get up and take off, which she'd already threatened to do.

After she'd passed out I'd tried, unsuccessfully, to wake her. So had Shelby, when she'd finally reached us. She'd barely looked at the accident; the ambulance was already there and blocking most of it from our view. I didn't know if she understood what had happened, that it was the guy from the club. If she did, she wasn't saying anything. Nobody was saying anything. Other than Calli's initial protests that she didn't need to be at the hospital.

It was Shelby who'd insisted we take her to the hospital after neither of us could rouse her, muttering about Calli's damn headaches. So we'd carried her back to Shelby's car and taken her in. She woke up just as we were being ushered into a room and immediately began struggling in my arms. It was honestly like trying to contain a Chihuahua; she was even lighter than she looked.

I'd set her on the bed, taken my place against the counter, and watched in silence as she and Shelby fought it out. Shelby's normally playful demeanor was gone; she was all business as she told Calli she'd have to get past her to get out of this room, and then the nurse had come and told Calli she needed to draw some blood.

Finally she'd just held her arm out wordlessly, staring angrily at a blank spot on the wall, where she still looked now.

"You don't need to be here Jacob," she finally said flatly, in a quiet voice.

"I'm not leaving," I responded, crossing my arms, at the same time that Shelby said "yes he does."

The door opened then, and a small, wiry man with glasses and a disapproving look walked in, looking down at some papers as he shut the door behind him. He looked up at Calli and heaved a huge sigh.

"Well, Calli, you look just as terrible as ever."

I stared back and forth between the two of them, confused.

"He's seen her before," Shelby supplied quietly.

Calli just stared at him, eyes hard, chin jutted out defensively already.

"Passed out again, did we?" he continued

"There's nothing wrong with me, right? Tests are fine, I can go?" She started pushing herself down from the bed.

"Sit down Calli," he ordered, his expression immediately stern.

She froze for half a second before scooting herself back onto the bed.

"You haven't suddenly developed a life threatening disease, if that's what you mean," he continued, looking at her over the top of his glasses. "But no, you're not fine. Just like you weren't fine the last time I saw you."

She said nothing, and after a moment, he went on. "You're malnourished, underweight. Your white blood count is low. You look like you haven't slept in a month." Still she said nothing, purposefully avoiding his gaze, while I really looked her over and wondered just how sick she might be.

"You haven't listen to anything I've told you." She still stayed silent, looking away from him. He hissed out an exasperated breath. "That's it. I'm admitting you Calli. One week."

Her head snapped toward him so fast it looked painful. "What?" she croaked. "You can't do that! There's nothing wrong with me!"

"There is very obviously something wrong with you," he replied calmly in the face of her almost hysterical response. "I've ordered you to rest before, you never listen, and now here we are again."

"This has to be illegal!" she fumed.

"Don't worry doc, I'll stand guard by her door, make sure she can't escape," Shelby piped up.

Calli's menacing look turned on her. She raised an eyebrow challengingly, saying nothing.

"Look, I'll…I'll rest," Calli sputtered. "I'll sleep, ok? But I cannot stay here Dr. Matthews." Her tone was pleading.

"You've told me that before. You won't, we both know that."

Calli looked from him briefly to me, then over to Shelby. "She can make sure I rest. She can stay with me."

My gaze met Shelby's across the room, and that mischievous look I'd come to know well crept across her face. She didn't even try to hide her smirk as she turned to Calli.

"Can't. I have a big paper due. Sorry babe."

"Then you can study at my house," she said coldly.

"I mean group project. Big group."

"You can meet at my place."

"Tests. Lots of tests," she countered again, still smiling.

"Oh come on! Two minutes ago you were offering to keep me prisoner here!"

She shrugged one shoulder, folding her arms. "I forgot about those darn tests. Sorry."

Her eyes moved to me, looking amused, and then I got it. Why she looked so smug. And I had to work hard not to smirk myself.

"I can do it," I offered.

Calli's head seemed to turn toward me in slow motion, her eyes narrowing. Then moving back and forth between Shelby and I. "You have got to be kidding me," she growled through gritted teeth, her focus on Shelby, who just shrugged.

Then back to me. I shrugged myself, leaning back against the counter, trying to look casual even though my heart raced crazily. "You can always stay here."

"Yeah Calli, stay, read a few people here," Shelby added on.

The look Calli gave her was dangerously angry. The doctor seemed to be watching our back and forth carefully.

"So what's it gonna be?" Shelby asked.

I watched Calli swallow hard, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I can't believe this."

She looked up, meeting my gaze. "Fine," she relented in a quiet voice, then looked away.

The doctor turned to me. "Can I trust you'll make sure she gets the rest?"

Now I did smile. "Oh, you don't have to worry, I'll make sure." I heard Calli blow out an annoyed breath.

"All right," he brightened up. "Seven days of rest Calli. We're not talking bed ridden. But no work, plenty of sleep…no dancing Calli. Understand?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"I'll prescribe you something to help you…"

"No!" she interrupted forcefully, drawing everyone's curious stares. "No," she repeated more calmly. "No pills. They make me sick."

The doctor eyed her carefully. "All right. No pills. But make sure you rest. Let's see some changes, you hear?"

"Yeah, super," she mumbled back.


End file.
